Jumping Off a Cliff
by StarvingLunatic
Summary: Alex is going through the worst rut of her life and Kara shows up to help. Kara manages to make things better at first. When Alex's mind clears, she thinks she's done the worst thing imaginable and Kara has to convince her otherwise. It might be more difficult than the Girl of Steel expected. Omegaverse. G!P/futa warning.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own these characters. DC does.

A/N: So, this is my first trip into this fandom and I'm still feeling out the A/B/O universe. It's quite fun, which is why I decided to do this story. This story got treated by two betas, Kylie and RLynnS, but if you spot any mistakes, those are mine.

Public Service Announcement: this is an A/B/O story with kind of a twist, I guess. There are alphas and omegas here, but there's also alien biology that's not exactly "alien," but there is something alien about it. There is definitely a woman with a penis here, though, so if that's not your thing, don't bother. If you don't mind, I hope you enjoy the story.

Trigger warning: discussion of possible attempted suicide.

As usual, come say hi to me on Facebook. There's a link on my profile.

Jumping Off a Cliff

Agent Vasquez had never seen Agent Danvers so worked up. She doubted the heavy bag would survive, but better the heavy bag go than, say, her. She and every seasoned agent in the building knew better than to get near Agent Danvers right now. They all knew this time like clockwork and only an idiot newbie who had no regard for their safety would spar with Agent Danvers. There had been some morons in the past who liked to try to prove themselves at times like this and Agent Danvers never failed to put them on their asses in less than ten seconds, if they were lucky. If she were in particular mood, she might punish them. But, this was worse. Much worse.

Agent Danvers was drenched in sweat to the point where her red sports' bra was a dark crimson and her muscles seemed to glow. She looked ready to drop, panting instead of taking controlled breaths. Her movements, though powerful, were sluggish. Her stance was solid, but there was a wobble in her gait, which somehow seemed exaggerated in her black jogger sweatpants.

Vasquez was there because some agents who wanted to use the gym had gone in and seen Agent Danvers there over an hour ago. They waited, wise enough to not go in, lest she challenge them to the mats and get become infuriated with them when or if they declined. It was one thing to deal with an upset or frustrated Agent Danvers. It was an entirely different, frightening matter to deal with her like this. So, the agents went to get Vasquez, hoping she could talk Agent Danvers down. Looking at the agent now, Vasquez doubted Agent Danvers would or could hear a word she said.

Now, she tried to figure out a plan. But, she did not have to. After watching for a few minutes, Agent Danvers dropped to the mat, like a fallen tree. She must have been in the gym even longer than when the agents found her. Vasquez had definitely never seen Alex _this_ bad and it got worse before she even stepped into the fighting area of the gym to check.

"Shit," Vasquez muttered as Alex's hips shifted and ground partially against the floor, even though she was laid out on the mat. She rushed into the sparring space to collect the senior agent before someone else saw her. It was one thing to know what this time of the year meant, but it was another thing for agents to see the toughest among them grinding it out.

A groan escaped her as Vasquez got to Alex's side. She expected the smell to be powerful, but she did not expect it to hit her so hard. Coughing, she decided to power through. Her discomfort was nothing compared to the humiliation Alex could suffer if she did not help.

Picking Alex up from the floor was difficult. She was so much taller than Vasquez and she was deceptively dense for someone so lanky. Thankfully, Vasquez was stronger than she looked and managed to drag the deadweight to the empty locker room. She put Alex down on a bench and pulled out her phone. There was only one person she could call to help and she honestly wished that one person was Supergirl. But, her person was close enough.

"I need help," Vasquez said. She gnawed the corner of her bottom lip for a moment. "I'm in the locker room."

Barely two minutes later, the cavalry arrived. "What happened? Are you okay?" Lucy asked in a panic as she burst in. It seemed she failed to notice the smell, which made Vasquez flinch. She probably scared Lucy by calling for assistance without explaining what was wrong, so nothing would register until Lucy saw she was all right.

"I'm fine. Alex, not so much." Vasquez motioned to the agent, who she put on her side, needing to save Alex some embarrassment, even if Alex was unconscious. It did not help much, as Alex was a sad sight, no matter what.

Lucy winced when she looked. "Shit. She's bad." She covered her mouth and nose with her hand as she stared. Vasquez was not sure if it was because the aroma finally hit her or the sight of Alex in such a manner was too overwhelming, even for Lucy.

Alex shivered and shook as if she were stuck in the arctic. Her breathing increased to a pant, like she could not draw in enough air. Sweat dripped from her entire body, even from her nose and fingertips, forming a small puddle on the floor. "Lab. Gotta… lab…"

Lucy jumped, body tense and eyes wide, locked on Alex in case she moved. "She's awake. Should I even be here if she's this far gone?"

Alex growled, trying to pick herself up and failing more than once before she decided to push herself up. Her glistening arms visibly trembled as she planted them on the bench and attempted to move. She slipped several times, but eventually got to a sitting position. Her shoulders slumped from the effort, but moved high with each breath she took. She did not move any more after that. She wore herself out to the point where standing up apparently was an impossible task. Her face and body were flushed red, like a brick, and droplets of perspiration poured off of her, like she had come out of the pool.

"Take me to the lab, damn it." Alex spoke through gritted teeth, voice close to a snarl. Her eyes were barely open with lines marring the skin underneath.

Vasquez and Lucy glanced at each other and then shrugged. It made sense. Alex probably had suppressants in her lab and she definitely needed some right now. They both grabbed her and helped her up. Alex's knees buckled, but they kept her upright. Alex ground her teeth together as she attempted to hold herself up, but she did not have it in her. Once they were certain they had her, Lucy took off her ever-present uniform hat and used it to cover Alex's massive erection, just in case they came across any coworkers as they hotfooted it to the lab.

It was not a long trip, but it felt like it took forever. They had to go up the backstairs, avoiding the traffic in the hall. They slipped into the lab through the back way as well. Thankfully, the lab was empty.

"Do you have suppressants?" Vasquez asked as they sat Alex at her desk. Alex had the nerve to exhale when her butt hit the chair, as if she did any work getting there.

"Cabinet. Syringe." Alex pointed to the far wall, grabbing a key from her drawer. She gripped the arms of her chair and shook to the point where the sound of the chair rattling echoed through the room. Her smell seemed to get stronger, making Vasquez gag a little, but she soldiered on. Vazquez did not understand how Alex was even able to think about what she needed beyond to fill someone and that was enough to keep her moving.

Vasquez nodded and was off. The cabinet was full of different drugs in different containers, rows and rows of bottles and vials, an array of colors. She knew the suppressants on sight thanks to Alex treating her through one of her rougher ruts. She grabbed a first vial she saw and a needle next to it, loading it on her way back over.

"Should I use this one? And if so, how much?" Vasquez asked. While she knew the vial was the correct one, but this one was larger than she recalled. There was no way this was the right dosage.

Alex ground her teeth together and let off a series of heavy breaths to the point of puffing out her cheeks on each exhale. "All of it."

Vasquez froze and Lucy's eyes went wide. First off, most suppressants were in pill form. Taking it in a needle was the most powerful way to take them and it was dangerous. There was no way she could give Alex all of it.

"Alex," Lucy said, her voice a warning. Alex did not even glance at her. Her eyes were glued on the medication in Vasquez's hand.

"It's all right. I wouldn't have it in there if it wasn't," Alex replied before blowing out a long breath. Her brow furrowed, as if she were concentrating on something.

"When you did this for me, you used a different syringe type and everything. I got less than half of this as a douse," Vazquez said, thinking Alex could be reasoned with considering she had not torn herself out of her skin yet. She had not been as bad as Alex during her rut, but she doubted anyone had ever been this bad and still in control of themselves.

"You needed a different amount." Alex rubbed her face, trying to keep it together.

"Yeah, but why do you need this amount? This is a lot. I should get a smaller one." Vasquez had grabbed this one because it was right there.

"Give it to me," Alex growled out, veins in her neck and arms jumping. Her muscles twitched and her eyes looked wild, but somehow she was still in control. "Give it to me before this gets worse!" The room filled with her pheromones to the point where Vasquez thought the aroma might knock her on her ass.

"There's worse than this?" With a sting in her eyes thanks to the smell, Vasquez could hardly believe that. Hell, she would not believed this was real if she was not in the middle of it.

"Give it to her," Lucy ordered with a nod in Alex's direction.

Never one to pass up a command from her superior, Vasquez jabbed the syringe into Alex's elbow and pumped all of the medication in, hoping she did not just perform an assisted suicide. Alex sighed and her body slumped against her chair as the needle was emptied into her. Her breathing calmed down and her veins relaxed.

"You okay?" Vasquez asked, eyes scanning for any sign Alex was not all right.

"Doing good." Alex let out another long sigh. She wiped her forehead, flinging sweat away, but the worry lines remained. She continued to drip, but she was looked better already with some of her color returning.

"What the hell was that about?" Lucy asked with an arched eyebrow. She inched her way closer to the door, even though Alex seemed to be fine. Vasquez thought that was the safe choice. Even if Alex maintained control, Lucy's presence could trouble her.

Alex shook her head while pinching the bridge of her nose. "I don't know. It's never been that bad."

Lucy pursed her lips. "Any idea on why it's so bad right now?"

Alex still pinched her nose, like she had a bad headache. "No idea."

"Have you been around anyone different? You know someone whose pheromones could've affected you like this?" Lucy seemed to be in full lawyer mood now, forgetting the fact that her presence might not be helping.

Alex took several deep breaths and squinted, as if she was thinking about the question. "No. Just work and with Kara."

"You're with Kara all the time and I've never seen you like this before. I mean, there were even times when you were in your rut and we could just spar the energy off you," Vasquez said. Of course, it had been a long while since they had been able to do that. The last rut where she sparred with Alex had been brutal for her. Alex actually had knocked her out, which was why it was the last time.

Lucy glanced at Vasquez. "You sparred with Alex?" There was a twinkle in her eyes and Vasquez stood up a little taller, puffing her chest out a bit.

"No, no, no. I really don't need you drooling over her right now." Alex groused, waving her hands around.

Lucy blushed and looked away. Vasquez really did her best to act cool, but knowing Lucy was impressed with her put too much pride in her. Alex groaned, sounding like she might throw up, and bent over the desk.

"I really need you two to have your eye-sex away from me. Please," Alex begged and then coughed a few times. Her fingers dug into the grips of her chair again and it rattled against the floor. She was trembling again.

"Sorry. Should I leave?" Lucy asked, pointing her thumb to the door. She was hardly two steps from being out of the door anyway. Vasquez wished she could join her, but Alex was obviously not out of the woods yet.

Alex gave her a weak wave. "No, no, no. It's okay. The suppressants are kind of working."

"Tell that to that." Vasquez nodded toward Alex's crotch. Even if she was relaxed enough to no longer be humping the floor, Alex still sported a huge erection.

Alex closed her eyes tight and rubbed them with one hand. "I don't know what's wrong. I haven't done anything different. Yesterday, I went to work, worked out, and then had a sister-night with Kara where she ate all the pizza and we watched terrible horror movies until I went home."

"So, a normal night. Did you pick the pizza up or was it delivered?" Lucy asked, finger on her chin.

"I picked it up on the way over, like I always do," Alex replied.

"And no one new at the pizza spot?" Lucy inquired.

Alex's eyes went to the ceiling, probably running through her entire day to figure out if something went awry. "No, no one new. It was perfectly normal, like always."

"Well, was Kara different? Maybe she had an encounter with someone?" Lucy moved away from the door, coming deeper into the room, like she had to be closer to the answers. Vasquez did not question it and Alex did not even seem to notice. How Alex did not notice, Vasquez had no idea, but she would kill to have such willpower.

Alex's face twisted up and the color drained from her face. Was she about have another episode? Were the suppressants not working? "What? She's my sister. Why would I even notice that?"

Vasquez was a little shocked by the oddly fierce bite in the question. Lucy did not seem affected, but Vasquez recognized a glint in her eyes. Lucy put something together, but Vasquez was not sure what.

"Maybe you should go home. I mean, what if it gets worse?" Vasquez said. The last thing they needed was for Alex to be humping the floor again.

"Then everyone can know my swagger isn't an act and I've got the biggest dick here," Alex replied and Vasquez could not help her reaction.

Vasquez's mouth dropped open while Lucy's eyes went wider than ever. It was worse than they thought. No way Alex in her right mind would say anything close to that with a straight face.

Alex then shook her head and put her hand on her forehead. Her face flushed again and she gagged. "Shit. Okay, I think I need to go home."

"Uh, yeah," Vasquez agreed.

"We'll take you. Do you have a long coat or something to cover… that?" Lucy asked, motioning to Alex's waist with a flick of her fingers. God bless Lucy for keeping it together through all of this.

Sighing, Alex shook her head, shoulders slumping in defeat. Lucy looked at Vasquez, who shrugged. She did not wear long coats. Lucy glared at her, giving her another order. With her own sigh, Vasquez trotted off to find someone with a long jacket they could borrow. It was much harder than she thought it would be. Director Henshaw volunteered his own jacket when he saw her asking around, getting the most bizarre looks from coworkers.

"What's going on?" Doctor Henshaw inquired with that stern glower of his. He folded his arms across his chest after handing over his jacket.

"Thanks, sir. I'm going to try to get Agent Danvers home. She's really sick and shivering, but her little jacket isn't going to be enough to keep her warm," Vasquez reported. Never had she been more glad for her military training. She was able to respond without flinching and no change in her voice, despite how dire the situation was. Now, she needed to get Alex out of the headquarters without drawing any attention to them.

"Just keep my jacket clean," he replied.

"She's wearing pants, sir." She winced, mouth tugging to one side, as she realized what she said to her boss. _Not smooth at all, Vasquez!_ It was time to get out of there. "I'll bring this back soon as possible, sir!" She trotted off before she put her foot further down her mouth.

When she got back to the lab, she could see Alex was hardly better. She was up and pacing. Lucy was still in the room, so that had to be a good thing, but she was close to the door again. Better safe than sorry. Lucy was in the middle of saying something.

"You sure there wasn't a new barista or something? Anywhere you go there could be someone new you didn't notice and now they're affecting you. You had to be around someone new with their pheromones going for a few minutes for this to happen. Maybe when you got donuts for Kara or you had to go buy more black hoodies," Lucy suggested.

"There's no one new! I'd notice." Alex's hands fisted, knuckles whitening, and she snarled. For a second Vasquez tensed, ready to tackle Alex if necessary. She might die fighting with Alex in this state, but if it was for Lucy, it was fine. Alex glanced at her. "Calm down, Super Alpha. I'm not gonna hurt her."

"Uh…" Vasquez looked for Lucy for assistance. She wanted to believe Alex, but the fact that she was still tense and stalking the room like a caged lion made it a bit difficult.

"You found a jacket," Lucy noted with a proud smile.

"It's Director Henshaw's. I told him Alex is going home," Vasquez replied.

That made Alex pause and she stared at Vasquez with eyes the size of dinner plates. "Does he know?"

"I don't think he does. He saw me pathetically asking everyone for their jacket and just offered his own. I told him you had to go home because you're sick." Vasquez was certain Henshaw _did_ know what was going on, but she refused to embarrass any of them in that way. It was bad enough she knew. Making it worse, Lucy witnessed all of this thanks to her. Maybe Alex had something in her lab to wipe their memories after this.

"Let's get you home," Lucy said, taking the jacket from Vasquez. She handed it to Alex, who wrapped herself in it like a cloak. It did the job, even though Alex walked hunched over, like she was hiding something. It appeared she had a stomachache to the untrained eye. Most people went about their business without questioning them. Alex and Lucy glaring at anyone who glanced in their direction probably helped.

They managed to make it out without much trouble. One lab tech did stop them, trying to get answers from Alex about some research they had been conducting. The tech seemed fairly excited over the information as did Alex. Vasquez almost gagged as she inhaled more pheromones from Alex than any alpha needed to smell from another alpha. Lucy was the one who moved them along, turning green from the smell.

"Really? Science does it for you?" Vasquez said to Alex as they kept moving.

"Did I question you that time we sparred and you got hard after I pinned you?" Alex countered.

"Dude!" Vasquez's mouth dropped open. That was high on the list of "things she did not want other people to know."

Lucy gave Vasquez a look and a smirk as they made it into the parking lot. "I can see I'm going to have to check in on your not-a-friendship friendship more often."

"She's my supervisor. We are not friends," Vasquez said as they loaded Alex into Lucy's car. They trained together and occasionally went for drinks. That did not make them friends.

"Definitely not friends." Alex moaned in relief as she hit the soft leather. She leaned back in the car and her face twisted as a loud, drawn out groan left her throat. "Is this where you were during lunch?" She had the nerve to put her hand over her nose.

Lucy glowered at Alex through the rearview mirror. "You are being very rude right now for someone who's been pitching a tent in her pants since I've seen her." Lucy started the car. "Especially considering that someone would still be on the gym floor if it wasn't for Vasquez."

Alex scowled and crossed her arms, but she shut up. Vasquez looked at Lucy, holding back a smile. Lucy winked at her, knowing exactly what Vasquez wanted to say. Vasquez did not ask why Lucy seemed to know where she was going. Lucy and Alex had a history Vasquez was not aware of or a part of, but the same could be said of her and Alex. At least Lucy did not seem to affect Alex in any way, but that was weird in and of itself. The only way it could be explained was that Alex had a mate already and they all knew that was untrue.

The drive was awkwardly silent. Lucy rolled down all the windows after Alex dry-heaved a couple of times. Vasquez could understand Alex's reaction considering she wanted to empty her stomach thanks to the stench coming from Alex. They were all grateful when they pulled up to the building, but Vasquez still had to help Alex stand up and walk.

"Any place you want us to park you?" Vasquez asked as they made it into Alex's apartment. She had never been there, not even the few nights she had been out drinking with Alex. Alex shrugged out of the jacket as if trying to escape its hold. It would need to be dry-cleaned, definitely. She would leave that bill to Alex.

"I'm okay right here," Alex replied, sitting on the couch. The sigh that left her made it seem like she was down on a plush cloud. She was back to sweating like crazy, liquid dripping down her hair. Veins popped up in her neck, her forehead was furrowed, and her face had faded from red to a milky green.

"You don't look 'okay right here,'" Vasquez pointed out.

Alex waved Vasquez off as she put her head down on the back of the cushion. "I'll be fine. Just take some more suppressants." She put her hand on her head and massaged her forehead.

Vasquez's eyes went wide. "You're kidding, right? I already pumped you full of suppressants, directly into your blood, where you can't have that shit for the whole rut." It was dangerous enough to inject Alex with the amount she did in the first place and now she was talking about taking more? Did she want to fall into a coma or worse?

A small scoff left Alex. "I'm a doctor, Vas. I know what I can and can't have."

"Yeah, did you notice how you just made up a nickname from me? You've only done that a couple of times since we've met. It's never a good sign. We don't do that. No more drugs for you," Vasquez replied. She had only witnessed Alex out of character a few times, most of them involving alcohol. Alex might have a substance abuse problem, at least when she was stressed.

"You should sleep," Lucy suggested. "Where do you keep your blankets?" She was already off, like the whirlwind she was.

Alex did not respond, too busy shivering. She probably did not need a blanket, but Vasquez did not say anything. Alex would probably sweat through any cover before a minute was up.

"You need anything?" Vasquez asked for lack of a better thing to do. She was tempted to bring the bathroom trashcan. Eventually, Alex's dry-heaves might produce something.

There was only a groan as Alex curled into herself, wrapping her arms around her knees as she fell to the side on the sofa. Lucy came and covered her with a thin sheet. Alex clutched the sheet like a lifeline, still trembling and she coughed, like she was trying to expel something from her body. Sniffing the air, Vasquez tried to figure out if Lucy's smell might be affecting Alex now.

Lucy did not seem to notice or care and went to the kitchen. Vasquez was not sure what was going on, but watched Lucy work. She came back with a steaming mug and put it down on the coffee table.

"Drink that. Peppermint tea is supposed to be very good at calming down a heavy rut. Do you want us to stay?" Lucy asked.

Alex had already sweated through the sheet. It probably would not be safe for them to stay, but Vasquez was not sure she felt right about leaving Alex. What if Alex took more suppressants? She could end up dead. The Director would never forgive her for leaving the DEO's best agent for dead and never mind what Supergirl would think.

"No, go." A groan. "Fuck, you smell good," Alex said and then she ground her teeth together before slamming her hand over her mouth.

"Going." Lucy turned for the door, Vasquez right behind her. As soon as they were in the hallway, Lucy got on the phone.

"Who you calling?" Vasquez asked.

"Her sister. Someone has to look after her."

Vasquez nodded. Okay, she felt better about leaving, not that they could stay any longer than they had. Vasquez knew how bad a rut could be, but Alex seemed like she was in the worst place possible.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara was not sure what she expected to find at Alex's apartment. Lucy simply told her Alex was in a bad way without explaining what that meant. She said something about a rut, but Kara was not too sure what that meant. Despite being on the planet for over ten years, there were still some human matters that escaped her attention. But, she needed to help Alex.

Alex was on the couch and her heart was beating too fast, too loud. She looked asleep, tucked into a ball, but shaking with a damp sheet around her. Kara's brow furrowed as she tried to figure out what she was looking at. In that moment, she felt like she was slapped by the smell coming from Alex. A breath escaped her before she realized it.

"It's that smell again. What is that?" Kara leaned in, wanting a closer whiff and her mouth watering with just a hint of the scent. She smelled this before, several times in her life actually. Alex smelled good to her, all the time, but especially now, even though it was clear she was sweating like she spent the whole day exercising.

Kara shook her head. The aroma was not important right now, helping Alex was. So, first things first, she wanted to get Alex out of that wet sheet. Tugging it as gently as she could from Alex's grip, she put the sheet on the floor and got to see Alex was lying in a puddle on the sofa, her hips grinding against the cushions.

"Oh, Alex." Kara pouted, but her body hummed. She knew it had to do with the smell. This had happened to her before, but she ignored it as best she could. "Gotta take care of Alex."

She lifted Alex into her arms, planning to put her in her bed, so she could at least be comfortable. As soon as Alex was against her, she knew this was a mistake. Alex tucked in close to her and rubbed her nose against Kara's neck. Kara shivered and moaned.

"Kara," Alex whispered, dragging her lips across Kara's pulse.

Kara finally understood what people meant when they said their knees went weak. Alex nipped her and Kara almost dropped her. She rushed to the bed and pulled the covers back. She put Alex down as gently as she could, but as quickly as she could as well. Alex groaned and her eyes fluttered open, but there was a glassy look in her eyes.

"Kara…" Alex reached out for her.

Kara moved away, her heart pounding now as loudly as Alex's. "Yeah, Alex?"

"Come…" Alex waved her over.

Kara blinked. "You… you… you want me?" Was that what was going on? She dared not hope. There had been too many times when she did hope and only to get let down. Alex did not mean it, she knew. She read into things the wrong way, especially back then. She had not understood humans and sometimes she still did not understand humans.

Alex rubbed herself against her mattress. "Need you. Need you now."

Kara gulped. How many times had she longed to hear those words? Dreams from years ago raced through her mind. _Alex needs you, wants you_. Her body buzzed at the thought. Would it be right? Why would it not? She had wanted Alex for almost as long as she had been on Earth. She could remember so many little instances when Alex did something or said something or just stood there and Kara felt in awe of her, of her beauty, of her intelligence, or her bravery. She had never met anyone like Alex and after living on two planets, she was certain Alex was one of a kind.

"Are you sure?" Kara asked, wringing her hands together. This was not why Lucy called her. She was supposed to help. _Well, maybe this would help_. After all, Alex had been humping the couch when she found her.

"Need you so bad. Come here." Alex reached out for her again, brushing her fingers against Kara's flesh before Kara could think to get out of the way again. It felt like electricity jumped between them and it caused a throbbing between her legs like Kara had never known.

"This is so not fair," Kara whimpered and tried to gain some control over herself. It was impossible at this point. Alex smelled way too good, the simple feel of her fingers against Kara's hand, and the notion that Alex desired her was too much. "I'm Supergirl, not Super-Angel!" she groaned.

Alex mimicked the sound. "Come here. I wanna make you sound like that right now." Sitting up, she began undressing.

Kara shook her head and rushed out of the apartment. She needed to prepare for this better. She would return, but she needed to get herself together. Alex needed her, after all.

-8-8-8-8-

When Alex woke, as far as she knew anyway, she was not sure how she got into bed or how she ended up naked in bed. It did not matter. What did matter was getting the covers off of her. She was much too hot and felt like she was melting. Her bed was wet, from sweat and other body fluids she knew. It did not matter to her. Only one thing mattered to her.

"Fuck!" She snarled, taking herself into her hand and pumping her fist like there was no tomorrow. It did nothing for her. Tears welled up in her eyes. "Fuck," she hissed and gripped herself harder, moved her hand faster. "Kara…" _No, don't you fucking dare, you fucking degenerate!_ "Kara…" she moaned again, wishing for all the world Kara was with her.

"Alex," Kara's sweet voice drifted from the foot of the bed.

Alex's eyes shot up to see Kara standing in front of her. "Shit!" She sobered quickly, hand flying to the covers and throwing them over herself. "Kara, what the hell are you doing here?" She should have texted Kara and told her to stay away, told her she was on a mission, just something to keep Kara away from her apartment during her rut.

Kara came closer, possibly floating over to her. "I got a call you weren't feeling well. I got here and you were a mess on the couch. The couch was covered in… well, you know. You were shaking like you were in subzero weather. Your heart was pounding like I've never heard. Your smell…" She shook her head, like trying to get the scent out of her head.

"Kara…" Alex took a deep breath and felt like she had been drenched in liquid sex. "Fuck, you gotta go!" She could not stop her hand, jerking up and down. _God, I'm going to super-Hell for this!_

"I'm not." Kara was by her side now, sitting right on the edge of the bed.

She leaned in, like she was about to touch Alex. Alex's brain short-circuited, as the logical part of her brain told her to retreat while the needy part ordered her to stay right the fuck there. She ended up glued to the spot and Kara's hand came in contact with her dick. She hissed as fireworks danced in front of her eyes and pleasure burned through every nerve ending she had. _All that from a touch?_

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Alex said through her teeth as she fought down the urge to pump into Kara's hand. The only thing keeping her still was that her brain was overloaded with pleasure, pure bliss. All she could do was feel.

"I didn't know you had one of these," Kara said, as if that was optimum conversation for the moment. Her hand drifted lightly over the tip, absently, like she did not know what it was. Alex bit back a whine, head drooling.

"Kara…" Alex's hips had a mind of their own, chasing Kara's hand as her cock twitched and spurted across her stomach. Hissing, a plea ended up on the tip of her tongue. "More…" Ecstasy blazed through her with each touch, which was barely there. The promise of a touch made her feel like she might explode.

Kara did not disappoint. She tightened her grip just a little and sped up. Alex threw her head back, moaning loudly, curse words spilling from her lips like prayers as a surge of ecstasy shot through her. She would never begin to describe how good this felt. She throbbed in Kara's soft hand and whimpered as pure elation was tattooed on her skin.

"You like this?" Kara asked with a tilt of her head, her eyes were stuck on the dripping slit of Alex's cock and the flexing muscles of her abdomen.

"Fuck, yes," Alex growled. Who the hell would not like this? _No, you shouldn't like this. Hello, you dumbass, your little sister is jerking you off, idiot!_ She was already so far gone she could not even understand the voice of reason inside her own head.

"Is this good enough?" Kara asked, a thumb tracing the curve of her tip.

"Good enough?" Alex snarled. Of course it was not good enough! She was in the middle of the worst rut of her life. How in the hell would a hand job be enough? But, honestly, she would take literally anything from Kara right now and be grateful. Either way, she would probably die anyway, either from joy or grief.

"They didn't cover much of this in basic health class or even biology! This is a regular, working penis, right?" Kara's face scrunched up, but thankfully she did not stop her movement, pulling a throaty groan from Alex's mouth as more fluid leaked from her head.

Alex's brow furrowed. What the hell kind of question was that? Did Kara think there was something wrong with her dick? How dare she! Alex growled louder than before, a rumbling from deep within her chest. She would show Kara how well her penis worked. _Wait, no. You can't show Kara anything about your dick. Your dick that is in her hand. Fuck_.

"Kara," Alex hissed and tried so hard to stop her body from moving, but it was impossible. This was everything she wanted and so much more than she ever expected. _You're going to whatever the hell is underneath Hell_. She could not bring herself to care, though. She needed more. "Kara."

"I could…" Kara circled the head of Alex's penis with her thumb and Alex's body felt overloaded with pleasure. She fell back onto her bed and her body shook with delight. Shit, she needed Kara to keep doing that, to do more than that.

"You could?" Alex asked, breathless. Her chest hurt and her skin burned. She wanted to tear out of her own skin and get into Kara's.

Kara's squinted in concentration. "I want to…"

"Do whatever you want," Alex said, hoping whatever that was included more of Kara's body, all of Kara's body. Could there be more than all of Kara's body? Was that a thing?

Kara nodded and stood, hand moving away from Alex's body. Alex let out a mournful moan, like she had lost a dear friend. Sitting up, she turned, wanting to grab Kara back, wanting to have Kara in every way possible. A hand on her chest stopped her.

"Patience," Kara said.

Alex only snarled again. How the fuck could she be patient when Kara smelled like sex on a stick? She wanted to bury her knot inside of Kara and never leave.

"When I fuck you like you've never been fucked before, we'll see who needs patience," Alex said. _No, no, no! You don't say alpha bullshit to Kara. What the fuck is wrong with you?_ Everything was wrong with her. She needed to fuck Kara now or kill herself. Those were the only options and if Kara left, Alex would throw herself out of the window. _I should probably still throw myself out of the window_. She would concern herself with that after seeing what Kara was up to.

"I hope you mean that," Kara replied as she undid her skirt, letting it fall to the floor in a gently pooling heap.

Alex's mouth fell open and her eyes bugged out. Kara was undressing in her bedroom. This was probably a dream. That made sense. Her rut was really bad this time, probably the worst it had ever been. She was probably stuck in a fever dream. Why the hell else would Kara be undressing for her? _Because you're a fucking alpha and she should be doing that because it's what you want._ Alex shook the thought away. Fuck her inner alpha and its bullshit.

"I've wanted you for so long. I want you so much," Kara said as she stepped out of her skirt and underwear. Her scent hit Alex full force, like a freight train. Shit. Alex was not sure it was possible, but she hardened further as her cock twitched and slapped heavily back against her belly in a sticky, liquid pool of arousal. It was like every drop of blood in her body was in her dick.

Her inner alpha wanted to swagger and beat her chest, but for all the sex in the air, Alex was still Alex somehow. "No, you can't. Why would you?" There was no reason for Kara to want her and she was not supposed to want Kara. She was supposed to protect Kara, not draw her down a path of deviant behavior. This was all wrong.

"So many reasons," Kara replied.

Alex was still incredulous. "Like?" Of course, even though she was in disbelief, she had not lost any of her erection. In fact, her cock jumped at the thought of Kara caring for "so many reasons." _Damn it, just stop for a second, dick. We need to do the right thing, especially for Kara. This is Kara, after all_. Her cock's response was to throb.

Kara only smiled as she climbed onto the bed and swung her leg over Alex's hips. Alex could hardly believe what was happening. She had dreams of Kara in this position before. Surely this was a dream as well. _Maybe I died and this is the illusion my brain has decided to give me to comfort me_.

Alex was about to say something, but words jumped from her brain as Kara gripped her once more, positioning the head of her cock right at her entrance. Alex could not rip her eyes away, could practically feel the heat and desire of Kara. Her dick pulsed in Kara's delicious grip and she licked her lips as her chest felt like it was about to cave in. Alex could not breathe, too scared it might cause Kara to stop, and too overwhelmed that this was really about to happen. Her lungs burned and every inch of her felt like she might be crushed from the pressure inside her body.

"Alex, it's all right. I need you to breathe," Kara said in a low tone as she slid Alex's length through her wetness, making Alex's skin tingle and she felt like she might implode from the promise of what was happening.

Alex shook her head as she tried to keep her wits about her. She could not breathe if she wanted to. She did not need air anyway. She needed what was in front of her, on top of her, about to be around her. She put her hands on Kara's hips and it felt like her fingers were seared with passion, jolts of pleasure shot up her arms through her body. A deep snarl escaped her and she tried to take control of the situation and bring Kara down on her. She was surprised at how easily she moved Kara. Kara yelped as their bodies brushed against each other. Alex felt like she might start foaming at the mouth.

"You're stronger than I realized," Kara said with a flush to her face.

"How?" Pride filled Alex just as she planned to fill Kara, but something was wrong here. Alex knew, even under the haze of I-need-to-fuck-you-right-now she should not be able to move Kara, regardless of how much her inner alpha thought otherwise. Her inner alpha was more of an idiot than she was.

Kara held up her wrist, showing off a training band Alex had been designing for her. "Thought I might need this."

"That's just a prototype," Alex said, staring at the band. Again, Alex being Alex seemed to trump everything. Even in the fog of her rut and her alpha chomping at the bit to have what it had always desired, Alex still worried about Kara's safety. "It might have too much kryptonite in it."

Kara leaned down, taking Alex's mouth in a deep and passionate kiss, their first of the night. Alex's mind went blank as she felt Kara's tongue against her own. All she could do was kiss Kara back, clasp her creamy thighs, feel bliss claw at every nerve, and ache to be inside of her. She throbbed at the thought and each second that passed without burying herself in Kara gave way to true agony.

Alex's head fell back as her tip glided through the liquid passion that was Kara. The kiss was gone and she felt like it ripped a little hole in her soul. A little moan escaped Kara and Alex was now painfully hard, unbearably so. She might even go insane if she could not have Kara right now.

"I've never…" Kara whispered as she bit her lower lip and let loose a high pitched moan as her hips gently rocked against the firm length poised right under her.

Shit. Alex was going to die here. This had to be a dream because it was something right out of too many of her fantasies. "Are you… you never?" The idea of Kara being untouched made her cock twitch. _You filthy bastard! Isn't it enough you want to fuck your sister for crying out loud? Now, you're turned on by her being a virgin, too?_ And, damn it, if her inner alpha did not have a response for that. _Fuck, yes. She's mine!_

"Too nervous about losing control. I didn't want to risk hurting anyone. I've touched myself, you know?" Kara braced herself on strong shoulders, her body angled over the panting and very nearly writhing Alex. Her own breath heavy and fast.

"Fuck. Kara… you don't… we don't have to," Alex managed through gritted teeth, even though images of Kara touching herself ran through Alex's mind like they were competing in a marathon. If she did not get to bury herself inside something fast, she would explode and die.

"Oh, no, Alex, we have to." There was a spark in blue eyes unlike any Alex had ever seen. It was not the innocent gleam usually there, but one of desire. "I want to so badly. I have for a really long time. I want you so bad." Kara leaned down for another kiss, swallowing the protest on the tip of Alex's tongue.

Alex easily forgot whatever they were talking about in favor of the feel of Kara's perfect tongue and lips. She could not help moaning as her hands gave Kara's thighs a squeeze as they glided up and down smooth, soft skin. The feel of Kara was so much more than anything she had ever dreamed. Alex was almost convinced this could not be reality.

The sweet smell of arousal grew, sticking to the roof of Alex's mouth. The scent was the only thing that kept her sure this was real. Smell did not travel well in the imagination.

Kara moaned louder, each sound thumping through Alex. It took Alex several long moments to realize Kara was touching herself. Her eyes locked on the movement of Kara's fingers, making her drip onto Alex, who was so sensitive, she could feel it against her skin. _Fuck_. If it were not for her rut, she probably would have blown right there, but there was no way she was going to give up anything, not a single drop, until she was sheathed in pure heaven.

"Kara," Alex whimpered. _You're whimpering like a fucking omega? Yeah, the Girl of freaking Steel will find that attractive_. She hated her inner alpha all the time, but now especially. _Just shut the fuck up. You're one of the reasons I'm fucked up as it is_.

Kara blinked. "Sorry…"

"No, let me." Alex's hand drifted from the top of Kara's thigh to the inside. She trembled as she touched Kara intimately, feeling Kara's arousal on her fingertips as she sought Kara's clit. _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ Okay, she could probably die happy right now, did not even matter she did not get a chance to truly feel Kara.

Kara bucked against her. "Sorry. That feels so good."

"Stop saying sorry. I don't need your sorry." She needed Kara's orgasm and then she needed to knot the blonde.

Kara mewled and now she chased Alex's fingers. Alex licked her lips as she felt Kara dripping down her fingers. This was Kara's essence on her flesh. Her heart pounded in her chest from the thought and feel. Kara's nails dug into Alex's shoulders and her eyes drifted shut. It the most beautiful sight Alex had ever seen.

"Kara, I'm gonna go inside," Alex said.

"Please," Kara whined.

Alex could never deny Kara, especially not now with her face tense and her eyes screwed shut as she scrambled to climax. Kara's hips moved erratically as Alex eased her index finger inside. Kara was so tight that Alex howled as she pushed all the way in. Kara's head dropped to Alex's shoulder.

"Oh, Rao. That feels so good," Kara breathed out.

Internally, Alex preened, beyond proud to make Kara feel good. As she pumped her finger in and out slowly, Kara whimpered and her hips moved a little. Alex felt more of Kara's essence flow down her hand. _You're doing that to her, doing this for her. No one else. Only you_.

Alex pushed another finger in, earning a yelp from Kara, which turned into a moan as she gave into deep thrusts. Kara pressed their chests together as her hips moved with more purpose. In the back of her mind, Alex noted Kara still had on her shirt, but that did not matter. Kara's pleasure was the only thing that mattered.

"I can take care of you," Alex said, crooking her fingers inside of Kara. She was not sure if those words were her own or her inner alpha. Did it matter?

Kara let a scream and her hips picked up speed. "Please," she begged.

"Always." Alex's thumb flicked across Kara's clit and that was it.

Kara's moan, right in Alex's ear, was small and cute. It hit Alex in her heart, but also in her eternally hard cock. But, her inner alpha was somewhat satisfied as she had taken care of Kara. That did not last long as Kara began peppering kisses along Alex's neck, cheeks, and then her lips. As Kara's tongue made its home in Alex's mouth once more, she found herself needing so much more attention.

"Kara," Alex hissed as her erection bumped up against Kara and she could feel all of the wonderful slickness and heat.

"I know." Kara sat up and took hold of Alex once more.

Alex twitched and whimpered as Kara slid her hand up and down Alex's length. "Kara." This was a warning.

Kara had the nerve to give her that innocent smile where her nose wrinkled. She eased down and Alex screamed as her head slipped inside a soaked channel. Tight was not even the word for it. This was heaven. Alex died and went to heaven. That was the only explanation.

Kara made a noise Alex did not think she was capable of, something deep and rich, and might as well have been a mating call with the way it struck Alex. She did not move and Alex wanted to give her a moment to adjust, a moment to get used to the feel of her, but her body refused. Her feet had her anchored to the bed and her hips rolled as much as they could. Kara's body embraced her so snugly, so wonderfully, so much like paradise. This was perfect.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Alex chanted, tears building in her eyes as she clutched Kara's waist to keep her right there. How could she ever think this was wrong? Nothing could ever or would ever feel this right, this good.

Kara mewed and moved with Alex, taking all of her in, making her feel glorious in every way possible. Alex saw stars and her body jumped to meet each move by Kara. She gripped Kara's thighs tighter, wanting to bring her down even harder, faster.

"Feels so good," Kara moaned, arching her back, thrusting her breasts out. One of Alex's hands immediately went for a feel, even though Kara still had on her damned shirt. Still, the weight of Kara's breast in her hand added to this amazing experience.

"Fuck, yeah," Alex concurred. "So good." Some part of her rational mind had been certain this would be a disaster. _What the fuck made me think that?_ She did not know and it did not matter. The only thing that mattered was Kara coming all over her knot.

Kara moved with even more intent, chasing her end. Alex growled and slid a hand up and down Kara's torso, stroking her with deep reverence. She gently squeezed the breast under her grip, thumb going right for the nipple and brushing across it. Kara jumped and came down even harder. Inside, she fluttered and pulsed around Alex. It was like nothing she had ever felt.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kara, I'm gonna…" She hissed as there was another intense flutter.

"Do it," Kara said.

"Not yet." There was no way she would peak before Kara got a chance to climax again. "'Sides, gonna knot." She was not sure if she should knot Kara. _Really, you're not sure? You shouldn't be doing this at all!_ She ignored that stupid voice. Why should she not be doing this?

Kara arched her back and grabbed Alex's legs for better leverage, giving them a new angle. "Do it."

Kara did not know what she was asking. She had barely passed health in high school, spending most of her time trying to block out the awful din of the world. Who the hell thought to put health class in ninth grade? Alex could not knot her. That would make all of this so much worse. And then Kara came down on her, crying out in pleasure, pulsing all around Alex, embracing her like never before, and it was too much for Alex.

Alex could only describe the sound that came out of her as a roar when she released inside Kara, who did not stop moving. Alex's body went rigid and then she collapsed onto the mattress. Kara made a surprised yelp and Alex realized her knot was forming. Kara did not stop, though.

"Kara, no, don't…" Alex grunted as part of knot slipped in. How? How was Kara possibly that wet? How was her body so welcoming, so willing?

Kara did not stop moving and Alex was incredulous as her knot went in with very little difficulty. The scream that came from Kara would have made Alex proud if she were not busy trying to stay conscious. It felt like she poured her whole into existence into Kara, who willingly accepted everything she had before collapsing onto Alex.

"That was awesome," Kara whispered into Alex's neck before placing several soft kisses wherever her mouth could reach.

Alex grunted. Words were beyond her. All she could do was feel, feel the weight and heat of Kara, feel the gentle kisses, feel herself pouring into Kara. _Fuck, I probably shouldn't be doing that_. It was not like she could stop now. Kara was knotted, even though she did not seem to know that as she tried to roll off of Alex. They both moaned and Alex put her arms around Kara to keep her still.

"Stop. You jostling my knot isn't going to make it go away any faster," Alex said, biting back a groan as another jet released from her and into Kara.

"Your knot?" Kara lifted up, just enough to look at Alex like a lost puppy.

Alex could not help herself and ran her hand through Kara's hair. "Yeah, my knot."

Kara blew out her cheeks. "I should've paid more attention to your human sex class. I didn't think your biology would be so different from Kryptonians when I first got here."

"Yeah, you should've retaken health, if only to boost your average."

Kara pursed her lips in a way that made Alex want to kiss her. Considering the fact that her knot was in Kara and she was spurting inside of Kara, she figured a kiss would not be so bad. Kara responded, lips moving with Alex's. When Alex's tongue lapped at Kara's mouth, Kara opened for her as easily as before. Kara tried to move again and Alex moaned.

"Kara, again, my knot is there," Alex reminded her.

Kara groaned. "You shouldn't look so much like us if we're not all the same underneath it all. I was so confused when I found out you guys actually have three sexes and two genders or no gender, but all of that could be mixed into different combinations. Like, what is that? Just have two sexes like normal people."

Alex pinched Kara's hip. "Excuse you, three sexes is normal for us. Maybe it's your Kryptonians who are not normal. Two sexes." She scoffed as if that was ridiculous. Her hands gripped at flexing thighs as their bodies continued of their own volition, her hips softly rolling and shifting her cock deep inside Kara as she continued to occasionally spill inside her.

"Well, either way, I'm glad we're built for each other." Kara wiggled against Alex.

Alex swallowed down a moan. "Kara…" She sighed. "We shouldn't have done this." _Speak for yourself! This was awesome and as soon as this knot goes down we're doing it again_. Alex sucked her teeth to her inner alpha, even though her hips kept moving. Her body and part of her mind were in favor of doing this again, and again, and again.

Kara poked out her lip, half of it gripped in white teeth as her eyes rolled momentarily at a particularly well placed thrust from Alex. "You're kidding, right? This was perfect. We should've done this a long time ago."

 _You hear that? "A long time ago." You were so worried and she wanted your knot for probably as long as you wanted to bury the damn thing into her_. After this, Alex planned to go into therapy, maybe even extra therapy if only to quiet the stupid voice in her head. "No, you shouldn't have even been here. Why are you here?"

Kara snuggled against Alex, tucking her head under Alex's chin, her hands caressing Alex's sides. "Lucy called me and said you were sick and you needed someone to look after you. She was right that you needed someone to look after you. But, then when I got here, I could smell what was really wrong with you and I think I made it worse."

"What? Of course you didn't." Alex caressed and kissed the top of Kara's head. She did not want Kara to think any of this was her fault. Alex was the one who was messed up in the head, being attracted to her sister.

Kara shook her head and picked herself up enough to look Alex in the face. "No, I did. Look, I know you know a lot about Kryptonian biology, but there are some things even you don't know."

Alex arched an eyebrow. "Like?" This was enough to distract her from the fact that she had not only crossed a line, but was technically still crossing it even as her knot began going down.

"Like when we reach a certain age, we…" Kara screwed up her face, eyes searching the ceiling for the right words. "We secrete sort of a pheromone-laced vapor directed to entice a person we're attracted to."

Alex's face fell. "You make sex pollen?" This was her life. She hung out with and loved an alien who was powered by the sun and made sex pollen. _Come on, in the grand scheme of your life, would this even crack the top ten list of weird things?_ Considering where her dick was, yeah, this was crack the top ten, if not make the top.

Kara sputtered, words lost in a jumble for a long moment. "It's not sex pollen! It's just to let a person know we're attracted to them and we should become bond-mates. It's usually a person we've already formed a close bond with."

"How often do you pollinate?"

Kara frowned. "I am not a plant."

"Says the sentient being who goes through photosynthesis. How often do you do this?"

"A couple of times a year until our bond-mate acknowledges us."

"And when do you start pollinating?"

Kara shrugged. "I don't think it has a time limit. It can only happen after puberty and after we meet someone who starts up the process. Although, I guess one can happen before the other, not that the order matters. It gets more powerful as we get older if we're with our bond-mate, but the bond hasn't been acknowledged."

"Kara, how long have you been blasting me with sex pollen?" Wanting to be annoyed or flattered, Alex was not sure how she felt about this. Maybe stupid. How could she not notice?

Kara scrunched up her face again. "Um… since I was sixteen, I guess. But, it's probably sixteen in Kryptonian years. But, I think I definitely hit you the first time when I found out you were leaving for college."

"You've been doing this for ten years?"

Kara puffed out her cheeks. "Well, I wouldn't have done it if you noticed the first dozen times."

Alex could not even be mad about it. How could she be mad? Her knot was buried inside sunshine personified. Not only that, sunshine personified wanted her there, had been calling to her for years.

"Alex?" Kara said.

"Yeah?"

"Are you… are you growing inside of me?"

Alex winced. She had not even realized her knot was gone. Learning that Kara wanted her, had been calling to her for years made her hard again.

"Round two." Alex rolled them over and began thrusting before they even settled into a space on the bed.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara yelped, not expecting to end up on her back, but she did not mind it at all. The fact that Alex was so strong was a huge turn on. She managed to get out of her shirt, so happy to have a pullover instead of button-down for once. Her bra was a little trickier because Alex did not stop moving. Alex noticed and helped, easily opening the bra with one hand. The bra fell away, Kara flung it to the floor, and then gripped Alex's shoulders as Alex pumped into her. She moaned, throwing her head back.

Alex leaned down, dragging her tongue across one of Kara's nipples. Kara did not know she could feel even better, but the jolts that went through her as Alex lapped at her breasts was almost too much for her to process. Why had they waited so long to do this? Why did they not to this everyday? Could they do this everyday? Her train of thought halted as Alex's teeth sank into her throat. Even biting felt good? Oh, Rao. What was she supposed to do with all of this sensory information? And then, Alex growled in her ear, sending tingles down her spine.

"Oh, Alex!" Kara grabbed the hair at the nape of Alex's neck as her legs spread wider, trying to take in more of Alex.

"Take all of me," Alex said, voice rough all of a sudden. It sent more shivers down Kara's spine and took her mind back to so many fantasies.

"You feel better than I could've imagined." Kara keened against Alex.

"Tell me," Alex grunted with a particularly sharp thrust.

Kara moaned and dug her nails into Alex's shoulders. "Tell you?"

"Tell me what you thought about," Alex said before running her teeth down Kara's neck. Surely Alex could feel how heavy her heart was pounding from her pulse point, but it did not seem to matter.

Kara licked her lips and tried to formulate a coherent thought. It was too difficult. All she could focus on was the pleasure of having Alex inside of her. Again, why had this taken so long? They could have been doing this for so long. She could have been feeling this perfection so for long.

"Tell me," Alex repeated, her hand on Kara's naked breast.

Kara arched and wiggled, trying to get more of that touch. Without thinking, she pulled Alex's head down, wanting a kiss. The kiss somehow helped keep her grounded, even though every other sensation made her feel like she was floating away on a river of bliss. Then, jolts popped through her as Alex flicked her nipple again.

Kara tossed her head to the side. "Oh, Rao!"

Alex did not come back in for another kiss. Instead, she sat up and pulled Kara to her, driving deeper into Kara. Moaning, Kara writhed and shifted, trying to get more. She was not sure what she wanted more of. More of Alex? More of this pleasure? Both? It did not matter. She raked her nails down Alex's arms, ecstasy scorching through every inch of her.

"Alex, Alex, Alex," Kara said the name like a prayer. That was how it felt and it seemed to urge Alex forward, harder and deeper. Kara felt like she was going to lose her mind and then Alex's thumb found her clit and it was over. Her body exploded, colored flashed before her eyes, and she felt flooded with emotion. Alex did not stop and it happened again… or it continued on. Kara was not sure at that point, but it all felt so good.

-8-8-8-8-

There were birds making noise outside, even though the sun was not even up yet. Alex woke up finally feeling human again. Human enough to realize what she had done. She had spent the past two days, having the best sex of her life with Kara. Her sister. Fuck. _Mom is going to tie you up, cut your dick off, force you to eat it, and then kill you. And you'll deserve it_.

"Fuck," Alex hissed and eased away from Kara. Kara even let her be the big spoon, like she knew it would appease Alex's inner alpha. _Or maybe you forced her to do that, too_. Fuck.

Alex jumped out of bed. Well, more plummeted out of bed. She needed to get out of here. She needed to… she needed to…? She did not know what she needed, not really. She grabbed the nearest pair of pants, trying to get in them and flee at the same time. Instead, she fell, crashing face first into the floor. She would have a bruise on her chin, but she did not care about that.

"Alex?" Kara's voice was sleepy.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Alex banged her head on the floor. Maybe if she was good at this at least, she would kill herself. She banged harder.

"Alex?" Kara's voice was more alert now, closer.

"I can't believe this. I can't believe I did this. How fucking stupid am I? Fuck, fuck, fuck." Alex tried to crawl away and get into her pants at the same time. It did not work well. She banged her head once more. _Stupid_.

"Alex, what's wrong?" Kara asked.

"Fuck, I can't believe I did this. I'm so fucking stupid." Alex rubbed her face. Maybe this was a nightmare. Her worst nightmare, but there was still a chance it was not real. There was a chance she had not tore her world in half.

"Alex." Kara tried to wrap her in a hug, but she threw Kara's arms off of her. She did not deserve such kindness.

"Don't touch me!" Alex shoved away, chest heaving as she tried to get in air, but it felt impossible. It was like there was no oxygen in the room.

Kara whimpered. "I'm sorry…"

Alex looked up to see tears in Kara's eyes and immediately her heart melted. "It's not your fault, Kara. It's me! I shouldn't have made you do this. Fuck, Mom knew I'd do this. I thought I could control myself, but I'm such a fucking screw up!" _Why didn't you take more suppressants? It didn't matter if you ended up in the hospital again. It would've made sure you didn't do this, you fucking monster!_

"Alex." Kara's voice was soft, gentle again. She came closer again, put a hand on Alex's back.

Something inside of Alex broke from the simple touch. It was like that one touch was too much and she could feel everything inside of her crack and shatter. She began sobbing.

"It's okay," Kara whispered.

"No, it's not! Mom knew this would happen. It's why she moved me into my own room sophomore year. I presented as an alpha and she fucking knew this would happen. She knew I'd do some fucking degenerate shit because I'm a terrible person. Fuck!" Alex bawled, punching herself in the chest, needing to ease the pain and punish herself somehow. This was the worst thing she could have possibly done. Kara did not understand, could not understand. She did not even know how human sexuality worked.

"Eliza knew I was attracted to you?" Kara asked, as she stroked soothingly over Alex's naked back.

"No, she knew I'd fucking defile you! I've been doing my best. I've tried to be the best fucking sister possible to you and in the end I can't even do that right. I ended up right where Mom thought I would. She knew I was a fuck up," Alex sobbed and coughed, feeling snot leak from her nose. Even when she tried her best, she always proved her mother was right to be disappointed in her.

"You're not, Alex. You're not. You didn't do anything wrong," Kara tried to assure her.

Alex shook her head and sniffled while wiping her face with one hand. "I did everything wrong. I lusted after you, my fucking sister. My rut was so fucking bad because I was hanging out with you before it started and I knew better because this happened before. It wasn't this bad, but it was still fucking bad. I tried to take so many damn suppressants to make it stop and I even fucked that up."

"Suppressants?" Kara echoed and she gasped. "Oh, my god, is that when you went to the hospital?"

Alex nodded before she could stop herself. She really did not want to talk about that. She was probably more messed then than she was now, which said something.

"Alex, you almost died," Kara said, her voice low and haunted. "It scared me." She whimpered and the sound cut through Alex like a hot knife.

"It scared me, too," Alex whispered.

Kara kept caressing her back and she hated how much it calmed her down. "What scared you?"

"My rut." Alex's voice was haunted even to her own ears. "It was so much stronger than usual and I thought I was going to do terrible things to you, I _wanted_ to do terrible things to you. So I took my suppressants." She had taken all her suppressants at once. Maybe it was to stop her rut or maybe it was just to stop herself. Maybe it was to save Kara. She would never know, but she did almost die. The doctor chalked it up to an accident, but sometimes Alex could see the disappointment in her mother's eyes as she realized Alex had tried to kill herself. But, Alex was such a failure, she could not even do that right.

"Alex, it wasn't your fault. I think that might have been the first time I…" Kara swallowed hard. "The first time I sex pollen-ed you."

It added up if Kara was right about when she first dosed Alex, as it delayed her leaving for college for almost a week. It did not matter, though. "It doesn't matter! I should have better control! I never should've dragged you into this!"

Kara hugged Alex close. "You didn't drag me into this. Alex, I've been attracted to you since I first started noticing people as more than just people, as I went through puberty and started to have urges. I guess it didn't help that I was on my way there when I arrived on this planet. It was a little confusing because on Krypton, again, we only have the two sexes and most of the time you're attracted to the opposite sex. Earth is confusing and you were confusing, but my body and heart knew. The bond I feel for you has always been so far beyond any I've known. I don't even know if there are words for it and I feel like you feel the same."

Alex shook her head. "Kara, you can't. We can't."

Kara gave her a small smile. "I do and technically it is your fault because you're made of awesome. You've always been here for me and I know you're always going to be here for me. I don't trust anyone on the same level as I do you. I love you so much, Alex. I'm in love with you and I have been for a long time. I need you to understand you didn't make me do anything. I wanted this as much as you did. I showed up with an experimental kryptonite cuff for crying out loud. Well, I had to go get the cuff, but you get what I mean."

Alex sniffled again and as the words washed over her, she felt a little better. She had not forced Kara into this. Kara wanted her as much as she wanted Kara and for just as long. "You did. Did you know you released this pollen around me?"

Kara nodded. "Yeah, but I didn't think it affected you. I mean, as far as I could tell, it never affected you and I can't turn it off."

"No, it actually explains a lot." Alex rubbed her head. Her ruts were always the worst when she was around Kara before they started. She learned to avoid Kara for a few days before her rut, but sometimes she did not do what was best for her, especially if Kara really wanted to do sister-night.

"I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble," Kara mumbled, sounding like the shy teenager she once was. Whenever she used to do anything embarrassing or misunderstood something, she always apologized for causing Alex any trouble.

"You don't have to be sorry. It's my fault." She was supposed to watch out for Kara and take care of her. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't be attracted to you, Kara. You're my little sister."

Kara scoffed and pulled Alex to her. She must have taken off the cuff, as it was way too easy for her to move Alex. The alpha inside Alex, beaten and worn as it was, protested at being cradled like a baby, but Alex needed the contact, so she simply tucked herself closer to Kara.

"I had very little family, even on Krypton. Kal-El and I were the only children. Now, I know he's not my sibling, but I love my little cousin to death. What I feel for you is different than what I feel for him. I watched my mother and aunt, twins for crying out loud, for my whole time I was with them and I know their relationship was very much different than ours. This love I feel for you… it's like nothing I've ever experienced and I want everything with you. I've always wanted everything with you. Why do you think I moved to this stupid city?"

"The international choice cuisine?" Alex's heart was not in that joke, but she felt like it was necessary. This was too much. It was all too much and it was out there and she was not sure how to survive it.

Kara grinned. "Okay, that is a bonus and it definitely makes the city less stupid, but this would've been way too overwhelming for me. I used to wonder how Kal-El survived in Metropolis. There everything is constant, never ending. But, for me, you're here and you make it all worth it."

Alex could not even look at Kara, but she managed a question. "Are you sure?"

"As sure as my body has been for years. I love you, Alex, and I want to spend my life with you."

Alex sighed. "I love you, too…"

"But?"

"You're my sister."

"No, I'm an alien from another world who lived in your house, under your protection for my teenage years. Yes, we're close, but we're not blood-related. I'm not trying to downplay our relationship, Alex. The circumstances that connect us are the ones bonding us together. If this is too much for you, we can put it aside. I've always been happy to simply be around you." Kara caressed her cheek.

Alex wanted to say they should forget about this, leave it aside and go back to their normal lives, but that was impossible. She had tasted the forbidden fruit. Her next rut would be the death of her if she could not have this again, especially if Kara was going to continue smelling that way around her. Beyond that, Kara was right.

Alex did not have much family to speak of. Before Kara, it was just her and her parents. She had friends, though. When Kara first arrived, they thought she was weird, of course, but as time went by they thought Alex was sort of weird, too, for how close she was with Kara. There had been jokes about Kara having a crush on her or her having a crush on Kara. She quelled those with anger and violence. In college, also, roommates and friends joked about her relationship with Kara. It seemed the world thought their relationship was not quite sisterly. It never really felt sisterly to her, either. It was just something her mother told her every chance she got, just like she repeatedly told Alex to protect Kara and look out for her. Her mother had not been wrong on the latter two, so why would she be wrong on the former?

"Kara, I don't want to take advantage of you," Alex said.

"You're not. I'm not the scared, naive little alien girl who first arrived on the planet, Alex. I've met tons of humans and aliens alike. I've got friends from all over. No one has ever meant the same to me as you do and no one has ever made me feel the way you do."

Kara sounded so convinced while Alex felt like she could crumble inside all over again. She had spent so many years running from these feelings, so many years feeling dirty and ashamed over these feelings, and so many years trying to drown these emotions with every vice imaginable. She could not just do a complete 180, even though her life would never be the same after this.

Alex took a deep breath. "I need to take this slow." _Oh, yeah, you say that now after you've fucked her every way possible for the past two days_.

With a small smile, Kara stroked her cheek again. "We can go as slow as you like. I just need you to know that you're everything to me and your feelings matter. We can do whatever you want."

"Okay." Alex swallowed down a request to be released. She knew it was just her inner alpha. She was not supposed to be held. She was supposed to hold, but right now, being held was the only thing keeping her from falling apart.

She was not sure how long they stayed there, on the floor, cuddled close. Alex just knew it would take more time to come to grips with this, but she would. There was no going back, not after Kara's confession, not after sleeping together. And, she wanted to press forward.

-8-8-8-8-

Vasquez watched as Agent Danvers worked with an odd smile on her face. Yesterday, the agent had missed an entire day, which was beyond weird. She did not approach the agent, but she could not help calling Lucy.

"Agent Danvers is at work, smiling. What do you think it means?" Vasquez asked as she tucked herself in a corner for some privacy.

"I think it means she'll be fine from now on and you won't have to spar with her to get her through her ruts, but that doesn't mean I don't want to see you spar with her sometime," Lucy replied.

Vasquez accepted that. It was something to look forward to. So, she left Agent Danvers smiling down her microscope and went about her business.

-8-8-8-8-

The End.

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this story. If you like my work, please, go check out my books on Amazon under the name of S. L. Kassidy. Back to my padded cell with me. Thanks again.


	2. The Plunge

I don't own these characters; DC does.

A/N: so, I decided to continue the story. I have two more chapters planned after this one, but I haven't started writing them yet. Reminder this is an A/B/O story.

Thanks to my two betas: Kylie and TBev.

Public Service Announcement: first, there's no Vasquez in this chapter. She's mentioned, but doesn't show up. Second, there's a lot more storyline here and a lot less sex than the first chapter. Third, I have no idea where this story would fit in the show's timeline, so let's just say it's after season 1, but before season 2 and Kara never found He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Please, enjoy.

2: The Plunge

A week had past since Alex's rut and she felt like the haze of desire had finally lifted from her entire form. Any other time, that would have been a blessing, but it allowed for something substantially heavier to settle on her already weighted shoulders. It gnawed at her, pushed her deeper into herself than ever before. There were precious moments she feared she could be lost in a world of darkness, buried in a void within her own soul, and then she would see the sun in the form of Kara's smile. Somehow, even that light could be devoured by the thing inside of her, the black hole threatening to destroy every bit of her as it reminded her how horrible she truly was and would always be.

"Alex, you okay?" The sound of Kara's voice jolted Alex out of her own head.

Alex flinched and blinked. "Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine." That sounded jumpy, even to her own ears. It did not help that Kara could hear her heartbeat, which refused to go at its usual rhythm no matter how much she tried to will it so.

Kara looked at her with a little pout, possibly disappointed in the obvious lie. "You wanna watch something else? You usually like catching up on _Grey's Anatomy_ and pointing out everything inaccurate with it or if they did a good job with something."

Alex glanced at the television. Was that what they were watching? She was not sure she paid enough attention to anything since she came in. It had been that way for the past few days. Her thoughts consumed her, haunted her, surrounded and lay siege to her. Was she doing something wrong? Had she taken advantage of Kara? Kara could be confused about the way she felt about Alex.

Kara sighed and plucked at her Batman, of all things, t-shirt. They were both in pajamas, but Alex was not sure if she would spend the night. She had not been able to collect herself to do so in the past few days, even though Kara seemed to want her to do so. "Alex, do you not want to do this?"

"Watch _Grey's Anatomy_? This was my pick." At least Alex thought this was her pick. She liked the drama and medical procedure and it had just enough soap opera romance to keep Kara's attention.

Kara leveled a dull look at her. "No, not watch _Grey's Anatomy_. I mean, this." She motioned between them. "Us." Her voice cracked a little.

Alex blinked again and her stomach dropped into an abyss. _Oh_. Kara did not want to do this. So, she had taken advantage of Kara and Kara realized it now. Of course Kara realized it. Kara was beyond intelligent. Hell, she came from a race of super intelligent beings. Why would Kara want to be with her? This was wrong. Kara knew it was wrong.

"If you don't want this, Alex, that's fine. I'm happy to just be around you," Kara said with a strained smile that did not quite reach her beautiful blue eyes, which glistened a little.

Alex's mind whirled and she shook her head slightly. "I'm sorry, what? If I don't want this?" Was Kara trying to put this on her?

Kara chewed her bottom lip a little and looked so cute, but distressed. "It's just… You've been spacey, mentally and physically." She motioned to the amount of couch between them.

Alex was practically on the other end of the sofa. They had never had so much space between them when they were alone, except for recently. She had done that, not just now, but the past few days. She had sat down completely opposite Kara when they agreed to watch television. It was supposed to be sisters' night. Their first since before her rut and all she could think about was how she had taken advantage of Kara. _And isn't it weird to have a sisters' night after what we did?_

"Like I said, I'm happy to just be around you. I don't know if my mating secretions will stop, but it should be on pause for a little while at least," Kara continued on.

"Kara, what do you want? Do you want this?" Alex inquired, surprised her voice held out enough to ask the question. She swallowed, throat tight. An arctic chill ran through her body as she considered Kara's answer and Kara's thoughts. How would she be able to live with herself if Kara felt like she had taken advantage of Kara, especially knowing she was Kara's first? _Seppuku might be my only answer eventually_.

Blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears and Alex felt like the greatest asshole of all time. How dare she hurt sunshine personified? Her mother was right to lock her away in her own room when she presented. She should have left well enough alone.

"I want you to be okay with this. If you're not, I'm fine with just being around you. I was happy with how we were before. Sure, my body was a little crazy, but I'm sure we can do something about that. You're smart. You can fix me!" Kara looked a little too bright, her hope a little too forced.

Alex's brow furrowed at those words. "Fix you? There's nothing wrong with you! It's me. I'm the broken one. I took advantage of you." She had always been the broken one and now she had infected Kara with her loathsomeness. _I hope you're proud of yourself_. The words were spat in her own head.

Kara's face scrunched up and she shifted on the sofa, gripping the top of the couch. "You took advantage of me? Do you still think that?" Blonde waves sparkled as she shook her head. "Alex, I wanted to be with you. I've been…" She groaned as she glared at the ceiling for a long moment. "I've been sex-pollening you for years! I mean, I don't think you understand what that means and I don't know enough about human sex stuff to give you a proper equivalent. But, come on, mates." Kara motioned between them with one hand. "Kryptonian bond-mates and Earth mate-mates."

Alex gnawed on the corner of her bottom lip. "Are you sure this is what you want?" She could not imagine any world where someone like Kara wanted someone like her. Why would the sun want to be near a black hole?

Kara leaned forward, pressing her palms against the cushion between them. "Yes. I want to be with you. I want to date you. I want to be your mate. I don't know how else to put it. It just seems like you don't want that."

"No, I do!" Alex said much too quickly. She took a breath, but it did nothing to settle her. It was like butterflies lived in her stomach and chest now. Could Kara hear them fluttering about, choking her? "I do. I just want to make sure it's what you want. You're not doing this because of me and my rut or even because of the sex pollen."

"No! If anything, I started…" Kara groaned, hitting her head against the top of the sofa. "Do we have to call it pollen? I'm not a plant." She pouted, bottom lip poked out and everything.

Alex shrugged. "You go through photosynthesis and you're secreting a fine powder meant to cause fertilization. It's pollen. The only difference here is that you're a female pollinating."

Kara's mouth twisted up. "It's not pollen, even though that was a really good description of it. But, it tends to start because we're around a person who stimulates us in several different ways and the combination starts a chemical reaction inside of us. You've always been kind to me and you're just so amazing." She sighed and smiled.

Alex sat up a little taller without even thinking about it. Pride never failed to fill her whenever Kara complimented her. She wanted to be good for Kara, even if they were not in a romantic relationship. She wanted to make sure Kara was protected and loved and could live the best life she could on Earth.

"Okay, so I caused the pollen, not the pollen causing you to want me?" Alex asked.

"No, the pollen is supposed to communicate to you that I want you and tell you that you've started this change in me. Part of it, yes, is trying to entice you into being with me. But, if you didn't feel the same way, if I didn't cause something to stir in you, the pollen shouldn't even register to you," Kara reminded her.

Alex blew out a breath. That pollen would be the thing to drive her out of her mind. The pollen was not necessary. Alex was not sure when it happened, but she was so deep in love with Kara, she would not be surprised if she had hearts in her eyes whenever she looked at Kara. The pollen only made her hormones more impossible when her rut came into play.

Kara threw out her hands, mistaking Alex's silence for something else. "But, I'm not saying the pollen takes away your free will or anything!" Her shoulders slumped in defeat. "You don't want me, do you?"

Alex moved, hating the disappointed moue on Kara's face. She put her hand on Kara's bare knee, not too sure if this was a good hug moment. The simple contact did some many things for her, though. It halted the abyss swallowing her whole and let some light in. Kara looked at her with big, wet blue eyes.

"Of course I want you! I've wanted you for so long, but I don't want mess things up. I don't want to mess you up. I'm supposed to look out for you," Alex replied.

"You do look out for me. Why do you think if we do this you wouldn't be looking out for me? You're not taking advantage of me. I'm not the same scared, naive thirteen year old who landed on a strange planet. I know a few things, you know?" Kara smiled at her.

Alex tried to smile, but it would not come. Deep down, she knew Kara was right. But, it was hard to get over years of programing, years of convincing herself it was wrong to feel this way. Not to mention, the years of convincing herself this would never happen. And, the icing on the struggle-cake was her own demons, which would always claw at her soul.

Kara fiddled with her fingers. "You think I'm some naive kid still?"

"It's not that. You're right. You're right."

"So… We're a couple still? Like eventually gonna be mates?" Kara's smile beamed so brightly Alex felt the urge to look away, but knew that would not make things any better.

"Yes," Alex answered. That was what she wanted. She loved Kara with all her heart, but this still felt wrong for some reason. She had to do something about this or she would go out of her mind and hurt Kara in the process.

"Then… can we cuddle like we usually do?" Kara asked.

Alex sighed like this was so great burden, but opened her arms. Kara was in her grip before she even realized the blond moved. As soon as Kara settled against her, Alex felt part of her calm down, but her mind continued to whirl and another part of her buzzed with quivering, nervous energy. This felt so right, but so wrong at the same time. She did not know how to deal with it, but she needed to learn how.

"You want to stay the night?" Kara asked as the episode of _Grey's Anatomy_ finished.

Alex's stomach dropped into her feet. She would love nothing more than to stay the night, but a dark dread clutched her entire body. It was one thing to have her rut clouding her mind as she slept next to Kara, it was another thing to do it with simple couple expectations between them.

"It's all right if you don't," Kara said, her voice soft. "I just want you to know whenever you're ready for it, my bed is open to you and it could just be for sleep. No rush for anything."

Alex could only nod. Kara could sense her reluctance, but she warned Kara going in that she needed time to adjust. It was nice of Kara to acknowledge and give her that time.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara sighed as Alex left her apartment for the night. It was odd to go from the two days they had nonstop sex to now barely touching. She understood Alex needed time to adjust and she refused to push, especially knowing Alex had almost died from the idea of them when she was a teenager. Still, it was hard for her, too.

With Alex acknowledging their bond, Kara was ready for it all, more than happy to give herself to Alex and then build a mate relationship. She had pined for Alex for years, after all. But, her love for Alex and her care and worry over Alex's wellbeing was more than enough for her to wait.

"I just hope I don't have to wait too long," Kara said as she went to clean up after them. There was not much to pick up, as Alex never left without clearing up anything around her. She was not sure if Alex did that from her DEO training or it was something she picked up in college. She was not like that as a teen. No, Alex was not messy, but she would not tidy up like she did now.

She shook the thoughts away. She would let Alex consume her if she let her mind wander and she was not in the mood for that. As she climbed into bed, she thought about what she might be able to do to help Alex get comfortable with the idea of them and for Alex to understand she wanted Alex in every way possible.

"What if I got her a present?" Kara rubbed her chin, already thinking about the things she could buy for Alex. None of them were romantic. "Is Alex even a romantic type?"

Going through her memories, Kara could not think of any time Alex showed an inkling of being romantic. Alex barely talked about being with anyone or in a relationship. But, what if Alex was not romantic because she not particularly attached to her partners? After all, Alex was affected by Kara. She had just fought it, fought them being mates because she thought it was wrong.

"We are not wrong," Kara said, grabbing her laptop with the hope of finding a gift. The first things she looked at were bracelets. She quickly clicked away from those. "No, no, no. It's way too soon to think about bonding bracelets. Alex can barely touch me right now."

She wanted to get Alex something to remind Alex how close they were, but also something that allowed Alex to relax about them a little. Jewelry would not cut it. For a moment, she played with the idea of buying Alex chemicals. No, that was not very romantic, but Alex would love it. And, it was from that thought that _it_ hit her. She knew exactly what she wanted to give Alex.

With that in mind, she went to sleep with a smile on her face, distantly listening to Alex's heartbeat. It sounded as nervous as before. One day, she hoped she could rest of her head on Alex's chest and listen to a calm heartbeat and let it soothe her to sleep, like when they were teenagers or before they slept together.

The next day, Kara gathered the data she wanted, put it on a flash drive, and then rushed to Alex, all on her lunch break. It was hard to fight down her giddiness, feeling like she had the perfect present. Alex was staring down her microscope and jotting down notes without looking at her notepad. The sight made Kara's heart melt as it reminded her of teenage Alex. When they were younger, Alex would do her homework while listening to music, watching television, and reading a book. She was a master at dividing her attention.

"Hey, Alex," Kara said, in her Supergirl uniform.

Alex did not seem surprised by her presence, which did not shock Kara. In fact, it made Kara feel a little light inside. If Alex could sense her presence, it meant they were linked, they had a bond. It could live and grow as long as Alex allowed it to do so.

"Kara, what are you doing here?" Alex asked.

Kara smiled. "I have a gift for you and I was hoping we could grab lunch." Lunch was always a good thing to her and she would love to go on something like a date with Alex.

"Lunch?" Alex glanced over at the clock. "Oh, wow. I didn't realize it was so late."

"Yeah, so lunch?" Kara asked again with a grin and a bounce in her step.

Alex groaned and shook her head. "No, I'm on the brink of a breakthrough, Kara. Sorry."

Kara pouted before she realized it, but when she did realize it, she put on her best pout. Yes, she would be _that_ girlfriend. She was already that sister.

"Aw, don't pout like that. I've really got a lot of work to do," Alex replied, looking away.

"But, I brought you a gift and I want to take you on a date," Kara said.

Alex went stiff at that and Kara could hear the spike in her heartbeat. Why did she have that reaction? Just because Kara used the word date? _We have a really long way to go if the word "date" is too much for her_.

"Kara, you didn't have to get me a gift," Alex said.

Kara smiled and reached for Alex, grabbing her hand. Alex pulled back, but only a little. There was no one in the lab and she left her fingertips in Kara's grip. It was a small thing, but it was enough for now.

"I wanted to get you something you'd like, so I got you this." Kara held up the flash drive.

Alex's brow furrowed. "What's this?"

"You'll see." Kara bounced on her heels again. She knew Alex would love it, as it was a detailed catalogue of Kryptonian biology. Yes, Alex was already an expert, but there were things on there she did not know, including Kryptonian mating secretions. "So, about lunch?" She bounced even more.

Alex sighed. "I really don't have time. I'm sorry."

"Is it because I called it a date?" Kara asked.

"No!" Alex replied way too quickly for that to be the truth. "I just have a lot of work to do here." She made it a point to look around the lab.

Kara nodded. _Don't push. Give her time_. "Okay. Um… can we get lunch sometime this week, though? It'll be fun. You can watch me eat all the sticky buns at Noonan's."

Alex chuckled. "Sounds like an average day for us, then."

Kara grinned. "That's what'll make it awesome." She needed Alex to understand and see their dates could be like their normal days. There was nothing to fear from them going on a date, nothing to fear from them being in a bonding relationship. They were practically already there!

Alex gave her a small smile. "Okay, but not today. I have to get this work done."

Kara accepted that, even though she could tell Alex was not being entirely truthful. The work could probably wait, but Alex used it as an excuse. Kara felt hope, though. Alex agreed to go out with her sometime soon and understood it to be a date. This could help Alex get more comfortable with the idea of them. She would take it.

-8-8-8-8-

A day after Kara visited Alex at work, Alex found herself out for lunch. She tapped her fingers against the table in the back of the cafe. This felt like a bad idea and the low murmuring from the scattered patrons did nothing to drown out the feeling. Besides, it was the only idea she had. Well, there was also the idea of talking to Clark, but she was not his biggest fan and she worried he might punch her into the sun if he even suspected she touched his cousin an unholy manner. She did not have long to fret over it as Lucy flopped into the seat in front of her.

"I want to say this is a surprise, but lunch as a thanks really isn't and this cafe is cute," Lucy said with a smile, leaning forward onto the polished black table.

Alex arched an eyebrow. "A thanks?"

"Yes, a thanks. I called Kara, after all." Lucy sat up straight, utterly proud of herself.

Alex frowned. Yes, she knew Lucy called Kara. What she did not know was the reasoning behind it. Had Lucy noticed her feelings for Kara? She felt like she had gotten quite good at hiding it. Kara never noticed. Her mother never said anything about it, even stopped giving her suspicious glances after a while. Everyone who had ever met them thought they were the closest of sisters. So, how did Lucy know?

Lucy studied her and rubbed her palms together briefly. "This is not a 'thank you' lunch. Fine, can we still get lunch?"

Alex waved the question off. She did not care if Lucy got everything on the menu as long as she answered some questions. "How do you even know?"

"That it's not a 'thank you' lunch? Your face is way too scrunched up by my suggestion of this being thanks for it to be thanks. You can't be looking for pointers from me. I mean, I'm not sure how aliens work, but I feel like Kara is not an omega," Lucy replied.

Alex blinked. It had never occurred to her that Kara might be an omega, but the concept made her twitch. She fought the urge to cross her legs and kept herself calm. _Stop being gross_. Now was not the time to get lost in silly fantasies and it had little to do with being in a public place and not wanting to get a boner in front of Lane. It was more to do with the idea that she still felt wrong for fantasizing about Kara. She was not supposed to think about Kara in anything beyond a PG manner.

Lucy tilted her head. "That's not what you're looking for either. I think we should order lunch and then we can talk."

Alex sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Yeah, let's do that." She would need something in her stomach to have this discussion. Beyond how Lucy knew to direct Kara toward her, Alex wanted advice. Lucy did not seem grossed out about her and Kara, so maybe she could help her deal with the idea of being a couple with Kara and help her understand why she did not have a problem with it. Lucy should have, in theory, been utterly disgusted by her.

Lucy waved the waiter over. They ordered drinks. Alex resisted the urge to get hard liquor, but some vodka in her strawberry lemonade was tempting. It just would not do well to drink in front of a higher ranking officer. They studied the menus as they waited for their drinks, but Alex could almost hear the wheels in Lucy's head turning. Alex found she would rather be under heavy fire than sitting across from Lucy all of a sudden.

"You know, I just remembered I have a—" Alex did not even get a chance to get it out and she barely moved from the seat.

Lucy pinned Alex with the hardest look she had ever seen. In fact, Lucy could give her mother lessons in how to glare at her. Alex could not move, could only sit there, practically at attention. Lucy chuckled a bit.

"I hope that's not why you and Vas get along," Lucy said.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"I give her that look and she freezes just like you did."

"Well, to be fair, that look is fucking terrifying." Alex would bet money that look got Vasquez going.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Considering the people and things I've seen you stare down, I can't believe you actually think that. Now, Danvers, you called me here for a reason. What's the problem? I figured everything would be good with you. Vas saw you actually smiling at work a few days ago."

That was undoubtedly before she came to her senses. She had been on a high from sleeping with Kara through her rut for a few days, but like all highs, eventually she came down. She crashed really. Crashed, burned, and created a crater, but she could not show that. She did not want to worry Kara, but obviously she had not been doing the best job at hiding her concern.

"Did you know?" Alex asked as calm and composed as she could manage. She was pleased that she sounded normal, unaffected. Too bad they both knew that was a lie.

"You need to be a little more specific. Did I know what?" Lucy replied with an arched eyebrow.

Alex took a breath. That was a good question. What did she want to know? "Did you know why my rut was so bad? Is that why you called Kara?" That seemed like a good start.

Lucy sat back in her chair and studied Alex for a second. "Do you mean did I know you had a thing for Kara or did I know Kara had a thing for you?"

Alex took a second, eyebrows curling up. "Um… that second one."

"That one was fairly easy. Even if I didn't have some working knowledge of…" Lucy glanced around. The cafe was not particularly busy, but she shook her head. "We'll call them puppies for now. Heaven knows they pout like puppies. Anyway, if I didn't have some knowledge of them, I wouldn't have been able to figure it out. She was the only one you were around and you were in a bad way and you kept admitting she was the only one you were around, denying you met someone who could've twisted you in knots like that."

Alex scowled. She was not too sure what she told Lucy during her rut. She was more concerned with trying not to go out of her mind.

"But, you know about puppies doing that thing?" Alex inquired. She had opened Kara's gift to her, but did not study much about the "sex pollen" thing. She was too nervous, so instead she enjoyed all of the other fascinating knowledge of Kryptonian biology that she did not know about. She would have to go back and study more, build on the research she had, and revamp her understanding of other things.

Lucy nodded and paused as their drinks were brought over. They ordered food. Alex was a little surprised when Lucy ordered fish and chips. Lucy smirked at her.

"It's a good thing you're not a spy. You wear your emotions right on your face. You think I don't eat fried foods or grease?" Lucy asked.

"Not with that figure," Alex replied, not bothering to correct Lucy about her emotions. When she wanted to, she was beyond hard to read. Stoic and aloof were her default settings.

Lucy laughed. "At least you're not all sexist about it. Alphas like to assume omegas don't eat and they're always on a diet or something."

Alex shook her head. "No. I'm just not sure when you would get time to workout, so I figured you must just eat well." Lucy being an assistant director at the DEO meant a lot of paperwork and arguing with Washington idiots. It did not lend much time to exercising, unless pacing counted.

"Most of the time, I do, but this seems like a conversation where I can treat myself. What about you? What healthy food are you about to eat? Beyond your working out, I know you have to eat healthy because you're a scientist."

Alex snorted. "I have to eat whatever I can. Food doesn't last for long around Kara. Whenever I go out, I treat myself because I don't have to share." She got a burger with the works and sweet potato fries. She would not be surprised if Kara suddenly appeared before her when the food showed up with a sweet smile, begging for fries.

"Oh, you almost had it. Sweet potato fries." Lucy shook her head as if she were disappointed.

"Kara inhales them, like potstickers. I haven't eaten more than one sweet potato fry in years. Years and I'm not speaking hyperbolically," Alex replied. And that was really the thing. She was not so hooked on sweet potato fries, but she would really like to be able to eat some without big blue eyes entreating her for the basket.

Lucy blew out a breath. "I can't even begin to imagine. Now, what were we talking about? Oh, the things that puppies do. I know about it because of Lois. She really needed to talk about it and Clark didn't exactly know what was going on at first."

Alex's brow furrowed. "What did she need to talk about?" And leave it to Clark to be useless in his girlfriend's time of need. Good thing he could save the world.

"Her heat. Now, you need to know, Lois and I aren't close like you and Kara where we have sister nights or talk all the time or things like that. We definitely don't talk about our sex lives. She likes to be the big sister and check in on if I'm in a relationship and we might even talk about dating, but never sex. When it started happening with Clark, her heats were crazy and she was really worried."

Alex could feel her face shift in realization. "Oh, she's an omega, too." That made sense to a degree, she supposed. She remembered how happy Kara was that their "parts matched." Kryptonians did not have the same variety as humans, so Clark, as a male Kryptonian would have a penis. Lois' personality always screamed alpha, but then again, so did Lucy's and Lucy had no problem letting people know she was an omega. Her mere existence fought against omega stereotypes.

"Yes, she's an omega, too. Funny enough, this never bothered our father, just like us being female never bothered him. You'd think a macho guy like him would care, but nope. Anyway, Lois' heats were crazy and she didn't understand why. She went to the doctor and everything, but the doctor said everything looked normal. She was a little scared and she wanted to know if I ever felt like that, like I was going to claw myself out of my skin during a heat," Lucy explained.

Alex knew that feeling all too well. So many of her ruts put her on the verge of tearing her flesh from her bone for some relief. The feeling was Kara, Kara calling out for her, Kara crying for her touch, and she had ignored it until last week.

"How did she figure out it was because of Clark?" Alex asked.

Lucy shook her head. "He figured it out. He was worried about her and thought it might be something to do with him and… being a puppy. Turns out it was him and being a puppy. She explained to me just so I didn't think there was something wrong with her, as I was trying to figure out why her heats were so strong all of a sudden. I also didn't want it to happen to me. A heat is already inconvenient without wondering if I'm going to throw myself out of window to make it stop."

Alex nodded. Most of her ruts were like that, even with suppressants. "So, you figured my rut was so bad because I was around a puppy?"

"Obviously. I'm surprised you didn't know since you are an expert on puppies."

Alex scratched her cheek. "Kara never told me about it and I've never really taken the time to study reproduction and such with the puppies." Would she ever stop being anxious about it?

"Too tempting?" Lucy's smirk was teasing, but still Alex shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Um… never mind." It was embarrassing for Lucy to know this much about her. They were not really friends. _Why did I think this was a good idea?_ She moved, ready to stand and leave.

"Alex, wait." Lucy held up one hand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll take this seriously. I didn't know you were so sensitive about it, but I guess that explains why your rut was so bad in the first place. I would've thought you two would've gotten together a long time ago if you're both attracted to each other."

Alex sighed, sat back in her seat, and ran a hand through her hair. "It's not that simple."

Lucy's face scrunched up. "You mean it wasn't that simple."

"No. It isn't." She eyed the floor for a long moment. Life was never that simple, especially for her. There was always so much baggage. _Why would Kara want to be with someone who has so many hang-ups?_

Lucy frowned, causing a wrinkle to appear in the middle of her forehead. "You're still having issues? Why? I mean, you got the girl. This is usually the part where the hero rides off into the sunset or whatever."

"It's not that simple. I mean, we're sisters."

Lucy shook her head and her face remained slightly twisted. "Foster sisters. You're not related. Hell, Kara calls your mother by her first name."

Alex glanced around before leaning forward on her elbows. "You don't think it's weird?"

Lucy scoffed and brushed the question off. "I'm sure foster siblings fall for each other all the time. There's probably TV shows about it. Why would it be weird? It's no weirder than people who stay married to their high school sweethearts."

Alex squinted as she tried to figure how being foster siblings was anything like being high school sweethearts. As smart as she was, nothing came to mind. "I'm not following."

Lucy grabbed the salt and pepper shakers, as if she needed visuals for the explanation. "You and Kara met when you were teenagers, right?" She pushed the two shakers close together, but there was still a little space between them. "Your feelings probably started to develop then." She slowly pushed the two together until they touched. "And then before you knew it, you both fell in love. If she didn't live in the house with you, you definitely would've been high school crushes, maybe even high school sweethearts."

"But, we did grow up in the same house." One of the things that disturbed her the most was that she could develop these sorts of emotions for someone who lived in her house, someone she called "sister." Surely there was something wrong with her, even if she and Kara were not truly related.

Lucy shook her head. "No, you didn't." Before she got a chance to explain, the waiter returned with their food. She picked up a fry and nibbled while Alex seemed to sit in awe of her own food. "Alex, are you—?" She did not get a chance to finish the question.

Alex held up one finger. "Shh." She listened for the whizzing sound of Kara moving at super speed. She heard nothing. She was actually about to enjoy sweet potato french fries for the first time in who knew how long. She groaned as she bit into one.

"Is it really that good?" Lucy asked.

"Not really, but the satisfaction of being able to eat them is beyond anything." She preferred regular fries, but wanted to eat healthy, and she was certain Kara would appear before her if she had regular fries in front of her. Kara once showed up when she had a basket of steak cut fries with just the right seasonings while she was in another country. "Now, you were saying I didn't grow up in the same house as Kara, but I did."

Lucy actually blew a raspberry at that. "You didn't. I grew up in the same house as Lois. You were halfway grown up by the time Kara shows up. Again, with you two, it was like meeting in high school. It's not the same thing." She cut up bits of her fish.

"You just said Kara and I are closer than you and Lois."

"You are." Lucy shrugged, as if it was no big deal. "You're closer than a lot of siblings I know, but that doesn't mean anything. Lois and Clark are closer than some siblings I know. It just depends on what kind of couple you are and how you get along. Anyway, if you weren't foster sisters, again, you'd be each other's high school crushes. You make it seem like you probably would've gotten together if you weren't foster sisters."

Alex sighed and put ketchup and mayo on her burger. Again, she waited and listened. Kara did not show up. She might actually get to enjoy her meal without having to share. It was a rare moment indeed.

"Do you listen out for Kara at every meal?" Lucy asked with a craned eyebrow.

"Not every one. This one she might show up because she knows you and you know what she can do."

Lucy nodded. "And if she showed up, you'd just surrender your fries?"

"Of course." She had been trained to do it, even though she tended to do it to make Kara feel good or because she had no defense against Kara's pout.

Lucy clicked her tongue. "See, that's gross couple behavior, not sibling behavior. A proper older sibling either never surrenders food or at least makes the younger sibling work for it through insults, teasing, or tasks. Or you do it because your parents used to force you to get the younger kid to stop whining. The things you do for Kara always have a ring of girlfriend to it."

Alex's mouth twisted to the side. "I'm supposed to protect Kara in every way possible."

Lucy smiled. "I wish I had someone so devoted to me for so long."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She did not come here for abuse.

"It's a little funny to see and talk about. I mean, you don't even realize it at this point, do you? How did you even get to this point?" Lucy asked, her eyes full of wonder. Apparently, she was not teasing.

Taking a bite of her burger to stall at first, Alex moaned when the flavor danced on her tongue. It was so good and it was all hers. "I wasn't always like this with Kara. I mean, not with sharing the food and everything. When she first came, I was a little resentful. I felt like she was stealing my parents, my mother especially. And all I heard for a long time was how I needed to take care of Kara. It pissed me off for a hot minute."

"Selfish teenager mode." Lucy took a healthy bite of her fish and then shoved a couple of fries in her mouth to chase it down.

Alex nodded and let loose a long breath. "Yeah, but then I'd see her when she was sad and I couldn't help but hurt for her. I mean, I remember when my grandmother died and how hurt I was. She had lost an entire planet and the only family she had left, he left her with us. She didn't know us. Hell, she didn't even know this planet. It was all too easy to make her want to feel better."

A small smile lit up Lucy's face. "Plus, the puppy thing."

"Yes, there is the puppy factor, too. It was a little harder outside because I wanted to be a cool kid. It's hard to be a cool kid when you have the weird kid glued to your ass. For a while, I'd see or hear people making fun of her and I just let it happen, but each time, it twisted me up inside a little more, especially since I knew she could hear it. Like she knew they were being assholes to her and she knew I wasn't doing anything about it. I felt like an ass."

Lucy's smile grew. "You're a good person, Alex." She sounded a little surprised, but Alex decided to let it slide. They did not know each other too well and Lucy knew more about her badass side than anything else.

Alex waved that off. "I was a stupid teenager. One day, I just didn't like it anymore. I couldn't take it anymore. Kara was having a hard enough time as it was and she didn't have any friends beyond me and everyone was being mean to her. So, one day, this kid was bullying her…"

"You kicked him in the scrotum," Lucy guessed.

Alex chuckled. "Close. I wanted everyone to know I was really serious, so it was more of a punch."

Lucy tittered, eyes alight with amusement. "Nothing says leave my sister alone like a punch to the balls."

"I thought so."

"What got you to that point, though?"

Alex blew out a breath and ran her hand through her hair. "Beyond just not liking a bully, I heard every single day that I had to protect my sister."

"Who told you that?"

"My mother. Every moment she could, she told me I had to protect my sister. I had to watch out for my sister. I had to make sure my sister was okay." Alex's eyes drifted down to her burger and she ate some of it with the hope the sound of her chewing would drown out the sound of her mother in the back of her mind. She was such a disgrace for doing this. Kara was supposed to be her sister. _You don't sleep with your sister_.

Lucy scowled a little. "Those were the words she used every time she wanted you to look out for Kara?"

"Yes."

"Hmm… that's a little weird."

Alex shook her head. "I think my mother said it so much to make sure we never slipped in our stories. We had it hammered into our heads that we were sisters. She didn't want to take the chance we might give Kara away." Well, that was what she thought at first. After a while, she thought the constant reminder of being sisters was for something else and she refused to consider things beyond that most of the time.

Lucy tilted her head. "You're uncomfortable, aren't you?"

"What, right now?" Alex felt like she was pretty good considering she getting grilled by Lucy Lane.

"Well, yes, right now, but with Kara. You're so used to the sister role that was hammered into your head that you're uncomfortable now because that role changed."

Alex was silent for a moment. She was not sure if she was uncomfortable with the role changed. She was uncomfortable in general, but she always felt like that went with her own flaws. She never felt good enough and there were so many times she felt out of sorts just from existing.

"Is that what this is really about, Alex? Is that why you and Kara danced around each other instead of just going for it like your bodies were demanding?" Lucy asked.

"My hormones don't control me," Alex replied. She was always in control, not her rut, not her inner alpha, and definitely not her hormones.

Lucy pointed at her with her fork before using it to eat more of her meal. "No, they don't. You have excellent self-control, but isn't it also self-punishment to deny yourself someone you want, especially when that person wants you back?"

Alex frowned. "That person is my sister."

"Your _foster_ sister and a… a puppy," Lucy replied.

"I didn't want to take advantage of her being a puppy. I still feel like I'm taking advantage of her being a puppy," Alex admitted.

Lucy scowled again and shook her head. "Okay, yes, she's a puppy, but not that much of a puppy. You can't try to protect her from life and you can't downplay her feelings, especially if she's doing that thing. Clark's head over heels for Lois and he said that's why his body reacted that way and made her body react that way. If she didn't feel as strongly for him, that thing wouldn't have affected her. Think about it, if they affected everyone, rather just the one person they really wanted, they'd have their offices following them around. Kara would have the whole damn staff at Noonan's following her around."

"But, it isn't fair. She was still new when she fell for me." She was Kara's first and Kara made it seem like she wanted her to be an only. Would Kara really accept that in the long run? Would anyone?

"Yeah, and she's not new now and still falling for you, just like you for her. She has feelings for you, Alex, real feelings that have nothing to with her being a puppy. She just shows them differently because she's a puppy. Do you have a problem with her being a puppy?"

Alex gave Lucy her own hard stare. "What? No! Of course not. That doesn't matter to me. What matters is that she's my sister and this was all new for her when she started doing that thing to me."

"Okay, again, she's not your sister. She's your foster sister and a puppy. Beyond that, has she dated before you?"

"Well, yeah." _But, I was still her first_. Part of her was horrified of this, but a much bigger part was proud and the memory of taking Kara's virginity made her twitch. _Damn arrogant inner alpha_.

"Then she's sampled the buffet and found out she still wants the first dish she had. Let it go. You're not protecting her by denying both of you. In fact, you might be killing yourself. I mean, I saw the amount of suppressants you took in that rut. I hate to think of what you've done on past ruts. This is what you both want. Why can't you just be happy?"

Alex sighed, gnawed her lip, and then decided to focus on her food for a moment, but even that tasted like ashes right now. Why could she not just be happy? Everything Lucy said was accurate. She and Kara were not actually sisters. Kara wanted her and had tried dating other people, but still wanted her. She wanted Kara. Beyond what her mother would think when she found out, this should be simple, but it was not.

"She wants to date," Alex found herself saying. In fact, she still owed Kara a lunch date and it should not feel as weird as it did. They had lunch probably hundreds of times together and nothing untoward happened. Why should this one be different? _You know why_.

Lucy gawked at her as if she was out of her mind. "Of course she wants to date. Kara looks at you like you hung the moon. Hell, you _would_ hang the moon for her. Take the girl on a date, Alex. Spoil her like you do already. Spoil her the way you would if she was your girlfriend because she wants to be your girlfriend and more if things I didn't need to know from my sister are to be believed."

"Maybe I don't know how to be happy," Alex admitted in a mumble. Had she ever been happy? Not since her father died. She did not know how to grasp moments anymore, knowing how fleeting everything was.

Lucy's eyes softened. "Maybe you should try. Not just for yourself, but that little golden retriever puppy you've got."

Alex chuckled. "She is a little golden retriever!"

"That or a cocker spaniel. I think more of a retriever because Clark is definitely a black lab. But, my point is, you can both be happy. You would love to spoil her. You already do."

Alex smiled a little. She did like spoiling Kara for the most part. It started out as just a way to make Kara feel better after losing everything, but now it made her feel better. She liked being able to take care of Kara.

"You don't think it's a little creepy?" Alex asked.

Lucy sucked her teeth. "What? She's not your sister, Alex."

"Well, I mean, like what if she was? Would I still feel this way?"

Lucy snorted. "Probably not. If you grew up as sisters, Kara would be a pain in the ass baby sister and I say that as a pain in the ass baby sister. The things you think are adorable turn into screaming I'm sick of you every other day, especially like this thing with food. If you had to give Kara your food from when she was a toddler, you'd have ripped her hair out at this point. Plus, again, it's different because you two only met when you were teens. Knowing someone from when they're a baby gives you a lot more time to be annoyed with them. Last, Kara wouldn't be a puppy if you were actually sisters."

"Well, I don't love her because she's a puppy."

"No, you love her because she's adorable. This is just complicated because she's your foster sister, but I think that just speaks to how much you love her. You lived with her, put up with all of her little quirks and still thought she was adorable. Living with someone is a good way to drive you crazy, but it drove you closer. There's nothing wrong with that."

Alex sighed again, feeling like she had sighed her heart out recently. Logically, she understood there was nothing wrong with loving Kara, wanting Kara, but her stomach still felt funny about it. She could hear her mother at the back of her mind. _She's your sister, Alex. She's your sister_. Each time she heard that, even in her own head, she felt worse and worse about the situation.

"She's my sister," Alex muttered.

Lucy reached across the table, hand on Alex's. Alex gasped, not used to being touched by people unless she initiated the contact. Lucy clutched her hand.

"Alex, you have a chance at happiness right now. You have your mate standing before you. Don't let anything stand in the way of that. Yes, you have hang-ups about it. Everyone has hang-ups, but power through them and let yourself be happy. Beyond that, take that girl on a date. Have fun. It doesn't always have to be your cross to bear."

Alex massaged her temple with one hand. "I don't think I know how."

"Learn. None of us know how to be happy at first. It's just something you learn if you think it's something worth it. Kara's worth it, right?" Lucy's voice was so gentle. Alex had no defense against it.

"Of course." Kara was always worth everything.

"It's time you start opening up to her wants and needs, beyond the protector role you've given yourself. She's an adult and she knows what she wants. The thing that she does is just her body's way of reinforcing what she's already chosen and she's chosen you. The fact that you're affected by it just means you want her, too."

Again, that was very logical. "I guess I felt blindsided by that."

Lucy scoffed and pulled back. "Who wouldn't? It's a lot from what I understand. It has to be more for you guys because you're complicated in a way Lois and Clark never have been. But, your relationship is just as valid as theirs."

Alex nodded. "Thank you."

Lucy smirked and her eyes danced with mischief. "Thank me by letting me sit in on a sparring match between you and Vasquez."

Alex groaned. "You're still on this."

Lucy lit up. "Oh, I will never _not_ be on this. I don't get enough chance to see her being all alpha-like. The very idea gives me shivers."

"Well, this is what happens when you're with an underling." From Alex's understanding, it was a little deeper than that, but she did not want to let Lucy know she knew. After all, she was very aware how embarrassing it could be for not-friends to know things even those closest to her did not know.

Rolling her eyes, Lucy scoffed. "Yeah, that's why. Anyway, you know that every relationship is different and they have obstacles to overcome. This is yours. Approach it with the same ferocity you do everything else that scares the shit out of everyone at the DEO."

Alex chuckled and sat up proud. "They are scared, aren't they?"

"Yes, which is why you have to do this. This is how you do everything. With that scary determination. I mean, you're a woman who stands up to angry puppies, fights them, and walks away."

Alex did not like to think about having faced down her fair share of aliens in the context Lucy put it because it led her to remembering one of those aliens was Kara's aunt. She had taken on Kara's family and then she had taken that from Kara. Yes, it was an accomplishment for a human to take on a Kryptonian and win, but it was another thing for a sister to take her foster sister's family from her.

"Hey, what happened? I thought this pep talk was going on good," Lucy said.

Alex shook her head. "It's fine. In fact, it's going so good, after this lunch, I'll call Kara to invite her out on a date."

"Yes, date the girl!" Lucy grinned. "Where are you going to take her?"

Alex sighed and rubbed her face. "I have no idea."

Lucy chuckled. "I have some ideas." Alex was glad one of them did. The thought of dating Kara, taking Kara on dates was beyond overwhelming.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara fidgeted in her seat while trying very hard to focus on her work. It was impossible. She was worried over Alex and Alex's mental state. She never knew Alex felt such anguish over her feelings until her rut passed. Kara was not too sure what the rut did to Alex, but she knew her mating secretions made it worse. What if Alex did not really want her, but could not help herself because of the rut? She was not entirely sure how her secretions could affect humans.

She was tempted to call Kal-El, but she was not sure if she wanted to talk to him about this issue. He was her younger cousin, after all, even if he was older than her now. There were still some things that were just a little weird, even for them. If they stayed on Krypton, he might have asked her questions about it, but even that would have been out of the ordinary as he would have had his father and her father to ask. She was not sure who else she could talk to about this, beyond the hologram of her mother anyway. That would be weird, but not as weird as talking-to Kal-El about this.

"Kiera," Miss Grant's voice traveled, reminding Kara she was at work and she needed to stop getting lost in her own head.

Kara did her job, but was lost in her head regardless. She did not want to take advantage of Alex or Alex's emotions toward her. She knew Alex would do anything to make her happy and she did not think accepting they were mates would be anything different. But, she feared Alex accepted not because she truly felt the same way, but because she wanted Kara to be happy.

So, the next free moment she had, Kara went to the DEO to question her mother's hologram. She paced in front of the hologram before she worked up the courage to even ask. It would be easier if the hologram did not look like her mother. Again, this was awkward. It would probably be easier if this was her actual mother. There was nothing to be embarrassed about for Kryptonians. Mating secretions were just a fact of life, but throwing in an earthling made it weird and talking to a hologram made it weirder because that was not her mother. The hologram was not alive, did not experience things Kryptonians did, could not speak to her on an emotional level.

"So, I'm trying to figure out if Kryptonian mating secretions can affect humans," Kara started.

"Kryptonian mating secretions should affect whoever the desired mate is. The Kryptonian body is made in such a way that it will learn the things to entice the desired mate regardless of species. The mating secretions are meant to get you noticed by your desired mate and get them to notice and acknowledge their affections for you."

Kara figured that was the case. "Can it take a long time to affect someone not Kryptonian?" Alex had resisted it for years, or so it seemed. Alex admitted that was not the case, but Kara could never be sure. Alex said a lot of things to make her feel better, after all.

"It is possible, but it should affect any desired mate the same. The body has specially made the hormone secretion tailored to the desired mate and have them notice your intentions and get them to notice their desire."

Kara nodded, even though her face twisted up in thought. "Yeah. What happens if I get my desired mate, but then lose her? Will I be able to get another mate?" Her body might have been satisfied, having a taste of Alex, and now she could work on trying to find someone else, someone who really wanted her rather than locking Alex to her if it was not what Alex wanted.

"What do you mean by lose? If you mate has died, it is possible to find another. Your body will not secrete forever, though. You would have to find your mate as the humans do."

That would not be so bad. She had found humans to date in the same way humans did. No, it was not satisfying, but maybe she could learn once she was able to get over Alex. "No, I don't mean dead." She did not even want to think about that with Alex. "Just like, my mate gave into the secretions and then left after or something."

"Your body will call to your mate until the secretions are used up."

Kara could already hear Alex referring to that as "menopause." She might keep that one to herself and hope it was not among the data she gave Alex as a gift. "How long would I have for that?" While she had been old enough to know about mating secretions, she had not been too interested in finding out about when the body stopped releasing the pheromones.

"At your current age, you should have at least twenty more years."

"Oh, Rao." Kara bit the corner of her bottom lip. That would not do. "Is there a way to turn it off?"

"I do not understand."

"You know, like, stop it?"

"No, except for death."

Kara winced. "Well, I don't want to die. I just don't want to hurt a person I love more than anything because of this."

"If you love this person and they love you, you have found your mate and the secretions have done their job. They should diminish on their own, but they will not go completely away until your body stops producing those hormones."

"Yeah, I know, but I'm worried the person only became my mate because of the secretions, you know?" She waved her cape around lazily with one hand, as if it would help.

"The secretions would not affect the person if they did not want to be your mate. This is how it works."

Kara groaned. "I know! I know!" She thought she knew, but Alex had a way of making her doubt everything she knew. By all accounts, Alex should be her mate. She knew she affected Alex, even when this first began and Alex fought it tooth and nail because she thought it was wrong, thought she was taking advantage of Kara. But, even after they got over that, Alex was distant and moody and apparently still thinking she took advantage of Kara. What if Kara took advantage of her? What of Alex did not want her, but found it impossible to resist the mating secretions? "What if the secretions are just too much to handle and that's why my mate wanted me? What if the effect has worn off?"

"It doesn't work like that."

"I know!" Kara rubbed her face and paced some more, keeping her cool enough not to stomp her foot and shake the building. She wished she had an actual person to talk this out with. _I wish Mom was really here_. "Wait, I could ask Lucy!" Lucy was the one who set the whole thing up and Lucy seemed to like her well enough, even though she had been enamored with James. "Thanks, Mom. Bye!" She was off, phone in hand.

"Kara, what's up?" Lucy greeted her with an almost unnoticeable pause in her voice, like she was suspicious.

"Remember when you called me to take care of Alex?"

"Of course I remember that. It happened last week, Kara."

Kara flew home. "Right, right, right. But, when you called me, it was because you _knew_ , right?"

"I knew what?"

"You knew how we felt about each other."

Lucy laughed. "Oh, yeah. That was easy."

"Was it?" Kara had super powers and still could not tell after spending two days having sex with Alex. It was hard to figure out since they had also spent the last two days with Alex brooding and putting space between them in every way imaginable.

"Well, I know what you and your cousin do when you're around someone you love like that and I saw Alex's rut. It was the worst rut I've ever seen and she managed it like it wasn't the first time. A rut like that usually means you've run into your mate and your body is begging for that person. But, Alex openly admitted you were the only person she's been around. It had to be you. And, you were obviously doing that thing."

"Obvious to you, not Alex." Kara dropped onto her sofa, careful not to damage it.

Lucy clicked her tongue. "I knew the signs because Lois has called me in the past freaking out over it and then explained it to me, so I'd know she was all right. Alex didn't know it was a thing, so how would she know to look out for it? Why are you asking about this? Are you freaking out?"

Kara sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I just want to make sure I didn't pressure Alex into this."

"You didn't. Kara, she wants it. She wants you. She just needs time. You know what Alex needs, actually. So, just be there for her and little by little get her to open up to you."

Kara nodded, even though she was alone. Alex told her she needed time and she wanted to give it to her, but it was hard. "Are you sure I didn't force her?"

"No, you didn't. It'll be fine, Kara. You both need to just adjust to this new facet of your lives, but you'll be fine."

Kara blew out a breath and ran a hand through her hair. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. Just give her time and take some time yourself. You guys basically jumped into the pool at the deep end. It's okay. You just need time."

Kara's shoulders slumped. "You're good at this."

"I'm getting that feeling, yeah."

"I'm sorry if this is weird."

"It's not. I don't even think of you as the girl who tried to steal James from me anymore."

Kara yelped. "I didn't—" She sputtered, unable to get out a proper excuse.

"Calm down. You tried. It failed. But, I failed with him, too. It's over and we're all friends. Now, you give yourself time and you give Alex time. It'll be fine," Lucy all but promised.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Actually, no, mention something. Mention to Alex that she has a sparring session to schedule."

"Uh… Okay." Kara was not sure what that was about, but it seemed like a simple thing. They ended the call and Kara dropped her phone to the side as she fell over, curling into the sofa. Alex needed time. This was a huge change in their relationship… but not really. At least not to her. Alex was different, she knew that. So, yes, time.

 _How much time is this going to take, though?_ Alex was a tough nut, all the time. She could not remember a moment Alex did not make unnecessarily difficult in some manner. But, then again, she could not recall a time Alex did not make sure she was comfortable, make sure she felt wanted, and loved. In that instance, Alex was softie. So, yeah, maybe it would take time, but it would be worth it, especially if it gave Alex peace of mind. She was pulled from her thoughts as her phone buzzed. She fumbled with it when she saw who it was.

"Alex!" She squeaked.

"Hi, Kara. Did I catch you at a bad time?" Alex asked.

"No, no, no. I just came in. What's up?"

"I know I've been out of touch the last few days and I want to make it up to you."

Kara blinked and managed to keep a happy squeal in her throat. "Make it up to me? What's your plan?"

"Will you come over? Not right now, but in about an hour. Dress nice."

"You're not going to explain this, are you?"

"Nope." And Alex hung up.

Kara huffed, but she was curious what Alex was cooking. This could go one of two ways. It could be Alex finally deciding she could not deal with their relationship and was going to say so. Or Alex wanted to talk about their relationship to figure out what it was and how they could move forward. She hoped and suspected the latter since she was told to dress nice. Another excited squeal escaped her and she rushed to find something nice.

-8-8-8-8-

 _Date her_ , Alex said to herself over and over again to keep from flipping out and hyperventilating. She wanted this. She had wanted this for a long time and it was not a bad thing, regardless of what her mother made her think, regardless of what the world might think. She was not taking advantage of Kara. Kara was _not_ her sister. Kara desired this as much as she did. So, she could not let her usual demons ruin things for her.

"You want this. It's not wrong. You want this. It's not wrong," Alex said, facing her bathroom mirror as she put on makeup. She wanted to look her best, wanted Kara to see she was trying, wanted Kara to understand she craved this now as she had during her rut, and long before.

The hot stone in her stomach made her want to reconsider. This was so wrong. Kara was her foster sister. _No, no, no_. She shook it away. They had a date. They would date. She would take Kara on dates.

"You might want to learn to cook then," Alex said to herself.

While she did things up and made her apartment nice for Kara, cooking was not her forte. She could make some things, but she wanted this to be perfect. So, she ordered out and set it up on the table. There were candles around the apartment and she went to light them after she was ready. She put on some soft jazz and waited. She did not have to wait long before there was a knock at the door. Taking a breath, she stepped to the door, grabbed the roses she had waiting, and opened the door.

Kara stood before her, looking beautiful, like someone otherworldly. An angel did not even cover it. A simple powder blue dress, highlighting her eyes, looked like the height of fashion. Everything about her was picture perfect and made Alex's heart skip a beat. _Yeah, I'm all the way gone. We have to do this_.

"Hey," Alex said, feeling lame before she even finished the short word, but also impressed she could speak with the sight of Kara before her.

"Hey," Kara said, her voice shy. She glanced away briefly and then gave Alex a small smile.

"Come in." Alex stepped to the side and swept her in with her free hand, trying her best not to feel awkward. It was hard and the more she tried the more awkward she felt. Her stomach flipped and she forced it to settle down. It would not help the evening if she threw up. "Oh, and these are for you." She held up the bouquet of roses, red and yellow.

"Oh, wow. They're lovely." Kara accepted the flowers and gave them a deep inhale. "They smell wonderful. I love them."

"I'm glad." It sounded trite, but she really was. She gave a nervous laugh. "I'm also a nervous. I've never done this before." She resisted the urge to wipe her palms on her dress.

Kara's brow furrowed. "Done what?"

"Set up a date." Alex motioned to her small dinette set, which was decked out with their meal and flickering candles. Shadows danced on the wall, beckoning them to their seats. Part of her way glad to have never done this before. It was nice to share this with Kara. _Is this how Kara felt sharing herself with me?_ Alex felt like that was ridiculous thought. Giving up her virginity was nothing like never preparing a real date. Even though she knew Kryptonians had a different view on virginity than many human societies.

Kara smiled. "You're doing great so far. This looks really nice." She made her way to the table. "Um… can you put my flowers in some water for me?"

Alex nodded. "They came with a vase." She rushed to go get it and put the roses in the long, blue vase with some water. She hoped Kara appreciated the color scheme. She sat them on the counter next to the dinette set, so Kara could admire them if she felt like it.

"The vase is very pretty, too," Kara said, running a finger along the grooves of the swirling glass.

"Believe it or not, it's the Supergirl special at the flower shop I got this from. Wild, huh?"

Kara shrugged a little and scrunched her mouth up to the side in that cute way she always did. "So many places have Supergirl things. I feel like I should get a commission or this is copyright infringement or something."

"I think you'd have to copyright the House of El symbol first."

Kara pouted a little. "Can I do that? I feel like people would still put the symbol everywhere."

"Just use it to get free food like we both know you do."

Kara gasped, pretending to be offended. They sat. For a moment, Alex wondered if she should pull Kara's seat out, but Kara took care of that. Alex rubbed her palms together, wishing they would stop sweating. Kara smiled at her and Alex laughed like an idiot. _Oh, god. This is going so wrong_.

"Are you okay?" Kara asked, eyes glistening with concern.

Alex took a deep breath. "No, not really. Like I said, I'm nervous. We both know I don't really date. I've never actually had someone over for dinner except for you."

Kara smiled and now her eyes sparkled in the low light. She glowed like some ethereal being. "I don't mind that. This is really nice. The candles smell great and the food tastes good." To prove her point, she dug into her food, which was laid out on the plate in front of her. "This is so good. Is this from that restaurant over on fourth?"

"Yes. I wasn't sure if you liked them that much since you don't go there often, but I liked them."

"No, I love it, but they're so expensive and I already eat so much. This is a real treat." Kara took several forkfuls of diced chicken mixed with her rice and beans.

Alex smiled, too, and had some of her own food. They had done something like this a million times before, without the candles and fancy clothes, but this felt awkward. She did not understand why it felt like a first date between someone she did not know well. She knew Kara better than she knew herself.

"Is this weird to you?" Alex asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Well, it's weird you're in a dress," Kara remarked.

Alex chuckled and looked down at herself. She put on a dark blue cocktail dress. It was not standard for alphas to wear dresses, but it was not unheard of, especially for female alphas. She was definitely more comfortable in pants, but she was also more comfortable in her DEO clothes than anything else, so that did not say much. She was glad Kara appreciated the change.

"I wanted to wear something special for you," Alex said.

Kara beamed, shining so much brighter than the candles surrounding them. Her expression sparked a light in Alex's heart. She always liked to make Kara light up, but this was different. This was more than it had ever been.

"You look very nice. I'm glad you wanted to look special for me. This whole dinner thing is nice, too." Kara motioned around the table with her fork.

"So, you've said."

Kara laughed a little. "Okay, maybe I'm nervous, too. This is weird, but it's a good weird. It feels like a first date, but in a good way. I'm already looking forward to our next date."

Alex blinked. "So, you do want to date?" Yes, Kara had said as much, but it was still hard for her to believe. She did not understand why Kara would want her out of so many more worthwhile people.

"Of course I do. And I want to do the stuff we used to do, too. Well, a lot of the stuff we used to do could be considered dates, couldn't they?" Kara asked, finger rubbing her chin in thought for a moment.

"This is true."

"So, our sisters' night can become bonding night and it'll be the same format, but with a lot more cuddling and kissing, yeah?" Kara grinned.

Alex felt pride in her chest. Kara was beaming at the thought of kissing her. Maybe she had worried over nothing in thinking she took advantage of Kara. Maybe this dating thing could work. Maybe they could have a relationship outside of their sisterhood. It was not outrageous to think or yearn for _. Now, say that about a thousand times, so you believe it_.

"I think I'd like that," Alex replied and felt the tension drain out of her with that admission. Apparently, being honest with herself and Kara was the best way to feel better about them having a relationship. She would have to remember that.

"Oh, so is the next date my responsibility?" Kara asked, quite eager. It made Alex think of Lucy calling Kara a puppy. She could almost see Kara's tail wagging.

Alex took a sip of her wine. "If you want to. You're going to have work really hard to impress me." The alpha in her wanted to decline, but it was the modern world. Not to mention, Kara was not an alpha, omega, or even a beta. Gender roles did not apply to her.

Kara sat up straight. "I think I can handle it. After all, I handle Miss Grant everyday. You should be easy in comparison."

Alex chortled. "Compared to Miss Grant already? I must be so high maintenance."

Kara smiled, showing her teeth. "I say it with fondness, of course."

"I might have to watch you around Miss Grant. You might like that sort of thing. I don't go around sniffing people, but she definitely has the personality of an alpha."

It was this little bit of banter made their date easier, made their lives easier. Things became familiar again, light and comfortable. It was almost ordinary for them, including Alex having to surrender half her dinner because Kara was eyeing it like a pot of gold once she finished her food. Kara ate almost the whole strawberry cheesecake dessert, but she made sure Alex got a huge slice beforehand.

"It's so good," Kara moaned and groaned, as expected.

"Yes, it is." Alex shifted in her seat a little. One part of her was a little too enchanted with sounds coming from Kara over the dessert. She took a bite of her own cheesecake with the hopes of getting her mind off of those noises. She was more happy that Kara enjoyed it than she was to eat some of it, even though she knew Kara would love it.

Kara's eyes twinkled and she seemed more content than ever when they settled on the couch to watch a movie. This time there was no space between them, by Kara's choice. Kara snuggled against Alex and put Alex's arms around her. It was louder statement than any words. Kara wanted this, wanted them.

The knot in Alex's stomach eased quite a bit while another part of her was quite intrigued their sitting arrangement. Alex took a breath to keep her arousal down. She hoped Kara could not smell it. _Look, I know the idea of sleeping with Kara is awesome and the fact that we've done it, so we know it's awesome doesn't mean we're ready for that, so calm the hell down_. She had too much history and baggage to jump into bed with Kara.

"We should talk about this," Alex said. It had to be discussed, possibly several times for her. She needed time and effort to get over the idea that this was wrong, that she was taking advantage, and that they should not be doing this.

"I thought we just did. Aren't we dating?" Kara asked, looking into Alex's eyes with those damn puppy eyes.

"Yes, we've agreed to date. But, what does that entail?"

Kara's face scrunched up. "We're going on dates and still hanging out the way we do, but in a different context. We're romantically involved… right?"

"Yes, romantically involved." Alex agreed with that and from this moment on silently vowed to romance the hell out of Kara. It was not something Kara got to experience much and Alex wanted to give her that. She wanted to give Kara everything. She kissed the top of Kara's head.

Kara smiled and managed to snuggle in closer. "Good. I'm happy."

"Well, that's good, but we still need to talk."

"We agreed to take this slow, right? I want you to be comfortable with this, Alex. I want you to really understand how I love you and want to be with you and I'll take it however you're comfortable. I don't want to lose you ever, Alex." Kara nuzzled her.

"You never will." Well, not through choice anyway and they both understood that.

Kara wrapped her arms around Alex to the point where she was now practically lounging on Alex, movie forgotten. Alex put her arms around Kara's shoulders and delighted in holding her. Getting just a small whiff of Kara's natural scent settled Alex's nerves in a way that a hot soak would. It did not even get a reaction from her cock. It was just something soothing that let her entire being know all was right in the world. How could she think this was wrong? How could she think to let this go? She kissed the top of Kara's head again and Kara purred.

"I want this," Kara mumbled as Alex ran her fingers through Kara's hair.

Alex's heart jumped. "I want this, too." _I want this so badly. I can't ruin it. I can't_.

Before they could get any deeper than that, Kara fell asleep. Alex studied her face, beyond the usual angelic nature of Kara, Alex could usually see the weight of the world on Kara's face when she slept. This time, it was not present. Kara looked relaxed and calm, just like Alex felt. Alex felt pride in her chest again. She did that. She gave Kara peace, even if it was only for a moment and only in her sleep. _No, I can't ruin this_.

Eventually, she had to wake Kara. They could not sleep on the couch. "Hey, babe…" The word tumbled out of Alex's mouth before she realized it. She pressed on. "It's late. You should get home."

Kara pouted. "Home?" The single word was whined like no other word before it.

"You can take my bed then. You know where my pajamas are." They had shared a bed before, but Alex was not sure she had the constitution for it now that their relationship changed.

"Come with me." Kara poked her lip out and gave Alex a squeeze around her middle.

It should not be a big deal. Again, they had shared a bed countless times before. The night had gone too well for Alex to risk ruining it with an argument, so she nodded. Kara changed into the bathroom and went through her nightly routines before collapsing in Alex's bed. Alex took a moment to appreciate the sight and think about how she would love nothing more than to see it every night. Her heart swelled and she sighed. _You need to get your shit together, then_.

Moving to get her own nightly routines out of the way, Alex dared to think things might be all right. Her heart felt full and her body light. She might be able to do this. So, she got in bed, pressing herself against Kara's back. Before she even settled into the pillow, anxiety shot through her, conquering all good feelings she had. Her mind was bombarded with memories and terrors of every time she slept next to a person she had sex with. Her throat sizzled and her stomach twisted.

"I'll take the couch!" Alex was up before Kara could make a sound. She did not even take a pillow or blanket.

Flopping down on the couch, tears burned her eyes, but Alex would never dare to cry, especially over something she had done to herself. Her stomach did not feel any better and she would not be surprised if she was sick. _It wouldn't be the first time a pretty blonde had to deal with your vomit_. The memory made her gag and her food was very close to revisiting her. She closed her eyes, trying to will everything down and hoping to fall asleep, even though she knew that was not going to happen.

After a few seconds or minutes, Alex was not sure, a blanket was place over her. Kara knew she was not asleep. Kara could hear her heartbeat, knew the subtle changes in her breathing. Still, Kara said nothing and neither did Alex as Kara eased a pillow under her head and kissed the top of her head before going back to the bed. She could not help the sigh that escaped her. Part of her was comforted, but anxiety continued to gnaw at her.

 _In time, we'll be fine. I just need time_. Alex gave Kara peace and Kara did the same for her. That meant more than something. It meant _everything_. So, she would stick with this and push through until she was perfectly content with their situation and relationship. _You've pushed through tougher and much less pleasant things_. _You can do this_.

-8-8-8-8-

Giddiness bubbled and boiled over in Kara in a way she never had before. It had been a little over a week since Alex put together their first real date and since then they had been on two more. They were plain dates, like going to lunch and walking through the park, but dates nonetheless. Tonight they would have "bonding night," the replacement to sisters' night. Now, it was her turn to set up for their date. Plus, it was the fourth date. She hoped that meant something, but she was prepared to take things slow. For now, she wanted to get ready for Alex.

Junk food was a must for sisters' night and Kara refused to change that as things became bonding night. She ordered extra everything to make sure Alex got some before she inhaled all of the food. So, there was Alex's favorite pizza, a pie all to herself, even if she would not eat the whole thing. She got a variety of wings, some cinnamon sticks, and a giant chocolate chip brownie with marshmallows on it. She had never had one before, but she was looking forward to it. Alex would bring the drinks, even though everything came with a two liter cola.

She also made sure to put a bunch of movies and shows Alex wanted to see in the Netflix cue. She wanted Alex to know she wanted to spoil Alex as much as Alex spoiled her. She also went out and got Alex a gift because Alex always had things for her at their dates. She felt like it was cause to celebrate that they made it through a week of dating without Alex freaking out… well, as much as she did before. Kara was aware Alex freaked out a little when she did not think anyone was looking. But, Alex was coping without violence or drinking, so that was a win.

Kara got one last chance to check herself out in the mirror before she could hear Alex at the door. Alex knocked instead of using her key. Kara thought it was silly, but if Alex needed to do that, then it was fine by her. But, she had to let Alex know it was not necessary.

"Hey, Alex," Kara grinned as she opened the door.

"Hey, babe," Alex said. She always made a face like the word tasted funny on her tongue, but she said it at every date and whenever she and Kara were alone. Kara knew it was to help her adjust to their relationship. She hoped she got a better pet name eventually, though.

Alex stepped in and they exchanged a brief kiss that left Kara tingling and wanting. There had been so many kisses since they started officially dating. Kara was certain she was addicted, but she could not bring herself to care.

"I brought that wine you like." Alex held up the bottle.

Kara purred. "Oh, you're too good to me!" While she could not get drunk off of wine, she could appreciate the taste.

"Yeah, but I'm drinking beer." Alex held up a six pack.

"Not all of it."

Alex shrugged, calling attention to the leather jacket she wore. Kara always had appreciation for Alex and her leather and her bike, but who did not? After being with Alex and now committing to a relationship, Kara could appreciate the leather jacket even more. She just wanted to curl up next to Alex while she had it on and kiss her forever… and maybe a little bit more.

Maybe Alex would be open to that now. Kara often caught a whiff of Alex enjoying their closeness more than she let on. Maybe she was ready to act on it since the week had gone so well. Sure, they had yet to even sleep in the same bed, but things could change quickly. After all, they were proof of that.

"Kara, you coming or what?" Alex asked.

Kara blinked herself out of her stupor. "Oh, yeah." She moved to sit with Alex on the sofa. "Oh, I got you something." She grabbed a giant box of Nerds candy, which she had put a bow on. She handed it to Alex.

Alex accepted with a smile. "Aw, you got my favorite candy for me and didn't even eat half the box?"

"Oh, hush!" Kara gave Alex a light shove. "You can eat them while we watch the movie."

"Oh, so the plan is for me to open them and get like the first three and then you finish off the box? Understood." Alex nodded.

"Hey, you can't be mean to me on bonding night. It makes bonding difficult." Kara poked out her lip.

Alex gave her a surprisingly easygoing grin. "It's making bonding really fun for me."

Kara pushed her lip out further and got a kiss for her trouble. "Well, if you give me a few more of those, I might reconsider eating your candy." Of course, they both knew the moment Alex opened that box, Kara would get a good portion of it. Alex laughed, but kissed her again anyway.

It was a pretty regular night. They ate and watched movies. Alex held Kara, but Kara wanted more than that. Cuddling was nice and all, but kissing was better. Alex obliged and soon the movie was forgotten in favor of kissing. During the makeup session, Alex ended up on her back with Kara on top of her. Alex's hands seemed like they were everywhere and Kara could not help herself, grinding down against Alex, feeling so much of Alex. Alex groaned and broke the kiss.

"Kara, I don't think…" Alex glanced away, too embarrassed to finish that sentence.

Kara put a hand to Alex's cheek with the hope Alex would look at her. She got what she desired. "Alex, we don't need to anything you're not comfortable with. I'm here forever. Take your time." While she might want to share a bed and more, she would wait for Alex to be okay with that for as long as it took, even if it was forever. She could sacrifice for Alex just as much as Alex did for her.

Alex's eyes searched her face. "Are you sure?"

She offered a small, encouraging smile. "Yes, I'm sure. I don't want you to be uncomfortable with anything we do. I know how much you always have on your mind and I don't want this to add to your troubles. I want you to be okay with us."

Alex nodded and caressed Kara's biceps. "What did I do to deserve you?"

Kara chuckled, even though the gentle attention made her want to melt into Alex. "I wish you knew how often I think that about you. Way too many times you've been the only reason I haven't gone insane."

Alex moved one hand to stroke Kara's cheek and Kara was not sure how she did not melt into Alex. Since she could not and did not do that, she did the next best thing and kissed Alex again. The feel of Alex's lips and tongue were more than enough to make her blood dance and have her body sing. Adding in Alex's tender touches and Kara was not sure how she did not explode. She tried to keep her hips under control, not wanting to chase Alex away, not wanting to hurt Alex. It was hard, though. She craved this closeness and more, felt starved for it.

"Wait, wait, wait," Alex said after who knew how long. She pulled away and sat up, hunched over and panting.

Kara gave Alex some space. She could guess what happened, even though Alex pulled away before she could feel the problem. Alex pressed her hands together and took controlled breaths.

"Remember, Alex, whenever you're ready. No pressure," Kara said. She was tempted to reach out and put her hand on Alex's shoulder, but she doubted that would help, even if it was just to give comfort.

Alex nodded. "I know. I know. Thanks. It's just…" She blew out a breath. "You on top of me… It's a lot."

Kara could not help sitting up proud. "Um… yeah. But, again, whenever you're ready. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Um… can we cuddle again?" Snuggling with Alex would always rank high on ways to past the time for Kara.

Alex nodded. "Give me a minute, though."

Kara had no problem with that and held off as Alex controlled her breath and drank a beer. When Alex was ready, Kara went back to her and curled against her. Alex wrapped her in a protective embrace and they continued to watch the movie. Eventually, there was more making out, but not the extent of before. As the night wound down, Kara tucked her head under Alex's chin.

"Do you think you could… Well, I'd like if you stay the night," Kara said and immediately heard the uptick on Alex's heartbeat.

"Kara," Alex replied.

"Just to sleep. I love having you against me. I feel… I dunno, at peace or something." Those words might have been the right ones because Alex's heartbeat calmed.

"I'll try, Kara. It's just… it's different sleeping next to you now. Before, you were off-limits and unattainable, so…" Alex shrugged. "I dunno. I was able to deal with it. Now, there's so much with me that you don't even know about."

"Okay, well, first, I eventually want to know everything about you, so I hope one day you're comfortable with sharing. Second, can you just remember it's me? We've done this a thousand times and I don't expect anything from you. I just want us to sleep."

Alex nodded. "I'll try."

Kara could not help hoping, even though this did not go the way she wanted last time. Still, try and try again would be her motto with Alex until they were some place they both could enjoy. So, she laid down in her bed and Alex followed. Instead of spooning, she tucked herself in close to Alex, a way she used to do when she first came to the planet and they started getting close. Alex wrapped her arms around Kara, just like she used to do and little by little Kara could hear and feel her relax.

"Whenever you get anxious, Alex, can you just remember I'm me?" Kara asked softly, not wanting to destroy the moment.

Alex rubbed her back. "I'll do my best. No matter what, don't forget I care about you. I'm nervous and anxious, yes. But, for a lot of reasons and everything boils down to me wanting to do right by you. I want things to go right with us and I want to be the mate you deserve."

Kara's breath hitched at the word "mate." It was that one word that let Kara know things would be all right. Alex saw a future with them, saw them being mates and Alex knew what that word meant to Kara. It was not just being a couple, not just being married, but being two halves of a whole, completely each other, being willing to pick the other up when necessary, and everything in between. Alex wanted that with her.

-8-8-8-8-

It had been over a month since Alex was in rut, crippled over her desire for Kara and even though she had months before her next rut, she wanted to be with Kara before that time. They had been dating comfortably for three weeks. She felt like this was still rushing things, but want settled just under her skin whenever she was with Kara. Yes, there was the shame of the want, but the carving itched a little more each day, clawing away at the shame. So, there she was with Lucy again, at lunch.

"Are you going to make this a habit?" Lucy asked with a teasing smile as they sat in a corner of the same cafe as they had before.

"You're the only person who knows," Alex replied. She was not happy to have to ask for help, but she was so out of her depth.

"Knowledge is such a burden." Lucy rolled her eyes, but grinned, drumming on the table with eager fingers. "What's going on? I figured you two must be okay if you're not trying to take out any agents in the gym."

Alex snorted and a sneer tugged at her top lip. "You know I only do that during my rut."

"You also do it when training rookies or when someone likes to act like they're big and bad."

Alex folded her arms across her chest. "It let's trainees know this isn't a joke and it's not safe to have an ego the size of all outdoors. That's how people get killed."

Lucy tittered a bit. "I love how you have that all sorted out, but not this thing with Kara. How can I help you? What's going on?"

Alex took a deep breath. "Well, we haven't… since my rut. I want to before my next rut. I don't want our only times being intimate to be those times."

"So, you want advice on how to romance the moment?"

Alex sighed. "I guess. I don't want it to seem sudden. Kara's been so patient with me and I'm still a little hung up on this, but not like before. I understand it's okay and I really think she's the one for me." She noticed the look on Lucy's face. "If you call me adorable, I will shoot you."

Lucy held her hands up. "You said it, not me."

"Your eyes said it and they're still saying it. I will shoot you. Assistant director be damned."

"No need." Lucy took a breath and shrugged. "Look, let the moment happen. Don't stress over it, especially considering we all know the more you stress over it, the worse it'll get. And, Kara will notice if you're forcing anything."

Alex chewed the corner of her bottom lip for a moment. "That's true."

"Take your time, like she said. I think if you let things go naturally, you won't have to wait until your next rut."

Alex nodded and was certain that was true. Maybe she just needed someone to say it. She and Kara had already had sleepovers. There were make-outs and cuddles. It would probably happen on its own before her next rut. She just wanted to have a time with Kara when she was in control over herself. She wanted to be completely over her anxiety and wanted to conquer all of the horrible memories hanging over her every time she went a little too far with Kara.

"Will you be okay?" Lucy asked.

"Why?"

"Because you look like you might throw up."

Alex's stomach turned at that. There were times when that happened, too. She would be cuddled in the bed with Kara and her stomach would not settle, her throat would burn with bile, and her heart beat so erratically that Kara asked her about it. She would wait until she could at least sleep next to Kara without having a small panic attack that could only be soothed with gentle words from Kara reminding her who Kara was.

So, she felt like in order to get over that now that she acknowledged it was to get used to it. There would have to be more sleepovers. She sighed.

"Thanks for the help," Alex said to Lucy.

"Then stop looking like I kidnapped you in order to get that thanks," Lucy replied.

Alex laughed. "I'm just not used to getting help like this."

"It's all right. Everyone needs it every now and then."

Alex was not sure about that, but she did not know much about being in a relationship. She was also learning she did not know much about friendships in her adult life, as she and Lucy began speaking on other matters as they had lunch. They almost sounded like friends to her. Were they friends? Maybe they could be friends. She would see how that would play out.

-8-8-8-8-

After a date to the movies, Alex and Kara ended up at Alex's apartment because it was closer. They did their usual nighttime things and then crawled into bed. Despite sharing a bed often enough, they still had not figured out how they would sleep. Alex refused to be the little spoon. Kara liked to toss and turn, more for the hell of it than anything else. So, every time they laid down together they tried something new.

"You could always lie on me. I won't mind," Kara said, staring at the ceiling.

"No, that's not going to happen." While Alex liked to think she was beyond her alpha instincts, an alpha did not use her partner as a mattress. The alpha was the mattress. The badass was the mattress and while Kara might be Supergirl, Alex still felt she was the badass between the two of them.

"Why not? I'm comfortable." Kara had the nerve to put her chin up, like she was proud of this complete and utter lie.

"You're a furnace you mean." Holding Kara at night was an act of weighing costs to benefits. The cost was being burning hot throughout the night with the benefits being enjoying the feel of Kara in her arms. The benefits outweighed the cost in that instance, but it did not make her any less hot.

Kara scoffed. "I just have really good circulation. What if I was the little spoon?"

"Are you going to stay still to be the little spoon?"

"I can try."

They shuffled in the bed and moved into position with Kara as the little spoon and Alex as the big spoon. She draped her arm over Kara, who put her hand over Alex's. This was surprisingly comfortable, on par with Kara facing her while they laid in bed. She could feel Kara's movements as she breathed in and out. She nuzzled Kara's neck as Kara's fingers traced the lines on her knuckles.

"This is the calmest you've been when we're in this situation," Kara said.

"This is really comfortable," Alex replied, caressing Kara's stomach. And, for someone who could stop bullets, Kara was so soft to the touch. Yes, she ran hot, but it did not stop Alex's hands from wandering her stomach and arms. The thoughts that haunted her were overpowered by the feel of Kara, the promise of Kara, and the reality of Kara.

Kara purred. "That's really nice." She pushed back against Alex and Alex groaned.

Alex kissed Kara's neck. Kara turned and then they were kissing, slowly and leisurely, as they did countless times now. Kara's lips never failed to entice, bringing up feelings Alex never thought could exist. It was like having insight to the inner workings of the universe, traveling through space at leisure, and becoming enlightened by the simple act of touching Kara's mouth. And the gentle caress of Kara's tongue was like being graced with everything she could ever want or need. How had she lived without these kisses? How had she fought against these kisses? Why had she fought against any of this? Never again.

"I'm surprised guys haven't written epic poetry dedicated to your kisses," Alex said.

Kara snickered. "I could say the same about you. Can we kiss forever?"

"I dunno. I need to breathe every now and then."

"Breathing isn't really important." And to prove her point, Kara went in for more kisses, testing how long Alex could go before she needed to breathe normally. Alex was up for the challenge, delighting in each movement of Kara's mouth.

After a while, Kara took Alex's hand from her stomach and pushed it up a little higher, giving her permission if she wanted it. Alex found herself bold enough to go for it and before either of them realized it, Alex was softly kneading Kara's breast. The weight in her hand, the soft flesh tempting her nerve-endings blocked out any thoughts other than touching more of Kara, making Kara feel good. Kara broke their kiss.

"Are we…?" Kara asked in a low, but very eager voice. Her eyes sparkled, but searched Alex's face.

"We can if you want," Alex replied. Her half-hard-on would definitely appreciate it.

"Okay, one second!" Kara popped up before Alex could say anything.

"What are you doing?" Alex asked.

"Gotta get something." Kara went into her pants' pocket and grabbed something.

Alex could guess what Kara was getting. While Kara grabbed the kryptonite bracelet, Alex checked if she had condoms. It had been a long time since she had been with anyone. There were condoms in her nightstand. She hoped they had not expired. While she suspected she had as much chance of impregnating Kara as she did a tree, she did not voice that. Besides, if she had not gotten Kara pregnant during her rut, she doubted she would now, which was a little bit of a blow to the alpha inside of her she liked to ignore. _But, yeah, I might want to start researching that. Maybe Kara wants kids and maybe I'd like to give them to her one day_.

"You okay?" Kara asked as she crawled back into bed.

"Yeah, fine." Alex took a deep breath and settled back into her pillow. "Come back."

Kara moved back into position and they spooning again, like they were about to go to sleep. Alex almost thought they might do that, but then she felt Kara's fingers caressing her hand. The gentle, almost innocent movement was more than Alex needed. Her lips found Kara's neck again, drawing a loud moan from her this time. Kara arched against her, ass against Alex, grinding on her aroused cock, as Alex's hand eased under Kara's shirt.

Kara let out another moan as Alex filled her hand with Kara's plump breast. Kara turned and Alex wasted no time kissing her wildly, deeply. Maybe when she had the time, she would pen epic poems about Kara and her kisses. She would add praise to Kara's breasts while she was at it. They were the perfect size and she would not mind having them in her hands at all times, unless she got to put them in her mouth.

"Alex," Kara breathed against her mouth.

"I got you," Alex replied, hips pumping against Kara. She could hardly control her body now. She wanted to explore and discovery every bit of Kara. She wanted to learn all of the secrets of Kara's body. "I want to make you feel things you didn't even know you could."

Kara moaned again. "Yes, please."

Alex cupped Kara's breast and pinched her nipple. Kara cried out, arched into her touch, and pressed against her. Alex could hardly breathe, hardly cared to breath. She only wanted to feel, feel every inch of Kara and make Kara feel every inch of her. Kara seemed to want the same, scrambling out of her shirt to the point it got caught in her hair. Alex would have laughed, but she did not have time as Kara was kissing her again and grabbing at her shirt. Alex pulled away.

"Calm down. We have all night," Alex said. She wanted to take her time and enjoy everything.

Kara pouted. "I know. I know. Sorry. Kisses?"

How could Alex refuse that face? She could not refuse Kara's pout before they were a couple. She would never be able to resist it now. It did not matter. She would never want to refuse or resist giving Kara kisses, so she obliged. As they kissed, Kara tugged at Alex's pajama shirt again, but Alex pulled away.

"I've got this," Alex said. She wanted to be the one to undress herself.

Kara grinned, looking very much like a pleased puppy. "Yes, please."

Every time she said that, it sent a shiver down Alex's spine and the shiver turned into a twitch when it reached below her waist. Beyond her rut, Alex was not sure she had ever been so hard in all of her life. She doubted she had ever leaked so much either, her dick practically drooling at this point. She lifted her shirt over her head and heard Kara's breath hitch while she was blinded by the fabric. The reaction made her proud and puffed up.

"Can I?" Kara asked, but her hands were moving already.

Alex nodded. Kara's fingers traces simple parts of her at first, her arms, her collarbones, and then eased her way down to Alex's breasts. It was curious touching, not quite sexual, but Alex grew harder from it. Her skin burned and craved Kara. She leaned in for another kiss and needed to feel more of Kara. Kara greeted her with enthusiasm.

Alex's hands busied themselves with stroking Kara's chest from her collarbones to her navel. She wanted to become intimately familiar with the expanse of Kara's flesh. She wanted to know Kara in the same manner she knew her work, thoroughly and expertly. Her hands grazed a bit of clothing she felt needed to go.

"Pants. Take off your pants," Alex said.

"Yes, yes, yes." Kara moved to do just that.

Alex took a moment to appreciate Kara's naked and raw beauty. What had she done to deserve this angel? Why had this angel picked her to be with? Kara might have seen the questions in her eyes because she reached out and caressed Alex's cheek.

"I used to imagine what my bond-mate would be like when I was little. I never imagined anyone nearly as great as you," Kara said.

Alex sniffled. "You think I'm great?" Kara praised her quite often, but it was hard to get through so much other things in the swamp of Alex's emotions.

"So great." Kara grinned.

Alex puffed up on the inside again and felt any remaining negative emotions ebb away. Kara wanted her. Kara thought they were all right. Kara, Supergirl, Last Daughter of Krypton thought she was good enough, thought they were good together, to bond, to mate. Alex grabbed Kara to her for a heated kiss, pressing Kara down into the mattress.

Kara wrapped her arms around Alex, like she never wanted to let her go, like she trusted her with everything. Alex felt like she was bathed in warm light, drenched in warm water, wrapped in a cocoon of Kara and this was just where she should be. She pressed against Kara, never breaking the kiss, and loving the feel of Kara's skin against her own. Kara's hands roamed her back, caressed her nerves, and whispered promises of safety. She pulled away and Kara whimpered.

Alex worried the sound of a whimper would break the spell. She was afraid of Kara sounding or doing anything like an omega would bring ruin to this all, bring back a flood of memories and emotions she would not be able to ignore and unable to cope with, but her mind did not even register it. Kara was now her entire universe and the universe was following her lead. Her inner alpha seemed quite pleased with the bit of control she had. There were no flashbacks or pauses. She was comfortable.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you. I just need…" She needed to get out of her damn shorts, which had to have an impressive wet spot by now. As she sat up to get rid of them, Kara moved with her, kissing her neck, her shoulders, and every other bit she could reach. Each kiss left a tattoo of love imprinted on her soul.

Alex got rid of her pajama shorts along with her boxer-briefs. Relief rushed her as she was freed from her confining underwear and she went back to Kara, kissing her lips, her neck, and down. Kara eased back to the pillow, hands never leaving Alex. The imprint of Kara's fingers grounded her, leaving her in disbelief that there was ever a time she could not do this. And when she tasted Kara, felt her pulse beating under her lips, hearing Kara moan her name, she could not understand why there was ever a time she could not do this.

"You taste so good," Alex whispered as she dragged her lips and the tip of her tongue along Kara's collarbone. It felt like a simple taste could sustain her forever.

Kara's eyes fluttered shut, like she surrendered herself to Alex. The very idea sent jolts down Alex's spine and right to her already throbbing dick. She could feel herself dripping onto the mattress, but she could not bring herself to care. More of Kara's skin called to her.

Drifting, she made her way to Kara's beautiful breasts. She lapped at a pebbled nipple while her thumb played with the other. Kara whined and arched into her touch. Kara's breath hitched.

"You're…" Kara could not even get it out.

"I know, but this is about you. I want to take care of you," Alex replied. Pleasing Kara kept her demons at bay and she was more than happy to have her mind focus completely on adoring Kara.

"But… more?" It was a question, like Kara did not understand there could be more.

"Whatever you want." Alex suckled a little harder as her free hand caressed Kara's inner thigh. Kara's legs fell open without any prompting. Seeking Kara's pleasure, Alex fingers found her clit and stroked it with tender devotion in rhythm with the suck of her lips.

"Oh, Rao!" Kara quivered beneath her.

Alex's inner alpha flared up, driving her to lips and tongue to play with Kara's pink peaks. The soft sounds coming from Kara filled Alex in so many spaces and made her crave more. Tasting Kara was amazing, so she decided to drink her in. Kissing her way down Kara's torso, she gave special attention just below Kara's navel. She could smell Kara's arousal now and inhaled deeply, letting it colonize her. She hoped to return the favor as she went for the prize, taking Kara's clit between her lips.

"Oh, Alex." Kara's hands clutched her skull and it was a good thing she was had on that kryptonite bracelet or she certainly would have squashed Alex's skull like a grape. And Alex would not have given a good damn.

Alex took long, broad strokes along Kara, lapping up every bit of her essence that she could. Kara purred with each lick and the sound made Alex never want to leave. She felt Kara move against her mouth and open herself up to more. Alex wanted nothing more than to give Kara all she ever wanted.

"Yes, yes, yes," Kara panted, scratching Alex's head as she held on for dear life.

Alex sucked and licked and when she felt Kara come in her mouth, she was certain she would explode. Kara sighed and relaxed against the pillows as Alex moved to her knees. She twitched something fierce as Kara watched her with hooded eyes as she slipped on the condom with more determination than she thought possible. She leaned down and positioned herself, but did not move. She locked eyes with Kara, who nodded as she wrapped her arms around Alex's neck.

"I love you," Kara whispered.

"I love you, too." Alex felt tears prick her eyes, like she was overwhelmed. It did not matter. She was right where she wanted to be.

Reaching between them, Alex grabbed herself and nudged Kara's clit. Kara moaned and moved with her. Alex had to release a breath she did not know she was holding as Kara rubbed against her.

"Kara, I need you to hold still for a moment," Alex begged. If Kara kept moving against her, she would not even make it inside.

Kara groaned. "But, it's so hard."

 _Yes, it is_. Alex managed to keep from saying that as she eased into Kara, earning a long moan from her. Alex moaned as well. It was not the same as being with Kara during her rut with nothing between them, but it was still glorious. In fact, she saw stars. It was a minor miracle she did not blow upon entry.

"Fuck, Kara," Alex groaned, hips pumping of their own accord.

"Yes, please. Oh, please, yes," Kara panted in her ear, clutched her shoulders, and moved with her.

Alex leaned down, needing a kiss as she rocked her hips. The alpha part of her, and a maybe a little bit of regular her, wanted to pound into Kara, but she held off. A bigger part of her wanted to be able to savor this moment until the end of time, wanted to be gentle with Kara when the rest of the world, no universe was so rough with her. So, she kept the kiss light and her strokes slow, but deep.

"I wanna be so good for you," Alex whispered. She wanted to be there for Kara in every way possible.

Kara wrapped herself around Alex, arms and legs, clutched Alex to her. "You are. You are. My bond-mate."

 _Mate_. Alex's inner alpha relaxed at the thought rather than roared at it. It sealed cracks inside of her and settled her soul in place for the first time in a long time. She was able to keep her calm pace, focus on Kara's pleasure. Every bit of Kara sent a ripple of ecstasy through her with each leisure stroke. Soon, every nerve in her body begged her to finish.

Each of the little sounds Kara made as she pulsed and gripped Alex made it that much harder to keep from climaxing. It did not help that Alex's body felt like it was about to explode whenever Kara dug her nails into Alex's shoulders. As she felt all the pressure build, she went in for another kiss, hoping it would help her focus. Instead, her dick jumped as Kara's tongue caressed her own and she came with a loud groan. _Fuck_.

Kara whimpered as Alex collapsed on her, but Kara refused to let her go. Kara peppered her skin with sweet kisses as she caught her breath. _You do realize you're pretty worthless as an alpha, right? Your mate didn't even come from that_. Alex was not about to let her inner alpha ruin this for her.

"Give me a second and I'll finish you with my mouth," Alex said. A delight for both of them. She had learned throughout her adult life that there was more than one way to give an orgasm. And the thought of worshipping Kara with her tongue once more was enough to make her cock twitch.

Kara moaned a little. "No, no, no. Don't move. I really like your weight on me and just feeling you inside of me is more than enough. Besides, this isn't it for tonight, is it?" she asked with a little bit of her brattiness.

Alex laughed. "No, definitely not. I'm sorry it took this long." She nuzzled Kara's neck to drive home the apology. Rubbing her nose in Kara's neck, she felt like the scent of their lovemaking could make her float away. Kara smelled of her. Kara was hers and one day she would leave her mark on this very neck.

"I'm not. I want you to be comfortable. I'm willing to do anything for you, bond-mate." Kara leaned down enough to kiss her, a soft press of lips.

"I like the sound of that." Alex would do everything in her power to be a good mate for Kara, to Kara. She was not ashamed of this, of them. This felt right. It was not just because of her rut. It was not just hormones. She loved Kara, as a mate, and would care for her as a mate forever and always.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Kara tries to learn more about human sex.

Feel free to let me know if there's something you'd like to see in this story. It might make it in. And come say hi to me on Facebook.


	3. Falling into the Deep End

I don't own these characters; DC does.

A/N: just a reminder, folks, this is an omegaverse story, featuring Alex as an alpha and she has a penis. A penis she will put to use.

3: Falling into the Deep End

Alex yawned as she woke up to the sound of birds chirping rather than her alarm. She had never really needed an alarm, but always set one just in case, even when she was staying over at Kara's place, which was more and more often lately. The more she stayed, the more comfortable she became with their relationship, so Kara always encouraged her to stay and she always obliged. Now, two months into this new, evolved relationship, Alex felt comfortable in her own skin. It was a first.

With thoughts of their relationship dancing in her mind, Alex reached out for Kara, wondering how she escaped their spooning without waking Alex. Of course, Alex was wiped out after last night. It was tiring to satisfy a Krypton, but Alex liked to think she had the stamina for the job. She also had the desire and the will. And thinking about it gave her more desire.

"To think, a month ago, this would've disgusted me," she muttered to herself as memories of last night played through her head. It was then she realized she had morning wood. Not too long ago, that would have annoyed her, but now it made her smile. "Hmm… maybe I can get an encore." The very idea made her purr. Time to find Kara.

Alex got out of bed and followed the smell of fresh coffee to find Kara at the kitchen counter. Kara was dressed in nothing but a t-shirt with her back to Alex, so Alex could not tell what Kara was doing, not that it mattered. She went up behind and nuzzled Kara's warm neck while wrapping her arms around her waist. Kara let out a pleased groan.

"Good morning," Kara said, the usual smile in her voice.

"It will be in a second." Alex kissed Kara's neck.

A little whimper escaped Kara and then she cleared her throat. "I'm making us breakfast. Egg sandwiches on bagels."

"I have something else in mind." She placed another kiss to Kara's neck.

"Oh, what do you have in mind?" It was clear that usual smile in Kara's voice was now a smirk on her face.

Alex's hands went to Kara's abdomen, pushing against the soft cotton of the shirt, and eased down, stopping at the hem. Kara leaned back, pressing against her. She pushed back and found herself moving Kara with ease. Was Kara still wearing the bracelet?

"You didn't take off the Kryptonite bracelet?" Alex asked, mouth close to Kara's ear. That was dangerous and she talked to Kara about that several times already. Sexy time was about to turn into lecture time if she had to repeat herself once again.

"I put it back on when I woke up," Kara answered as Alex dragged her teeth down Kara's creamy neck.

That was a bit of a relief, but she still did not like how often and how long Kara wore the bracelet. She knew Kara would not like another lecture and she was not in the mood to give one just yet now that she was aware Kara had at least taken the damn thing off at some point. "Were you hoping for this?"

Kara chuckled. "I've gotten to the point where I'm always hoping for this. You feel so good to me."

Alex preened on the inside and her hands went under Kara's shirt to discover she was bare beneath. The thought of Kara standing there, waiting for her, wanting her, it made her even harder. She jumped in her shorts as she kissed Kara's neck again. Kara pushed her ass against Alex, rubbing up against an already straining erection.

"Alex," Kara whined, reaching back with one hand to pull Alex closer.

"Yes, Kara." Alex eased on hand down in between Kara's legs. She found Kara more than aroused for her, ready for her. The feel of Kara always sent the most delightful shivers through her, making her nerves dance. The sounds Kara made as she caressed her, panting softly, moaning just under her breath, made every bit of Alex tingle with desire.

"We have… we have… we have work," Kara seemed to remind her, even as her hips rocked in time with Alex's finger.

"I can be late," Alex replied, just to be an asshole. She could be late, but Kara could not.

Kara just let out a long whine and pushed back against Alex. She had absolutely no range in being late. If she came in at 8:31, Cat would be on her for the entire day. Alex took mercy on her, gently stroking her clit. Kara moaned and threw her head back. Alex kissed her neck and her cheek. Kara turned her head, trying to get a proper kiss.

"Hold still and I'll give you everything you want," Alex said.

"Please," Kara replied, hips moving with more urgency against Alex's finger.

Alex doubted she would ever get used to Kara begging her, but she adored the sound. The way it made sparks shoot down her spine, she could understand why only a month after having intimacy issues, she was all in with having sex with Kara, with making Kara feel good, any time, anywhere. She wanted to spend hours, days, weeks, all their lives pleasing Kara, making her feel good, making her feel loved.

"Alex, please. We don't have much time," Kara said with a whimper at the end.

Alex knew that to be true and slipped a finger into Kara. They both moaned and Kara pulsed around Alex's digit. _She's so fucking tight_. Alex's cock felt like it might explode as she was certain every drop of blood in her body was in her erection as she stroked Kara with one and then two fingers. Kara's soft moans did not help, nor did the way she pawed at Alex, as if trying to get Alex even closer.

"Alex, I need you. I need more of you, all of you. Please." Kara let loose a long whine, hand clutching Alex's tank top.

"I know. I need you, too," Alex panted in Kara's ear before giving it a kiss. Kara groaned.

Alex pushed down her shorts, reached between them, and lined herself up with Kara. She slide through Kara's wetness, rocking back and forth like the ocean current. Kara whined like a starved kitten and Alex pushed inside. The whine turned into a loud cry. Alex groaned into Kara's warm flesh, feeling ecstasy flood her system immediately. Kara's head fell Alex's shoulder as Alex pumped into her with everything she had.

"Rao, you feel so good, Alex!" Kara kissed whatever part of Alex she could reach as she pulled at Alex's shirt.

Alex grunted and tried to keep the angle right, but it failed her the more Kara leaned into her. She pressed a hand to the middle of Kara's back, gently shoving her forward. Kara understood well enough, bending over and grabbing the kitchen counter. Alex was able to go deeper. They both released a deep moan as Kara pushed back.

"Fuck," Alex found herself groaning.

"Yes!"

Alex never would have thought Kara was such a sexual creature, but then again she never thought of herself that way either. Yet, here they were, fucking like bunnies. Things had been like that for the past month and neither of them would complain.

Alex grabbed hold of Kara's hips and tugged Kara to her with vigor. It was like Kara flooded her senses, took over her whole world, and swallowed her, but in a wonderful way. Being surrounded by Kara, loved by Kara, was what she used to imagine touching the sky was like. But, she had touched the sky and it could not match touching Kara. Kara was everything.

Kara's head dropped and she pressed back into Alex as best she could. Alex could hardly stand as Kara's body embrace her, hugged her, fluttered and pulsed around her. _It's like she was made for me_. Alex would do everything in her power to show how much she treasured and cared for Kara.

"You feel so good. I love fucking you," Alex panted as she plunged in and out of Kara's welcoming form. Not too long ago, she would have been embarrassed and ashamed to say such a thing. Apparently, constant sex did away with most of her filter, at least during the act anyway.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Kara panted, reaching back and clawing at Alex's shirt. She clutched the fabric, yanking Alex. If she did not have on the kryptonite bracelet, she would have probably jerked Alex to the floor.

"You close?" Alex could feel the answer to that question, learning the intimacies of Kara's body over the course of weeks of love-making. Each ripple of Kara's walls spoke to her, told her exactly what she was doing or what Kara needed.

Kara's response was to let Alex go and put her hand between her legs. Alex's inner alpha flared and she growled. She moved Kara's hand out of the way and caressed Kara's clit. Kara exploded around her and she followed right along, blowing inside of Kara. She resisted the urge to push her knot inside, trying her best to fight the memory of how good it felt to have Kara locked around her, as they definitely did not have time for that. Kara fell against the counter, gasping for air. Alex leaned into her back, breathing just as hard.

"That's the perfect way to start the day. Can we do that every day?" Kara asked, still huffing and puffing. She did not move from the counter either.

"We do that every day," Alex reminded her, which was one of the reasons she was so comfortable approaching Kara this morning. Maybe they did not do it every day in the kitchen or in the morning, but they made love at least once a day.

"Right. Twice a day then."

Alex laughed. "I'm not sure we have time for that since you have to go to work. I'm going to…" She found herself unable to say the words. Even though she had gotten more comfortable with the act of sex, conversations about it were still awkward to her, unless the conversation happened while they had sex. Then, she found words spewed from her like she would not mortified the second the act was over.

Kara nodded and Alex eased out of her, eyes ready for what she knew was obscene, but she had to watch as some of her release oozed out of Kara. It made her knot throb with desire and some anger. None of her should go to waste. She should have knotted her mate, but she knew that was her inner alpha. Her inner alpha also thought she should have gotten Kara pregnant by now, so what did it know?

"I need to shower and you need to take that bracelet off," Alex said, pulling her shorts back up.

Kara sighed. "But, what if I want to get in the shower with you?"

"Take the bracelet off, Kara. We've talked about this."

"I feel fine, though."

"It doesn't mean it's not poisoning you. In fact, you should come by the lab today for me to do a check."

Kara groaned. "Can't you just do it here and then take my blood and stuff to the lab?"

"You don't want to go to the lab?"

A pout fell onto Kara's face and she wrapped her arms around her chest. "I hate feeling like a science experiment. I know you don't mean it that way, but when we're in a lab and you're poking me with stuff, I feel like that alien autopsy."

Alex had no idea and went to hug Kara. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to feel that way."

"I know, but in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking about how I'm not human and all the alien feelings around don't help and sometimes things help bring it to the forefront in not a good way."

Alex nodded. "Okay. No more lab, unless you're just visiting me."

Kara nodded, smiled, and kissed her cheek. They broke apart after that. Alex definitely needed a shower and Kara was probably going to eat at least three of those egg sandwiches she made before Alex had a chance to try one. Hopefully, Kara would also clean the mess on the floor.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara made it to work on time without flying or super speed. Well, her own super speed anyway. Alex liked riding her on the motorcycle and she liked it, as it was close to flying. She gained an understanding as to why Alex liked her bike so much and Kara loved any excuse to ride with her now. Being pressed against Alex was a plus, even with her powers in the way. She went into work grinning. She could feel the giant, bright expression threatening to split her cheeks open, but she did not care.

"It's not fair that you're so happy all the time, especially this early in the flipping morning," Winn grumbled from his desk.

Kara chuckled. "You could be happy, too, if you changed your perspective of the world." _Or had sex in the morning or right before bed every single night with the woman you loved with all your heart and soul. My bond-mate_. The thought made her smile even more, which even she did not think was possible.

Winn groaned and rolled his eyes. Kara only laughed and threw herself into her chair, into her work. She was happy because of her morning, but also what she knew was coming. Ever since Alex accepted the idea of them dating, she had shown a romantic side she probably did not realize she had. Or maybe it was the protective side evolving into something more. Kara was not sure and she did not think too much about it because whatever it was it meant donuts every morning, like clockwork.

Thirty minutes after Alex dropped her off, Alex popped back up with two boxes of donuts and beverages. Kara got an entire box of her favorite donuts, which was basically all of them, and hot chocolate. Then, the ladies right across from her desk were also subject to Alex's generosity, mostly due to location. This happened after one day Alex heard Meghan Jordan complain about never being able to get breakfast because traffic was always awful and her two desk-mates and design partners concurred. Alex now knew their orders almost as well as she knew Kara's. So, they had their favorite donuts, coffee, tea, and strawberry smoothie. Alex could be so sweet when given the chance.

"Stay out of trouble for the next three hours and we should be able to have lunch together," Alex said to Kara.

Kara scoffed. "I could easily tell you the same thing."

Alex rolled her eyes. "At least I carry a badge for the trouble I get into." She leaned down and gave Kara a chaste kiss on her cheek, the most they would ever do in the office.

Kara giggled and Alex was on her way out. She halted by Winn's desk, giving him a bag. She may or may not have gotten him breakfast. Sometimes, it looked like Alex was making an effort with Winn, which Kara thought was sweet. And then there were times when Alex was definitely annoyed with Winn and was probably resisting the urge to hurt him. She was drawn out of those thoughts as the ladies who sat closest to her started going for their donuts.

"Kara, you have the sweetest girlfriend ever! I never had a partner who brought not just me my favorite food every morning, but the people who sit closest to me as well," Meghan, who sat right across from her, said with a smile as she grabbed a chocolate donut.

"You make sure you keep that alpha happy before some loose omega comes along," Angela Reyes chimed in, wheeling herself over to grab her Boston cream donut and tea. She was a little older than Meghan and seemed to think of herself as the "den mother" between her two partners.

Kara blinked. How did they know Alex was an alpha? And what did it mean to keep her happy before an omega comes along? Why did that omega have to be loose? What the heck did omegas have to do with it point blank?

"I'd definitely tempt her with my omega wiles," Crystal Robertson said with a sway of her thick hips as she went for her donut. The rest of the box was for whoever might want one. "Just the fact that she has money to waste on a dozen donuts every day to make you happy is more the enough for me bat my eyes at her a little every now and then. Maybe give her a little sashay of my hips, in case she missed how nice my figure is. How could I 'accidentally' rub my amazing ass against her?"

Meghan groaned. "Could you not be such a stereotype right now? Some omegas would like not to be thought of as cock-hungry alpha chasers."

"I am not one of them," Crystal replied with a proud grin. "And that it is one sexy alpha. Just her energy alone makes me shiver. Could you imagine having her bend you over a desk and giving you what for?"

Kara swallowed as she felt her cheeks heat up, thinking about how Alex bent her over that very morning. Was that some alpha thing? She mentally groaned. _Why didn't I pay more attention in that stupid sex class in high school?_

Angela swatted at Crystal, barely brushing against her shoulder, but getting the point across. "Cut that out. How disrespectful are you right now to talk about Kara's girlfriend like that with Kara right here?"

Crystal's face dropped. "I'm sorry, Kara. I meant it as a compliment, really. You're lucky to have hooked such a considerate alpha. I mean, especially when they just radiate raw alpha power like that, they're usually assholes."

Kara was not sure what that meant, but she wondered how many people actually looked at Alex the same way Crystal did. She typically tried not to use her powers at work. There was always a din around the office and, like most places, it would only give her a headache to hear all the jumbled noise of the place. But, now, she was curious, so she gave a listen, wanting to know if anyone else was talking about Alex like Crystal was.

"She walks in here like she's going to fuck Kara on the desk." _What is with everyone and the damn desk sex?_ Not to say it was not intriguing, but she did not want other people thinking about Alex making love to her on the desk, or worse thinking about Alex fucking them on a desk.

"I'd let her fuck me on my desk." There was a giggle. "But, she's gotta wear the leather jacket."

"Those alpha pheromones are doing all sorts of crazy things to my hormones."

"Isn't Kara a beta? What the hell would she know what to with that much alpha?"

"Do we know for sure she's dating Kara? I wanna ask her out."

"Funny, I wanna let her walk on my back with those boots."

Kara's felt her cheeks heat up and decided it was best not to eavesdrop. She could feel some jealousy burn in her belly as well. Who were these people who wanted Alex? Alex was hers.

"Keira," Miss Grant called her.

Kara was up and in the office, finding Cat at her desk, eyes glued to her computer. "Yes, Miss Grant?"

"Have you booked the venue?" Miss Grant started rattling off the tasks she had only given Kara forty-five minutes ago. "Got the interview lined up? And made sure my lunch was canceled?"

Kara help up her tablet. "Venue booked. Interview lined up exactly how you want it, but he's asking for a special chair to sit in. I'm hunting it down already. Your lunch was canceled and I booked the spa for you instead." The last one was done without prompting, as she learned whenever Miss Grant canceled lunch, it was typically because she was tense and a massage helped before she got too grumpy.

Miss Grant made a noise, not a grunt, just a sound. "Good work."

"I'm going to get started on checking on production if you want me to."

Miss Grant dismissed her with wave of her hand. "Oh, and Kiera."

"Yes?"

"If the daily donuts are going to become a problem, it'll have to stop."

Kara's eyes went wide. "But, they're not a problem. I got my work done." She got more than her assignments done in less than an hour. "Donuts help."

"Maybe for you. I need Meghan, Angela, and Crystal to do their work. The extra food seems to distract them." Sometimes, Kara was certain Cat had the floor bugged. How else did she know when everyone was up to shenanigans when she did not leave her office?

Kara caught a pout. "Alex is just trying to be nice. Sometimes, they don't have breakfast and she has the time to get it to them."

"They are three adult women. I'm sure they can take care of themselves, as they were doing long before donuts started showing up."

"But, donuts are delicious." Maybe Cat would feel better if she got donuts, too. Maybe that was actually the problem. It would stay a problem, if that was the case, as Kara was not giving up any of her donuts.

"Distraction is unacceptable."

Kara pouted, but nodded to show she understood, not just the words, but the underlying message. And she was certain in her own prickly way Miss Grant was trying to help. It would seem a lot of the office was attracted to Alex, men and women alike. Kara could already feel the kindling of jealousy and anger over it. It would probably only get worse if Alex continued on and people got more comfortable and used to seeing her around.

"Besides, tell her she should save her money to take you out somewhere special and nice once a month. That's what a true alpha would do," Miss Grant said as Kara got to the door.

Kara never thought of that, but that would be nice. It was already expensive to feed her anyway, but to try to be nice to her coworkers would probably hurt Alex's wallet eventually. She went back to her desk and tried to focus on her computer, but could feel her face was pinched.

"Everything okay, Kara?" Meghan asked from her desk.

Kara shrugged. "I guess. I just don't think Miss Grant is happy with our daily donut delivery." She wanted them to know when the donuts stopped it was not because Alex did not think they deserved them anymore. Alex was being so nice, she did not want it to go to waste.

"Probably because someone is talking about tempting alphas with their omega wiles," Angela said and cut her eyes to Crystal.

Crystal scoffed. "Or maybe there was one too many alphas around."

"And such a shame none of them fucking you," Meghan said.

Crystal's lip curled up. "Is that necessary?"

"I don't know, is your constant use of omega stereotypes necessary? Some of us can control ourselves around powerful alphas and do our jobs and be successful in our right," Meghan replied.

"Can we not have this discussion right now? We actually have a project to finish and if we don't, we'll be seeing quite a few stereotype defying omegas and maybe even an alpha or two we don't want to see as they all remind us how replaceable we are," Angela pointed out.

Kara decided to tune them out, but it was hard. The idea of alphas and omegas stayed on her mind. There were omegas all around her office openly discussing how they would throw themselves at Alex because she was this powerful alpha. Kara was not even sure what that meant beyond Alex's anatomy. Yes, she knew Alex's scent was different and tempting, but she thought that was just to her sensitive nose and the fact that Alex was her bond-mate. From what she could hear, though, others smelled it. Others sensed Alex's power. Others wanted what was hers.

What if Alex wanted others? Apparently, alphas liked omegas. Kara was not an omega, beyond what was between her legs anyway. What else was there about alphas and omegas? Why did people think she was a beta? Did alphas and betas not match like alphas and omegas? She really wished she paid attention in sex education.

"Hey, Kara," Winn said, suddenly standing in front of her.

Kara blinked. "Huh?"

"Hey, I just wanted to remind you I'm only here for half the day. You okay?" Winn asked.

Kara glanced around for a moment and then shot out of her seat. "I need to talk to you really quick."

Winn made a face and she could hear his heart rate spike for a second. She was not sure what that was about, as Winn did not usually get nervous to talk to her. But, then again, she had just come out of Miss Grant's office and then said she needed to talk to him, so it was possible he thought Miss Grant said something about him. But, he should not be worried about that. Miss Grant recognized talent, especially with Winn, to the point where when he tried to resign because the DEO offered him a position, Miss Grant got him to agree to part-time at CatCo.

They went up the roof, as they often did to talk. Winn's anxious behavior did not cease and Kara frowned. Maybe Alex had said something to him and that was troubling. But, that did not make any sense. Alex had brought him breakfast when he was at CatCo, so she thought they were getting along.

"Winn, are you okay?" Kara asked.

"Yes!" His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "I mean, yeah. What's up?"

Kara arched an eyebrow, but decided not to question him right now. He would tell her when he was ready or when he needed her. Right now, she needed him.

"I need to ask you something," Kara said.

Winn took a deep breath. "Okay."

"So, you're an omega, right?"

Winn's face did about a hundred expressions in a couple of seconds and turned several different shades of red as well. He was horrified, shocked, and embarrassed for the longest out of them all. His heart went wild and even his scent panicked for a moment. Kara was not sure why he reacted like that.

"You don't just go blurting that out!" He waved his hands around like a mad man.

Kara flinched. "I didn't know that. Crystal blurts it out all the time."

"Okay, Kara, sexual status is kinda just like sex. Some people are more open about it than others."

Kara nodded. Okay, that made some sense to her. She had learned that about humans. She knew it differed from culture to culture, but also from human to human. Hell, she did not know about Alex's status until her rut. But, she still did not understand what exactly the rut was or what Alex being an alpha meant beyond the physical aspects. She needed help before some omega came around and used their omega wiles or whatever Crystal was talking about. She did not want to lose her bond-mate because of her own ignorance.

"Okay, sorry. I'm just trying to understand the alpha and omega thing and I thought you'd be able to tell me about it," Kara explained.

Winn looked worried, eyes shifting off to the distance and he shook his head. "I don't really want to talk about this with you. It's weird."

"But, I don't want to know the sex stuff!" That should make it better, right? The sex part was the embarrassing thing, or so she assumed. _Why are humans so weird about this anyway? It's just sex, something you do for pleasure, and procreation for humans anyway. Why is that weird?_

He waved his hands again. "Yeah, but it's still weird. I mean, did you have sex ed in high school?"

"I did, but I couldn't pay attention because I was still learning to ignore all the stuff my powers picked up." Who knew learning something ten years ago might help her keep a hold onto her mate or at least learn ways of pleasing her mate?

He blew out a breath. "Yeah, I know. Is this because everyone around the office is saying Alex is your girlfriend?"

It was Kara's turn to frown. She and Alex had not actually told anyone they were together yet. The office assumed because Alex's sudden and often appearance as well as the small moments of affection. They had not talked about when or how they would tell anyone. In fact, she had not even thought about that. _Has Alex thought of that?_

"Look, don't listen to office gossip and everything. They think anyone who struts around the place with their head held high is some kinda mega-alpha and they'll always drool over them. Alex is like a super-mega-alpha," Winn said.

"You can tell she's an alpha?" Kara scratched her forehead.

Winn blew out a long breath. "You really need to take a basic sex ed course. There are books you can buy and stuff like that. Hell, you can watch porn." Kara made a choking noise and Winn paced. "I mean, don't do that! Just don't ask me about stuff like this, okay? It's really personal, especially a male omega."

Kara was not sure what the difference was between a male omega and a female omega, but Winn was uncomfortable and she did not want to make it worse. Maybe there were websites she could check or ebooks. She would have to do some research, which she had no problem with.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," Kara replied.

"I understand. Why are you so interested in the alpha/omega thing, though? Is it because of everyone lusting after your sister?" Winn threw a teasing smile her way and she winced. "Hey, sorry if that makes you uncomfortable."

Kara was glad he misunderstood why she flinched. She and Alex really needed to consider when they might start telling people, so she did not have to hear Winn or anyone else call Alex her sister. If it freaked her out, she could only wonder how Alex reacted over it.

"Have you been attracted to Alex before?" Kara asked as they made their way back into the building.

Winn scoffed. "She terrifies me way too much."

"She's been being nice to you."

"Yeah, she has. But, in the beginning, when I would've been attracted to her like everyone else is, she scared the crap out of me. Hell, even sometimes at work, she scares the piss out of me. She just radiates this 'I will snap you in half and then snap those halves in half' air that is completely scary."

Kara chuckled. "I've never look at it that way."

He gave her a half-smirk. "Yeah, because you're never on that side of it. Whenever she's about to kill someone, it's to protect you, so you don't have to worry about her snapping you in half."

"It's funny you think she can do that."

"It's telling you _don't_ think she can."

Kara was not sure what he meant by that, but was certain it had something to do with him finding Alex so terrifying. But, then again, she was not too sure about many things with Winn right now, like why he was leaving early today. Until a few days ago, he was scheduled for the whole day at CatCo, now he was not. Something must have come up at the DEO and she would ask him about it later, when he was not freaked out over sex-related things. They went back to their desks and Kara got some more work done, just trying to get ahead because the moment she had time to spare, she began her research.

After the little time she had to herself, she found out some things, but it did not help much. She knew humans had many different genders, three sexual statuses, and two sexes. She did not understand how the different genders broke down. On Krypton, even though she liked to say they had two sexes and genders, they did not really have genders. There were not things seen as "female" and "male," except when it came to sex, as one had eggs and the other had sperm. Beyond that, everyone was treated pretty much the same. Humans, not so much.

She decided to skip over genders and sex for the moment. She might double-back when she understood what was important to figure out why Winn was bothered being a male omega. Alex was a woman and identified as such, but she was an alpha. The alpha thing seemed very important, especially when it came to omegas, like they were a matched pair. They were attracted to each other's scents, pumped out all sorts of sex pheromones around each other to entice each other all the more, and behaved in ways to complement each other. The little bit of knowledge did not make her feel better, even though she could relate to omegas somewhat.

After all, she pumped out sex pheromones around Alex. Kryptonians did that for their bond-mates and it would seem humans did something similar. She would have to remember that the next time Alex called it "sex pollen." But, this little bit of knowledge did not help.

Her research seemed to suggest that since Alex was an alpha, she would best like an omega. Kara was not an omega, even with the pheromones. So many others things went into being an omega and she did not know how to behave like one and doubted she could learn. She would not know where to begin on finding out more about them beyond literature since Winn was bothered about talking about it. Before she could properly freak out over it, Miss Grant called her into the office to bark orders at her.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex was in her lab, studying a hair sample she managed to get from Kara that morning. She wanted to see if the hair could track how long Kara had been exposed to kryptonite in the same way doctors could use hair to test for poison exposure and drug use. She glanced at the clock and realized Winn was due to arrive soon. He texted her to let her know he had more time to spare than he thought, which was good as they would need all the time they could get. She would have to cancel lunch. She grabbed her phone and called Kara.

"Hey, Alex!" Kara chirped. Ever since they started dating, Kara sounded even happier to hear from her, which made her heart want to float away most of the time. Right now, it felt like a shot in the heart.

"Hi. I know this is last minute, but I need to cancel lunch with you."

"Aw, but I've been so good today. No trouble and everything."

Alex laughed. "I'm sorry. I have this work to do. I'm looking at your hair right now and I'm not liking the exposure to kryptonite that I can see."

Kara gasped. "Am I gonna die?"

Alex could feel her brow wrinkle. "Kara, I think we both know I'd be a lot more frantic if you were going to die from this. You can't wear the bracelet every day, though." _As I keep telling her and she refuses to listen_. This would not be a problem soon enough.

"But, I wanna feel you." The pout could be heard in her voice.

"I know. I'll think of something, but we need to take a break from bracelet use. I'll see what your blood shows and plan from there." If everything worked out, they might never need the bracelet again, which was good.

Kara sighed. "Fine."

"See you later. I love you."

"Love you, too."

They both hung up and Alex glanced back at her slide. She did not like what she saw. It was not terrible, but it had the potential to be. She definitely could not allow Kara to wear that bracelet for much longer. It probably would not kill her, but she could get sick or suffer other side effects. _Good thing I already have a plan B_.

She heard the door to the lab open and she looked up from the microscope again. She expected to see Winn, but it was Lucy. She arched an eyebrow.

"What's up? I'm not missing a meeting again, am I? Hank won't let me live it down if I miss another one because I'm stuck staring down the microscope," Alex said. She did not think she got wrapped up in her work often, but she had missed several meetings while locked away in her lab. Time just got away from her.

"No, there's no meeting. I just came to ask when are you going to keep your promise to me," Lucy inquired with a smirk.

Alex huffed. "You have to get Vasquez to agree. Every time I approach her with the idea, she doesn't want to do it."

"Damn, Danvers. What did you do to her?"

Alex's shoulders dropped. "The last time she got on the mat with me, I was about to go into my rut. It wasn't pretty." It was so horrible Vasquez actually refused to talk to her for week. It took months to convince her to go out for beers again. She understood. She hurt Vasquez really bad during that session.

"I can imagine. I guess I'll talk to her. I've been dying to see this."

"Any particular reason why?" Alex did not understand why Lucy would get off to her sparring with Vasquez.

"Do you really want to know?" Lucy countered, as they both knew Alex was prudish to a fault, even now.

Alex shook her head. She already knew more about Vasquez than she needed to and that was just from sparring with her. Even though they pretended nothing happened, she would never forget how quickly Vasquez got hard when she pinned Vasquez to the mat once.

"Look, she's willing to meet me in the gym tomorrow at lunch and I'll tell her it's to spar with you while I watch, so she doesn't think you're near your rut again and about to kill her," Lucy explained.

Alex sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt her." Her voice cracked in a way she did not like, but very much meant.

"I'm sure she knows that and probably had a much better understanding of how it happened after seeing you a couple of months ago. She still hangs out with you and everything, after all."

Alex nodded. "Have you told her about me and Kara? That way she knows it's not something she'll ever have to worry about again."

Lucy screwed her face up. "Uh… no. You have to tell her about you and Kara. Have you two told anyone?"

"No." Alex's shoulders dropped. "We haven't even discussed the possibility of telling people. I think we've been wrapped up in a little cocoon." Whenever they were home together, they might as well be the only two people in the universe. She was fine with that.

"Well, you might want to come out of the cocoon sometime soon, especially to Hank. I mean, just so he doesn't feel insulted when it all comes out. I doubt he's going to take it any type of way beyond why you didn't tell him about this, anyway."

Alex nodded, as that was true. Knowing Hank, he probably knew about her feelings for Kara and did not say anything because he wanted her to come to grips with it. She would have to talk to Kara about it.

"Are you… I mean, you've come to grips with your feelings for Kara, right?" Lucy asked, squinting a bit from concern.

"Oh, yeah. I'm okay with that and with the relationship and things are going better than I could've imagined."

"Then, why not tell people? I know you're not worried about what people think."

Alex shook her head. No, all of her negative feelings always came from within her. She did not have time to worry about what other people thought of her. There was really only one person who mattered and they would have to tell her eventually. It would be her mother's reaction that tore into her, not anyone else's. That would destroy her. It would put her back on the path she had been on before and end the way she always knew things would end. She would end. Maybe that was why she liked the cocoon.

"So, yeah, why not tell people? Or at least act like a couple in front of people?" Lucy asked.

Alex arched an eyebrow and regarded Lane like the crazy person she certainly was. "We do."

Lucy laughed. "No, you don't."

Alex frowned a little. "We don't act like a couple when she's Supergirl because we don't want people to realize I'm with Kara and act like a couple with Supergirl, too." So, they basically did not act like a couple when Kara visited her at the DEO, which was fine. This was her job, after all.

Lucy shook her head. "Okay, but you don't act like a couple when she's Kara either."

"We do. I go up to her job everyday. I bring her donuts. You should see her face light up, like I've got diamonds in my arms."

"I know. I'm still surprised Cat lets that fly."

Alex nodded. Every day she waited for security to stop her at the door and find out that Cat banned any and all donuts because they made Kara too happy. "I'm sure it won't be for too long. She's probably letting me get away with it because Kara's a big puppy and I understand Cat likes to act like she doesn't think highly of Kara, but I've seen her worry over Kara sometimes."

Lucy chuckled. "I've seen it, too. There are benefits of being a puppy, even the hardest of hard-asses will crumble."

"Who decided to make her so adorable?"

Another chuckle escaped Lucy. "I hope you're not worried about Cat wanting her or something."

"No. That never even crossed my mind." She accepted Cat saw herself as mentor for Kara. She just did not like the way Cat went about it. But, who was she to judge? Cat helped many other young women climb their way to success. So, why not let her help Kara? "I just think, like you said, her being a puppy crumbles all to her will and that's probably why Cat lets me do the donut thing. Could you imagine trying to tell Kara to stop doing something while she's eating a donut?"

"We might need to figure out a way to weaponize that."

"I think she already has."

Lucy shook her head and laughed more. "That's sweet that you bring her donuts. Still, that could be interpreted as you being the annoyingly good big sister you are. Unless you kiss her with tongue in front of people, it's probably taken as you doing the sister thing."

Alex's face twisted. "I'm not tongue kissing her in front of people." She was not into public displays, ever. Her love life was not someone's business and she did not want to do something that seemed to invite people into her love life.

"I didn't think you would, so at this point, you two are going to have to actually, verbally tell people."

Alex's face did not fix. "I'll talk to Kara about it." She had no desire to go around telling people Kara was her girlfriend because who would want to have that awkward conversation?

"Okay. So, gym, tomorrow?" Lucy asked.

"If I get this project done on time."

"What are you working on?" Lucy moved a little closer, like she wanted to see.

"Right now, I'm monitoring Kara's exposure to kryptonite."

"How's that going?"

"Not good. It stays in her system for a long time, even when she gets her powers back and has the exposure to the yellow sun to heal her. I'm a little worried this might be like a snake handler who gets bitten several times. They either work up a little immunity or the next bite could be the one that kills them because they've developed an allergic reaction to it."

Lucy blew out her cheeks and clapped her hands. "Okay, this sounds like important work, so I'll leave you to it. I'll call you tomorrow to check how your schedule is looking."

Alex nodded and Lucy was gone at that point. She turned her attention back to her microscope, but did not get to lost into her work. Winn popped in and they had other work to do, which they jumped into immediately.

"How would you feel about installing this in Kara's apartment as well?" Alex asked.

Winn scowled a little. "Why?"

"Sometimes, Kara would just like to relax and be herself without all the powers and everything, like with game night."

"But, isn't that dangerous?"

"Not if we put the same system from the training room in her home, too. It'll be a nice surprise. If she doesn't like it, we'll take it out, okay?"

Winn scratched his chin. "I dunno. I mean, her being powerless at home… What if a villain figures out where she lives and surprises her?"

"Again, this is why we put the same system we're going in the training room. So, there will be alternative lights, voice commands, fail-safes, the whole nine yards. Like I said, if she doesn't like it, we'll take it out. But, I think she'd appreciate a moment where she can breathe easy and not worry about if she's using the right amount of pressure to not destroy something."

Winn thought on it and then sighed. "You're probably right. I just don't like the idea of her being powerless by herself."

"It'll be fine." If she had her way, Kara would never be powerless and by herself. "So, let's get to work."

-8-8-8-8-

Kara rubbed her eyes as she finished up chasing down assistants for Miss Grant. The assistants worked for leads Miss Grant needed for a big story. Now, it was time for lunch. She had looked forward to going out with Alex, but that was not going to happen now. She pouted at the thought.

"Hey, Kara, where's that hot girlfriend of yours? She usually pops in by now to take you to lunch," Meghan commented as she stepped over to Kara's desk.

"She got stuck at work," Kara said, knowing she still had a pout on her face.

"You wanna come out with us?" Angela offered.

"We can all talk about how hot your girlfriend is with all that raw alpha energy," Crystal added.

"Uh… no thanks." Kara did not want to sit with Crystal and hear her talking about being an omega and how she would use that to get Alex.

Crystal frowned a little. "You know I'm only teasing, right? I mean, I admit I'm a little stereotypical as far as being an omega, but it's because I'm not ashamed of myself or of sex. But, I wouldn't try to steal your girlfriend or anything. She's just really hot and makes me tingle is all."

"I know you're teasing, but I'm actually not hungry." Well, not hungry like she generally was. She would eat, but she was more curious about alphas and omegas. She wished she could ask Crystal since she was so open, but she could not let them know she did not know about basic information on human sex. People were already paranoid about aliens. She did not want to raise any red flags.

"You probably ate too many donuts," Angela pointed out.

Kara wagged a finger at her. "There's no such thing as too many donuts." That was the stone cold truth. "It is why I get donuts every day, actually."

"You must have a super wicked workout routine to eat that many donuts and look the way you do," Meghan commented.

"You better make sure you keep that figure, too, unless you want that girlfriend's eyes to start wandering," Crystal said.

Angela groaned. "Could you just stop? For like one line of dialogue don't mention Kara's girlfriend or how hot someone is or banging in general or you being an omega. How about that?"

"Impossible," Crystal replied. "Oh, wait, would that count as one line of dialogue?"

Angela sighed and face-palmed. "Never mind. Kara, are you sure you don't want to go? Your usual partner in crime isn't around." That was probably about Winn. "And your girlfriend is caught up at work. You get a chance to make new friends. Besides, we owe you since we've gotten free donuts and drinks just because of our real estate." She motioned to their desks.

Kara smiled. "That's Alex just being nice. You don't owe me for that. Besides, Miss Grant wasn't happy over it and I think she wants it to stop, so I gotta tell Alex."

"That's possibly the saddest thing I've heard today. I've gotten so used to free donuts and actually eating breakfast." Meghan threw on an exaggerated pout.

Kara chuckled. "It was the saddest thing for me until Alex said she had to work through lunch. Maybe I'll work through lunch."

"Okay, but if you ever want to join us, let us know. We basically have a working lunch as we have to constantly explain to Crystal why we're not going with her thing," Angela remarked.

Crystal rolled her eyes. "My ideas are brilliant. You two are just stuck in your old ways."

They walked away arguing, as they tended to do. It was hard to believe they were a pretty good team. Kara decided to go home for lunch, not to eat, but to continue her research. She grabbed a few emergency sandwiches from the fridge and opened her laptop. Reading different articles had not helped her much in understanding the dynamics between alphas and omegas as far as attraction and desire, except some biological matters like the pheromones used to attract each other. The articles definitely did not help her understand what she might be able to do to keep Alex happy, satisfied, and away from omegas, so she was ready to take a risk she could not take at work.

There were videos and Kara had a feeling not all of them were educational. She started with the ones that were. They gave her the same information as the articles. There was biology and traditions and things like that. Then, there was this idea that an omega was submissive and an alpha domineering, dominating. She understood that on paper, but not in reality. Yeah, Winn was kind of submissive and, yeah, Alex had a personality that took up the room under right conditions, but so did Lucy and Lucy was an omega from what she could tell. Even Crystal was open about her omega status, but she was far from a push-over when she got going. Did this just mean as far as sex went?

Kara would not say that Alex as domineering or dominating in bed. Alex was thoughtful and attentive. She was actually careful with Kara in a way Kara was not used to, but liked. But, then again, several articles said that alphas were protective of their mates. Maybe that was Alex's way of being protective of her, even when they had sex. But, why would the protective thing carry over from Alex's personality into bed, but the domineering-dominating thing not? It was so confusing. And, what did any of that have to do with alphas and omegas being the best pairs?

Time to break out the big guns and see. Kara had only watched porn once and it was by accident. Her powers already gave her too many voyeuristic incidents in one lifetime and she hated the feeling of invading someone's privacy. Intellectually, she knew porn was not like that, but it felt that way. Still, she wanted to understand because she wanted to be able to give Alex things Alex wanted and needed. Alex was an alpha, so in theory she should want what alphas want, which were omegas, especially when it came to sex.

"Okay… so…" Kara typed in "alpha and omega" into the video search and had thousands of videos before her in less than two seconds. She stared at the screen, not sure where to start, so she went with the first one.

There was an attractive woman sitting on the couch and a muscular man stepped into the scene. She imagined porn on Krypton was like this, if there was porn on Krypton. She was too young to think about porn and sex when she left Krypton. Some of that might have stayed with her because she immediately thought this was gross. The couple was making out and the sounds were disgusting. She turned away a few times and then the pair were naked and things did not get better. The man's penis was thicker than Kara expected and she realized all penises must look different because Alex's was nothing like this guy.

Kara stuck it out until the actual sex started and the noises coming out of the woman were too much to bear. The sounds were faker than her boobs. Beyond that, Alex would not act anything like this guy. He was too rough and this seemed very close to a rape with the way he had her pinned down and kept shoving her into the couch cushions. This was beyond gross and she clicked out of it immediately.

"Maybe I need a female alpha…" She amended her search to now cover "female alpha and omega." That helped a little more.

She went through the videos now instead of clicking the first one. She wanted someone with a body type at least like Alex's. She was not sure why since body type did not equal personality. Then, she had to look for a female omega, too. She had not expected so many of the female alphas to be tall, perhaps taller than she was, and a lot of the omega males were like Winn. Eventually, she just went with a video that at least had a female alpha and female omega rather than specific body types.

It turned out not to be much better than the other one with the same aggressive, cringe-worthy feel and fake moans and boobs and all. She did not like this. Were alphas always so mean? The omegas literally bent over and took it, typically while having their faces smashed into a surface, muffling cries and pleas. She did not even want to see what happened when a knot was involved. She slammed her laptop shut and almost broke it.

"Alex is not like that." Alex was nothing like the alphas in the videos. "But, would she like a partner that just did whatever she asked?"

Kara scratched her eyebrow and dared to open the laptop again. Maybe it was only those two videos. Taking a deep breath, she dived back in. She tried three more videos before giving up again and deciding to go back to work. There was no way those videos related to real life. She needed someone real to talk to. But, who?

Halfway to work, she turned around and rushed off to Lucy's office. Lucy jumped in her seat when Kara basically appeared in her office. Kara had the decency to look sheepish. She did not usually use her powers like this, but it was necessary as far as she was concerned.

"Lemme guess, not a social call," Lucy said.

"No, not really."

"And if you're anything like your mate, I'll need food to go along with whatever this is."

"Oh, food!" Kara could eat now that she thought she would get good advice and words of wisdom from an actual omega.

"How long do you have?"

"I can take a while. I've been putting off a few out-of-building errands and I'll just say I was on those."

Lucy blinked. "Wait, you can lie?"

Kara snickered. "Yeah, the smile isn't a truth serum."

"Imagine that." Lucy shrugged.

They were off. Kara was tempted to go by the lab and visit Alex, but she would save that for later. She needed serious information like now. And, while she had a handy excuse for being out past lunch, she could not be out too long.

They went to a nearby restaurant and ordered drinks and some appetizers. Lucy looked at her expectantly and Kara could not help squirm in her seat. Who the hell thought omegas were submissive? Had they not met Lucy?

"Come on, talk. What's bugging you?" Lucy asked.

Kara was not sure where to start, so she would try the beginning. "Well, you know Alex brings me donuts everyday, right?"

"I am aware of the sickeningly sweet tradition. I never miss a chance to make fun of her for it, especially since she brings food for the people who sit close to you just because they sit close to you."

Kara blinked. "Oh, wow. You know a lot about it then."

"Yeah, Alex is easily flustered in emotional situations and just blurts out things that make it worse for her." Lucy smirked.

Kara glared at Lucy, as best she could anyway. "Hey, you shouldn't be evil to Alex."

Lucy sat up tall and proud. "Oh, no, she deserves it from the way I've had to hold her hand while getting you. That woman is impossible sometimes."

Kara chuckled. "She is, but thanks for holding both of our hands and helping get us to where we are."

"I get the feeling I'm going to have to offer a little more help as well."

"Well, I think you're the only person I can talk to about this without it being totally weird for both of us."

"Oh, so it only gets to be weird for me?" Lucy smiled.

Kara laughed. "No, you'll probably be fine with it. It's gonna be weird for me."

"All right. What's up then?"

"So, like I was saying, Alex brings in donuts and stuff for everyone. The ladies across me were talking about how she's an alpha."

"Yeah, Alex screams her status wherever she goes."

"How do they know? I mean, I thought I knew because I have the super thing going on and I can smell it. I was reading up on it and the articles made it seem like everyone can smell it."

Lucy shook her head. "Not everyone. So, Alex does have the smell of an alpha and usually only omegas and other alphas can pick up on it. But, Alex has that air about her anyway, which probably comes from her job. She always seems like she's in control, which is what people expect of alphas."

Kara pursed her lips. "Do people think you're an alpha then?"

"At times, yes, especially if I cover up my scent."

"You can cover the scent?" Maybe she could get Alex to cover the scent and not have to worry about people lusting after her bond-mate.

Lucy nodded. "There are perfumes and other things made especially to block the scent. They're expensive, though. Sometimes, it just works best when everyone assumes you're a beta and therefore don't have the scent of an alpha or omega."

Kara could feel the wrinkles in her forehead get deeper. "But, then doesn't that make the whole thing stupid? I mean, you're not an alpha, but you definitely act like what people think an alpha acts like."

Lucy shrugged. "Well, yes, the whole thing a little stupid. Much of what goes on now is just stereotyping and lots of people defy stereotypes. They claim it's tradition, but they only say that to try to box people in or hold them back."

Kara scratched her chin. "So, are you dating an omega since you're defying stereotypes?"

"Well, no, I can't say I'm doing _that_ much. It's not unheard of in this day and age for omegas to date other omegas and for alphas to date other alphas, though. It used to be taboo not too long ago. I like to think if I ever met an omega I liked, I wouldn't be put off in dating them just because they're an omega, but I have yet to meet such an omega. I happen to be attracted to alphas, but not because of stereotypes. Those are just the personalities I like and they tend to be alphas, but I'm learning that I'm attracted to so much more than that."

Kara's mouth twisted to the side. "You think Alex is attracted to more than that?"

"Is that what this is about? You're worried Alex is attracted to stereotypical omegas?" Lucy asked.

Kara squirmed in her seat a little. "Well, she could be. I mean, you're an omega and you like dating alphas."

"Yeah, but even right now, the alpha I'm seeing is only an alpha when people are looking. She's different at home, like Alex is different with you."

"But, she's really protective of me, like an alpha would be of an omega." Except in porn apparently where alphas bordered on abusive. _Maybe I should've been more specific in my search_.

"I think that's just Alex. I'm sure she was like that long before she presented. You don't have to be an omega for Alex, Kara."

Kara stared at the table for a long moment. "But, how do we know that? I don't know anything about who she's dated in the past."

"So, ask her."

Kara's shoulders dropped. "I know. But, I don't want to end up asking her what she likes in bed." That seemed awkward. Shouldn't a bond-mate know what the other liked? Alex seemed to know what she enjoyed quite a bit.

Lucy's brow furrowed. "Why? That's what a healthy relationship is built on. Look, I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone else. So, I'm dating Vasquez."

Kara gasped. "You are?"

"Okay, that's not the thing I haven't told anyone, not that I've said it aloud to anyone since she's my subordinate, which makes our relationship a little precarious. But, she and I are in a relationship and the only way for us to work is to talk because we both wanted very different things than what we were used to. We also had different expectations of each other at first and we needed to straighten those things out to move forward. I couldn't be happier that we had those talks, even though they were hard in the beginning. You have to talk with Alex, like I know you guys do anyway."

Kara puffed out her cheeks. She and Alex did talk a lot, but there were some things out of bounds. Maybe they had to be in-bounds now. Was that what Lucy meant?

"We don't talk about the sex stuff," Kara admitted.

"Well, now you have to or the relationship is going to suffer for it and I know you both don't want that. So, one of the things you have to start talking about is sex stuff, especially stuff you like. I know it might be hard considering things with Alex."

"She's a lot more comfortable now."

Lucy nodded. "That's good. You have to get comfortable, too. So, whatever questions you might have about alphas and omegas, you should ask her before you come to me. Talk to her, please."

"Okay. I will."

"Did you go to anyone else about this alpha and omega thing?" Lucy asked curiously.

Kara looked away and tried her best not to blush, but completely failed. Lucy snickered and leaned in closer. Kara wanted to run. It was like Lucy could see her thoughts.

"Kara, have you been watching alpha and omega porn?" Lucy asked in a low whisper, but there was a snicker in her tone.

"Where is our food?" Kara sat far back in her seat and made it a show of looking around.

Lucy laughed. "Oh, god, Kara. Don't watch that crap. Or at least don't watch it seriously. I promise you nothing in that crap will help you with Alex."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out. I just… I'm wondering like why alphas and omegas are considered like perfect pairs. I kept reading about how they compliment each other and everything. I don't mean this to sound bad, but James wasn't your perfect compliment, right?"

"No, he was not. It takes more than being an alpha and an omega. This is like saying on Krypton all you had to do was be a man and a woman."

Kara nodded. That one made sense and she had not thought it that way. But, then again, on Krypton, most people did not really pick their bond-mates, just like they did not have their own kids. This was a little uncharted for her.

"I left Krypton at twelve, so I don't really know what goes into relationships there as far as realistically. I mean, I saw my parents and my aunt and Kal's parents, but I was twelve."

"Okay, first off, from now on when you mention where you're from, you say Kansas. We don't know who might be listening."

Kara glanced around quickly. "Being careful probably would be the best thing." She felt like she would be able to tell if someone was listening in, but better safe than sorry. Alex had drilled that into her head enough. "My point is that I was twelve and I just don't know about any of this stuff. Even seeing Alex's parents, I don't quite get it because I was more focus on having just… moved from Kansas."

"I get it, but again, you have to talk to Alex. That's just how it'll be. That will keep your relationship strong and healthy. Do yourself a favor and don't watch any more porn for educational purposes. Porn is all a lie. That's actually one of the things that makes it fun. In fact, eventually, you should watch with Alex. It would be fun for both of you and it could help you talk about sex," Lucy said.

Kara winced. "I don't know if I want to go that far. Do you watch with Vasquez?"

Lucy waved a hand. "You don't want to know what I do with Vas. Trust me."

Kara pouted. "I just want to make sure Alex is satisfied. I mean, she's really generous with me and does literally everything I like."

"Do you like a lot, though, Kara?"

Kara puffed out her cheeks. "Okay, so I'm just learning because I never had sex before, but I'm sure Alex has had a few sexual partners and I want to be good for her."

"Yeah, well, watching porn isn't going to get you there. Talking to Alex will. Trust me."

Kara sighed, but felt like Lucy probably knew what she was talking about. Still, the idea of discussing what Alex liked as far as sex went did not sit well in Kara's chest. She felt like she should just know, like Alex seemed to. Alex was happy to indulge her in anything she asked, even if she had trouble asking for it. Alex never asked her for anything. Hell, sometimes, Alex would refuse a hand job. _Maybe I'm bad at sex_.

"What if I'm bad at sex?" Kara blurted out as their waiter came with their food and drinks. The plates clattered, but to his credit, the waiter did not drop anything.

Lucy laughed. "You'll get better. It's what happens as you and your partner learn each other. Not to mention, I doubt you're bad. Alex isn't even grumpy anymore. We have people placing bets that it's the end of the world. Don't tell her, though."

Kara chuckled, even though it did not make her feel better. "She does a lot for me, but doesn't let me do stuff in return."

"Kara, talk to her about this, not me. You guys have to talk to each other. I cannot stress that enough."

Kara pouted, but it was powerless on Lucy. The conversation was over for the moment and when it picked back up, Lucy wanted to talk about game night and stuff like that. Kara was all for that, but would rather omega advice. Unfortunately, she had to go back to work before she could get that information.

She had time to get her head together, especially when she got a text from Alex requesting she go to Alex's apartment for the night. It was rare they spent time at Alex's place and it would probably remain rare. Alex was not home when she got there.

"Where are you?" Kara texted.

"Working late. Big Project. Just wait there for me. Order something."

That did not make Kara feel better. What if Alex was avoiding her? What if this all went back to her being bad at sex?

-8-8-8-8-

Alex sighed as she came in. That took much longer than she expected, but it would be worth it. She could already picture Kara's face when she saw it. The light that would appear in Kara's eyes made it more than worth it.

"Alex, what happened? Was there an emergency?" Kara asked, rushing her at the door.

"No."

"Was it my blood work? Am I dying?" Kara's bottom lip trembled.

"No, you're not dying, but no more kryptonite bracelet." Eventually, Kara would get ill from the bracelet from what she could tell and who knew what kind of disease it would be.

Kara's lip poked all the way out. "But… I wanna be able to feel you."

"I know, love. I know." Alex wrapped her arms around Kara. It was weird being the shorter one in the couple because she wanted to tuck Kara's head under her chin and kiss the top of her head, like that would make everything better. _You've always been a scrawny little alpha_. Alex was able to shut that voice down immediately now. _Yeah, but Kara still loves me and it has nothing to do with me being an alpha_.

Kara buried her face in Alex's hair. "So, I need the bracelet. I thought you made it so it was safe."

"I thought it was safe, like the radiation from a microwave or TV or something, but it turns out kryptonite stays in your system for a long while, even after you heal from it and even in small doses. I don't want you to end up having a bad reaction one day from the build up."

Kara pouted even more, which Alex expected. She led Kara to the couch and they sat down. Kara curled into her. She kissed the top of Kara's head.

"Kryptonite sucks," Kara grumbled.

"Yes, yes it does. It'll be okay."

Kara sighed. "I guess. This isn't fair. I've waited for this for so long."

"Well, we don't need to have sex to have a successful relationship, right?" Alex asked. Part of it was teasing, but she was curious about Kara's thoughts on the matter. It would not matter to her if they never had sex again, actually. Yes, she would miss it, but being with Kara was more important than having sex.

Kara's eyes went wide and her pout slid firmly in place, possibly to never leave again. "We don't?"

Alex tilted her head. "You think we do?" She was not sure how she felt about that. She could be content to just have Kara with her. Was that not enough for Kara?

"Well, I'm kinda invested now. You're my first time having sex, Alex. Am I so bad you don't care?"

Alex frowned. "What? You're not bad." Where would Kara get a crazy idea like that?

"Obviously I am if you don't think we need sex in our lives." Kara pulled back and glared at her. "You don't want to have sex with me anymore."

"I didn't say that!" Like hell she did not want to have sex anymore. She thought she was being sweet to say she could live without it to support Kara's issue with kryptonite. "I'm just trying to be there for you in your time of need."

Kara moved, so the whole couch was between them. It felt like canyon. "This isn't very supportive. You're making it seem like I'm bad at sex and you're happy to never have to touch me again."

"First off, I can touch you without having sex with you. I've been doing it for half our lives. Second, you're not bad at sex. I very much enjoy having sex with you, which is why we've been doing it every day, but that's also slowly poisoning you because you insist on wearing the damn kryptonite bracelet all the time."

"I want to be ready for you, even if it's not sex. I want to be able to feel your kisses and your hugs and hug you back without consciously measuring things to make sure I don't snap you in half. Can you do without that?"

Alex frowned. "That does not sound fun." Good thing they would not have to live like that. "Still, can't have you poisoning yourself."

"Kryptonite sucks," Kara repeated, her shoulders slumping.

"Yes, it does. Can I cuddle you while we eat?" She needed away from this conversation as soon as humanly possible. And she was hungry as hell. She did a lot of manual labor that she did not expect to do and skipped lunch to do it.

Kara sighed. "I guess. It's not gonna do much good outside of my imagination, though."

"Well, at least you can imagine."

Kara let loose another sigh, but she cuddled in closer to Alex while Alex reached for the takeout. Kara watched her, more closely than she expected. She was not sure what was about, but she handed Kara the many cartons of food she knew were for Kara and then took her own.

"So, I wanted to talk you about something," Alex said.

"More than us never having sex again?"

"Oh, Kara, we will have sex again. You just won't be able to wear the kryptonite bracelet."

Kara gasped and popped up, sitting up straight. "Wait, what about the training room? The training room is all kryptonite powered, too. Can we never spar again? This sucks." Her moue returned once more.

A half-smile settled on Alex's face. "I'm glad you like training with me almost as much as you like having sex with me."

"I like being close to you and also I need a lot of training. I mean, yeah, I can beat people up with muscle, but I still need a lot skills to go with it. I've only been doing this a couple of years for crying out loud. Clark never has these problems. Of course, I don't get how Clarke never has these problems. Think Lucy knows how Clark and Lois have sex?"

Alex arched an eyebrow. "I'm sure Lucy's life is a lot better not knowing that information. You could always ask Clark."

"I could. You think he'll freak out?" Kara asked.

"I imagine he'll freak out and then he'll laser eye me when you tell him why you want to know about sex. On a plus note, we'll be telling people."

Kara blinked turned to her. "You want to tell people?"

"Well, maybe our closest friends. We can't really tell anyone before we…" Alex scowled, not wanting to think of it. "Tell my mom." That would be the death of her. "I take it back. Clark won't kill me. Mom is going to kill me. In fact, she's going to kill me, chop my body up, and feed me to the raccoons who like to tip the garbage cans. Fuck." Her mother had tried so hard to keep her from this particular sin. There was no coming back from it. She was done. Dead. At least Kara knew how she felt before she died.

Kara waved off her worry. "You always think she's going to kill you. You thought she was going to kill you when I became Supergirl."

"I'm still not so sure she didn't kill me and this is some weird Afterlife where I get to have a relationship with you. Sometimes, this reality just doesn't add up. It's suspicious." She was only half-joking.

Kara laughed and Alex smiled. She thought the idea of them telling people would be difficult, but she would not mind and Kara did not seem to mind either. The only troubling idea was eventually telling her mother. She knew that would be the real test of her courage and she was not confident she would make it out of that unscathed, despite what Kara thought.

"So, we'll just tell those closest to us. You think they'll be okay with this like Lucy?" Kara asked.

"I think so. I mean, beyond her, who do we have? Hank, Winn, and James." It was a little sad that was their list, but Alex was grateful there were not a bunch of people to tell. She believed they would all take it well. They did not have any reason not to if Lucy was anything to go by.

"Okay. Sounds good. We can do it at a game night. I know I keep talking about having one, but now it's not just talk. We haven't had one in a while and it would be cool. Plus, it gives us all a chance to just hang out together without the world being in danger."

Alex nodded, as that did sound fun. It would be good to have some support before she had to face her mother down. But, that was getting ahead of them. For right now, she would enjoy what they had and look forward to surprising Kara tomorrow after work.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex did not understand why Lucy was in her workout gear. She also did not understand why Vasquez was not there in the gym yet. She had cleared the place out with a pointed glare and Lucy coming in behind her helped get agents out even faster, but that would not last. Any of the tactics and assault people would want the space back eventually.

"Are you sparring, too?" Alex asked.

"You think I can? I'm just a little omega, after all," Lucy replied with a faux-innocent look.

Alex laughed. "Little in stature, yeah, but nothing else. And you think I put stock in the omega crap? If I didn't have half the confidence in my combat skills, I'd think you'd be able to kick my ass."

Lucy scoffed. "Thanks, I think. Have you told Kara about how you believe in equality and all that?"

Alex frowned. "Why would I have to tell Kara that?"

"Oh, geez. She didn't talk to you?"

Alex's brow furrowed. "About what?"

Lucy rubbed her forehead. "Okay, this is the last time I run interference with you two. I'm mama-birding you both out of the nest. Kara is worried about you wanting her to behave like an omega, especially during sex."

"Where the hell would she get an idea like that?" That was possibly the last thing Alex wanted from Kara. She would actually take being punched at full strength by Kara long before having Kara act like an omega with her.

Lucy shrugged. "Ladies at her job. The ones you get donuts for. Apparently, they're sweet on you."

"Oh, god. I was just trying to be nice to them! I didn't think it was cool to show up with donuts every day and just give them to Kara, especially when those women kept complaining about never having time for breakfast. Now, they're screwing with my relationship." Alex turned and punched the heavy bag.

"Hey, calm down. It took a lot for me to convince Vas this was safe. You can't get all angry."

Alex let out a long breath. "Okay, tell me about Kara while we wait for Vasquez. And why is she late? She's never late."

Lucy shrugged. "She said she'd be here at this time. I don't know why she's late. I was working before I got here, like you were and like I assume she is. As for Kara, apparently, she thinks because you're an alpha, you'd want to bone an omega."

Alex put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "Okay, we definitely need to talk about that then. I don't want her to be something she's not. I definitely don't want her trying to act like an omega." They definitely needed to talk about this because the last thing Alex needed in her life was Kara trying to act like an omega. There were too many bad memories attached to sex and omegas for her.

"Make sure you tell her. Although, she probably won't be acting like an omega considering her research material." Lucy snickered.

Alex twisted her mouth up a little. "What's wrong with her research material?"

"From what I can tell, she started out strong with legitimate articles and then descended into porn."

Alex gasped. "No way!" Her Kara did not watch porn, but then again, her Kara could not have sex until recently, so it was possible she had just avoided it for her life.

"It's a little cute when I think about it. It's like a golden retriever puppy watching porn."

Alex groaned and palmed her face. "Please, stop talking. Where the hell is Vasquez?" She needed saving from this conversation.

Lucy smirked. "I told her she should watch porn with you."

"No, you didn't!"

"I did. I laughed the whole night as I thought about it. Just so you know, in my head, it was you watching porn with a golden retriever pup in your lap. You did not have a boner."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Well, thank God for that. Now, can you stop talking?" She doubted that would work. "Or maybe you'd like to settle this on the mat?"

Lucy held up her hands in surrender. "I'm just here to watch."

"But, you're in workout gear."

Lucy shrugged. "I'm one of those people who wears a jersey to sporting events."

Alex was not sure what that meant, but did not have time to ask as Vasquez finally popped up. Alex doubted she had ever been happier to see Vasquez, which said a lot because occasionally Vasquez brought her drinks. Vasquez gave her a wary look.

"I'm not going into rut," Alex promised.

"You sure?" Vasquez asked, giving her the once-over.

"I was just in rut two months ago. I'd have to see a doctor if I was going into rut again."

Vasquez nodded. "This is true. So, Lucy said you wanted to spar."

"It would be nice. I mean, it's been a while and you always helped keep me on my toes." Now that she thought about it, she missed sparring with Vasquez. It was always a good way to clear her mind, come up with new moves, or just discuss the day or a mission.

Vasquez glanced at Lucy. "I don't know if I want to do this with an audience, though."

"Didn't you guys talk about this already?" Alex asked.

"Yes, we did. Vas, I'm not going to do anything. I just want to watch. Alex promised to be professional. You two can do this like you used to and pretend I'm not even here."

Vasquez frowned. "Why do you even want to see this? You're getting off on another alpha topping me now?"

Alex winced. She guessed this was the conversation they had, but it did not sink all the way in for Vasquez. Lucy got up and went over to Vasquez. Alex stepped to the far end of the gym to give them some privacy. After all, they had not even told her they were a couple, so she doubted they wanted her to hear whatever relationship thing they had now. Still, she got to learn how sound traveled in the gym.

"Vas, you know I don't want to see someone else top you. I just want to see what you're capable of. I don't often get to see you take charge, even though I know you can and do. I just want to see that side of you for a while. I want to see your power and strength. Is that so wrong?" Lucy asked.

Vasquez huffed. "It's not wrong, but are you sure you don't want to see someone else top me? I mean, I know you remember her saying I got hard when she pinned me once." Alex did not recall saying that and she would love to apologize, but she did not want to bring it up.

"I do remember her saying that, but I also know she hasn't and won't make fun of you for that. Look, I just want to see you flex your muscle and cut loose. If you're not comfortable with this, though, it's fine. You know I would never want you to be uncomfortable."

There was loud groan from Vasquez. "Why are you always so freaking understanding?"

"Because I love you."

"I know, I know, and I love you. Fine, I'll do this. Just don't expect me to win or anything."

"First off, don't sell yourself short just because that's Super Agent over there. You're amazing at combat. Second off, this isn't about me wanting to see you win. I just want to see you fight. That appeals to me."

"Fine, fine, fine."

Crisis seemed to be averted, but Alex continued to look away until they gave her a sign it was all right. Lucy ended up calling her name to get her back over. Vasquez was on the mat while Lucy stood off to the side.

"Don't let me win," Vasquez said, pointing at Alex.

Alex smirked. "Why would I let you win?" She would not give way that she knew about Lucy and Vasquez. It would be nice to let Vasquez look good in front of Lucy, but she would not disrespect Vasquez like that. Vasquez needed to win fair and square.

Vasquez smiled back. They tucked themselves into their fighting stances and circled each other, sizing each other up. Alex looked for an opening. Vasquez had tightened up since the last time they fought. Still, she figured out where to make her move.

Alex went for the opening and was surprised to find out it was trap. Vasquez countered immediately. Alex had to back up or risk a bruise to her bicep. Never one to give up ground for long, she secured her footing and then pushed back immediately. While it had been a while since she and Vasquez had sparred and Vasquez had definitely improved, this was like an old dance between them. Alex missed it even more than she realized. Her body and mind felt at peace in a way. From the spark in Vasquez's eyes, she could assume the feeling was mutual.

Vasquez got in some good hits, but eventually Alex pinned her and she could not move. It was clear Lucy being there had an effect on her because she growled and refused to tap out at first, instead trying every which way to get leverage to escape. There was no escape, though.

"Damn, Vas, I didn't know you and Super Agent got down like that," Lucy said, calling attention to herself. Her face was flushed and Alex did not want to think about what might happen the moment those two were alone.

"It's been too long," Vasquez said as Alex let her up.

"Yeah, can we get our standing appointment back?" Alex requested. It would help keep her sharp.

Lucy's eyes were wide and her face got redder. "There used to be standing appointment and no one told me?"

"It was before you even worked here," Alex replied. "But, speaking of standing appointments, Kara has planned out a game night, so wait for an invite." She turned to Vasquez. "That includes you. I know we're not friends, but if you happen to show up with Lucy that wouldn't be a bad thing."

"Can you two stop it with the whole 'we're not friends' act?" Lucy huffed.

"We're not!" Alex and Vasquez insisted.

Lucy pulled a face. "You guys are going to make me say it, aren't you?"

"Say what?" Vasquez asked.

"Is this some alpha bullshit where you can hangout, spar, drink, but can't call each other friends? I know it's not military bullshit because I've been involved and around the military for a long time," Lucy answered.

Alex and Vasquez both shrugged, which only pissed Lucy off more if the way she narrowed her eyes meant anything. Lucy stepped over and took Vasquez's hand like it was something they did everyday. And, maybe they did, but they did not do it in front of her or at work. Alex acted like it was nothing.

"You two have to stop. You're friends and next time you spar, I'm here again. Might even get in on this. I see a couple of weaknesses I can exploit in you, Agent Danvers," Lucy said.

Alex scoffed. "Put up or shut up. I run this mat, Assistant Director." She pointed down. She had yet to be defeated in this gym.

Lucy grimaced. "Speaking of Assistant Director, I actually have work to do. This went over time for me. I'll see you both later." She actually kissed Vasquez cheek and then rushed off. Vasquez blushed.

"We're not friends, right?" Vasquez asked.

"I'm pretty sure we're not," Alex replied. They were not being ironic. "I mean, I outrank you and everything." That used to mean they could not be friends, but if that was the case, it also meant Vasquez could not date Lucy, which was totally untrue.

"Are we about to become friends?" Vasquez asked.

Alex shrugged. "I think Lucy's pushing for that and from what I've learned about Lucy, she tends to get what she pushes for."

Vasquez nodded. "That much is true. Drinks later to figure this out?"

"Tomorrow. I've got a surprise for…" Alex almost said "my sister," but swallowed it down. "My girlfriend."

Vasquez smiled. "That's good. Well, if we ever do become friends, we can help each other figure out how to stay out of trouble with our girlfriends."

"Yeah, I might need a lot of help with that." Especially considering how pissed Kara was to find out she could not wear her kryptonite bracelet anymore. Of course, she was about to make that up to her tonight. "Good match, Vasquez."

"It was." Vasquez continued to smile. They shook hands.

After that, they went back to work. Alex texted Kara, wanting to find out about her day so far. Kara was pouty because she had not gotten donuts that morning. Alex promised to make it up to her. She had forgone the donuts that morning because she did not want to get Kara in trouble with Cat.

"Cat said you should use the money you save on not buying donuts for everyone and take me somewhere nice," Kara texted.

Alex scoffed. "Tell Cat to mind her business. I know what I'm doing." Of course, she would take that advice, though.

"I think you might need to tell her that." A smiley face followed.

Alex smiled back. "Don't worry. I will. Now, I have to go back to doing actual work."

The end of the day could not come soon enough and Alex thought she might have broken the sound barrier on her bike to get to Kara's place. Somehow, she caught Kara by surprise as she could tell Kara used her super-speed to hide something.

"The super speed thing doesn't work when you have papers out on the coffee table," Alex said. All the papers were now on the floor. "Why are you using super speed?"

"No reason," Kara lied.

Alex sighed, shaking her head. "You're a terrible liar. And if you don't tell me, you're not going to get any potstickers." She held up the bag of takeout she picked up on the way over.

"You're being mean!" Kara whined.

"And you're lying to me. What were you doing?" Alex was serious.

Kara gnawed on the corner of her bottom lip. "You really aren't going to share the potstickers?" She gave Alex her best puppy eyes.

"I will eat them all in front of you. Tell me what's up," Alex replied as she sat down next to Kara on the couch.

"Fine." Kara sighed as if this physically pained her. "Lucy said I should talk to you about this anyway." Using her super-speed, she retrieved her computer from wherever she hid it. She opened the laptop and a few seconds later noise came out of it. Sex noise.

"Kara, are you watching porn?" Alex should not have been so shocked, but she was.

Kara sighed and closed the laptop again, discarding it onto the coffee table. "I just wanna see what omegas do…"

"Kara…" Alex turned to Kara and put her arms around Kara. "You don't need to worry about that. I don't care about what omegas do during sex. I care about what you do and what you like."

Kara chewed her lip again. "But, you don't usually let me do anything to you. I figured it was because you didn't like it or didn't like it with me."

"Kara, I do like it and I definitely like it with you. This is why we have sex almost every day now. I'm sorry you feel like I don't like it. I very much like it, like you. I love you and I love being with you. Never doubt that." Alex caressed Kara's cheek.

"Then why don't you let me do anything back to you? I mean, I'm trying to understand if maybe it's an alpha thing or what."

Alex shook her head. "No. First off, I try very hard not to be what people think an alpha should be or behave how people think alphas behave, especially when it comes to sex. I definitely don't want to be that way with you."

"But, I read that alphas are really protective."

Alex shrugged. "Yeah, but most people interpret that to mean controlling. I don't want to control you or anybody really. Yes, I do want to protect you and make sure you're safe, but I want you to be able to do your own thing, too."

Kara frowned at her, a proper, anger frown. "Then, why the hell can't I do anything during sex? Not that it matters since we won't be having it anymore. But, seriously, why can't I do anything?"

Alex had never really stopped and thought about it. "It's not that I don't want you to do anything. I think… I think I'm just really overwhelmed with being able to touch you now that all I want to do is touch you. I don't care about me. I'll get off eventually. I just want to make you feel good, like all the time."

"Well, I want to be able to make you feel good, too."

The idea, even though Alex should have known, still hit her heavy, both in the heart and other, more southern regions. It probably would never stop surprising her that Kara wanted her like this. This was beyond her wildest dreams, even now.

Alex reached for Kara's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm sorry, Kara. I guess I get wrapped up in what I want and even though I think I'm being giving because I'm doing you, I'm actually being selfish. Sorry." The story of Alex's sex life could be written up as an apology, even now. _How pathetic_.

"Don't say sorry. I'm happy you want me, but I just want you to know I want you, too. This is one of the reasons why kryptonite sucks. I mean, I feel close to you when we have sex. I like that closeness, that intimacy and it makes me want to feel you more." Kara sighed. "Not that it matters since kryptonite sucks."

Alex chuckled. "It does, but I have a surprise for you."

Kara perked up. "A surprise? What?" She was such a puppy. All she needed was a wagging tail.

"Yes. Grab your potstickers. You'll enjoy this." Alex already felt proud of this. Kara rummaged through the bags, finding everything that was for her with no problem. She also handed Alex her carton of food. "Okay, watch carefully, Kara. Red sun, fifty."

Kara looked around suspiciously and then the lighting in the room changed. The living room was bathed in red light. Alex was not sure this actually worked until Kara gave her a proper reaction. Kara gasped and looked stared at her hands.

"Wait, Alex, something's wrong!" Kara hopped up, practically leaping over the coffee table. For all her surprise, she still had her potstickers in hand.

Alex was up in a rush and grabbed Kara's hand. "Calm down, love. Nothing's wrong."

Kara's chest heaved with nervous energy and her mouth shook as she tried to make words for several seconds before they finally came. "Wait, wait, wait… Is this red sun light?" She looked around the room.

"Yes." Alex patted her hand and led her back to the couch before explaining exactly what was going on. "Winn and I were working on this for a while and just installed it yesterday. You don't need the kryptonite bracelet anymore. It has voice commands and motion detectors, so you can program in non-verbal commands if you want. You can control how much red sunlight comes in using percentages. We also installed sunlamps, which are also voice commanded. If there are sounds like there's a struggle, the yellow sunlamps come on automatically. We had to put in some new shades, in case you wanted to block the sunlight during the day to use the red sun lights. And, last, you can put on regular lights with the red lights, so it doesn't look like we're raving in here at night."

Kara's face lit up like it was Christmas morning. She actually put her food down and leaped on Alex. Alex grunted as Kara moved to straddle her waist. Kara put her arms around Alex's neck.

"I can't believe you did all of this for me," Kara said.

"Oh, really?" On a list of things Alex had done for Kara, this was a drop in a bucket.

Kara laughed. "No, not really. I should've known you had a backup plan when you kept worrying about me wearing the bracelet. This is awesome because I can be like a regular human when we have people over, so I can experience things with you guys without constantly trying to drown other things out. But, I can't be completely powerless. Supergirl has to know what's going on in case people need help."

"Which is why this is better than the kryptonite bracelet. Again, you can do levels, changing the percentage of light you're being exposed to. The bracelet only had one setting."

"How long do you think it'll take me to get to feel you since you put it on fifty percent?"

"I'm not sure. We can find out, though."

Kara giggled and nodded. She then reached for the food, but did not eat it. She began feeding Alex. Alex allowed it. She had to make a conscious effort to let Kara treat her as much as she treated Kara.

Kara had other things on her mind beyond just feeding Alex, though. After a little while, she rocked her hips against Alex, just slightly, almost barely noticeable. Alex let loose a long breath, but did her best to pretend nothing was happening beyond Kara feeding her. Kara seemed quite pleased with herself, smiling as she rocked more and gave Alex more food.

"Kara…" Alex put her hands on Kara's waist to try to slow her down.

"I can feel you." Kara leaned down and kissed Alex's lips. It was clear what Kara wanted to do and Alex had no objections.

"Completely?"

"No, but enough for right now." Kara went in for another kiss.

Alex went with it, having no objections to this at all. When Kara pulled away, she went back to the food. She fed some to Alex and then had a bit for herself.

"Is this something an omega would do for her alpha?" Kara asked.

Alex groaned. "Can we not, please?"

"But, I'm curious."

"Kara, I really don't need you to act like an omega. To be honest, I have really bad memories from the few times I tried to be with omegas. I just want you to be you. I love you. I fell in love with you, not some omega. So, just be yourself and do what you want to do."

Kara smiled. "I can do that, but I'm still a little curious about alphas and omegas."

"Only ten years too late to get a good grade in sex ed," Alex teased. It was easier to do than talk about omegas.

Kara groaned. "Am I never going to live this down?"

"Not now, no. You don't have to be an omega to want to do nice or sweet things for me, Kara. Just like I would protect you, regardless of being an alpha. Look, I need you to understand that the alpha and omega dynamic the world wants to push on you is bullshit. Lucy Lane is a perfect example of that. If this crap had any bearing at all, Lucy would be an alpha, but she's not and that doesn't take away from any of her personality."

Kara pouted. "I guess. You wanna talk about your bad memories with omegas?"

"No. I really just want to forget they ever happened. It's all super embarrassing. So, can we go back to kissing or eating?"

"More eating. Gotta get your energy up and I'm not comfortable with my power level yet."

"Do you want to turn the lights up?"

"No, I think we should measure it this way for right now. Besides, I like the excuse to just sit on you and feed you and kiss you and feed you."

Alex smiled. "Well, don't let me stop you."

Kara grinned and fed Alex a little more before kissing her some more. This went on for a few minutes and then Kara began grinding into Alex again. She was more insistent now, probably feeling at a level she was quite happy with. Alex's hands went back to Kara's waist, letting her know she could move even more if she wanted to.

"I really feel you," Kara whispered.

"You feel me?"

"You're hard," her voice was almost a chirp. It did not match her words.

This was quite true. There was undoubtedly a wet spot on the front of her boxers, possibly going through to her pants. She could not care less, though. She had Kara in her lap, after all.

"Can I undo your pants?" Kara asked before coming in for a soft kiss.

"Yeah." Alex would let Kara do whatever she wanted. They both needed to get comfortable with Kara touching her anyway.

Kara slid off of her lap and sat down on the couch next to her, reaching for her belt buckle. She picked up enough for Kara to ease her pants and underwear down her ankles. Her dick sprang up and Alex took a breath, heart rate already speeding up in anticipation. Kara stared enough for Alex to get nervous. She put her arms up on the sofa back, trying to play it cool.

"Can I touch you?" Kara asked.

"Touch away. I'll be your passenger tonight."

Kara giggled, which Alex expected, but still smiled. Kara took Alex into her hand and Alex jumped a little at the touch. It was more in pleasure than in surprise. Kara's grip was light and she did not move at first.

"I just want to be sure I'm not crushing you," Kara said.

"Kara, I promise you'd know if you were crushing my dick." Alex did not even want to think of what it could feel like if Kara had her super strength.

"These red sun lights are awesome." Kara pumped her hand up and down slowly.

Alex groaned. The movement was a little rough because Kara's palm was dry, but Alex did not care. The thought of Kara touching her like this was more than enough for her cock head to leak, oozing out enough liquid for the hand job to get better within a few seconds. Kara's movements were nice and slow, like she marveled over the fact that she could do this. Alex watched her face, noting how thoughtful Kara appeared, studying her dick like it was something precious. The thought made Alex moan, deep in the back of her throat.

"I'm going to put my mouth on you," Kara said.

Maybe it was a warning, maybe it was just to let Alex know things were about to change. It did not matter to Alex. She licked her lips, trying to mentally prepare for this. It was impossible.

"Um… bear with me, okay? I've never done this," Kara said.

 _Ugh!_ The idea of being Kara's first blow job made Alex twitch and jump. Kara yelped and tightened her grip a little. _Okay, body, we have to get these reactions under control. Yay, you're Kara's first everything. No need to come in your pants… or on your pants in this case_.

"Is it okay?" Kara asked.

"It's fine. It's fine." Alex sat up a little, trying to regain control of herself. She did not want to climax the moment Kara's mouth touched her.

She gave up after watching Kara lick her lips. She was going to blow the second Kara touched her, she knew. This was one of the reasons why she preferred to touch Kara. Kara could have multiple orgasms while Alex would need at least a half-hour after she released, especially because of her knot. Time in between could be seen a buzzkill. And that thought leaped from her mind as Kara gave her a soft kiss. Her brain almost short-circuited.

Her brain did not get a chance to recover as Kara went from a peck to her lips wrapping around her cock head like lollipop. And then, her tongue ran down the side and Alex could not contain herself. She moaned for all the world to hear and felt herself get harder somehow. She clutched the couch cushions to avoid gripping Kara's head. Kara was exploring, so she would let her explore.

"You taste good," Kara said.

"You do, too," Alex replied. What else was there to say?

Kara did not say anything, went right back to what she was doing. She sucked the head and Alex's eyes rolled into the back of her head. Kara seemed quite content sucking and tonguing the head. Her hand leisurely stroked Alex's shaft. It was barely a minute when Alex felt her orgasm scratching just under her skin. Before long, the scratching turned into it felt like her bones were going to collapse in her chest. She took deep breaths, trying to hold off her peak, but it was impossible.

"Kara, Kara, Kara," she chanted the name, trying to warn her.

She did a poor job, as Kara continued on and Alex gushed. She closed her eyes and groaned, deep in her throat like a bellow. In the back of her mind, she could hear Kara cough. She wanted to open her eyes and check on Kara, but felt like she melted through the couch. She would need to regroup before she could do anything for, to, or with Kara. Alex's chest heaved and she panted, trying to get enough air. After a few seconds, her brain worked enough for her to open her eyes to see Kara licking her lips.

"Oh, fuck," Alex hissed, her dick wanting to get hard again, but it was too busy spouting another shot of semen. It landed on Kara's leg.

Kara did not seem to notice. "You okay?"

Alex nodded and tried to give a thumbs up, but her thumb refused to cooperate. But, considering the fact that her whole body felt like goo, she should have expected that. Kara sat up tall, pride in her shoulders for some reason. _Well, aren't you proud when you make her come on your tongue?_

"I get why you like doing that," Kara said and then pouted a little. "I might need more practice."

"You're fine," Alex hoped she said. She was not sure if her mouth was currently working. Kara would not need more practice if Alex planned to climax within a couple of minutes every time this happened.

"I want to be better than fine. You have no idea the things you do to me with your tongue alone. I want to be able to do that for you. I mean, you never do the same things twice and I always feel amazing."

Alex was not sure what that meant and did not have the will to find out right now. "I feel amazing."

Kara giggled and bounced in her seat. "That's good. I'm happy." To the point where it would not have been surprising if she clapped.

"Only problem is. I'm gonna be spurting for at least twenty minutes."

"So, what? We can do other things while you're getting yourself together."

Alex was not too sure what that meant, but was captivated as Kara began to strip. She would always want to know where something like that was going. Kara wiggled out of her pants, but did not take off her underwear, much to Alex's disappointment. That did not last long as Kara removed her shirt and bra before straddling Alex's waist again, trapping her still gushing cock between them.

"You're gonna make a mess," Alex said.

Kara smirked. "Oh, that is my hope."

Alex doubted she would ever get used to this playful and sexy Kara, but she liked this side of Kara. She did not get a chance to verbally express that as Kara leaned in for a kiss, long, wet, and wonderful. Alex returned the kiss with all the desire and affection her body could muster while it was still in liquid form. She was not sure how long that lasted, but the kissing turned into light kisses as Kara took hold of Alex's shirt. She yanked the shirt off of Alex and got a good idea of how the red sun lights worked. Kara grunted as she got the shirt off.

"That shouldn't be so hard," Kara grumbled as she shucked the shirt behind them.

"You're used to doing everything with super-strength," Alex pointed out.

"I'm used to holding back on everything because of super-strength. I have to get used to regular strength."

Alex felt some brain cells recovering. "I'm not sure you should get used to having regular strength. You might end up miscalculating your super strength."

"I don't think so. I might be all right. Things feel different under a red sun, so I might just have to train myself to get used to that and I really do want to get used to this. Just like I want to get used to a few other things."

Alex did not have to ask what Kara meant as Kara palmed her breast and seemed to weigh it in her hand. Alex's heart rate had to be through the roof already. If Kara could hear it, she probably would have halted everything to make sure Alex was all right. Instead, she flicked Alex's nipple with her thumb, cautious, exploring. Blue eyes tracked Kara's fingers as she touched, studying her own actions and Alex's reactions.

"Can I…?" Kara did not finish her question.

"Kara, do whatever you want. I'm not gonna complain. This is nice." Alex sighed and let her eyes drift shut. There was something soothing to this.

Kara made a noise that was definitely a squeal and then both of her hands cupped Alex's breasts. A long groan escaped Alex's throat and did not stop as one of Kara's hands was replaced by her lips. _Kara's sucking my nipple_. The thought along made her want to climax again, but the feel assured that her dick might never be flaccid again. Every pull of her lips and lap of her tongue was soft, gentle, almost delicate, but not in a bad way. For once, Alex felt worshipped, revered.

"You like this?" Kara asked.

Alex let out a long breath. "You think?"

Kara chuckled and then decided to try Alex's other nipple. From this attention, Kara in her lap, and the other hand on kneading her breast, Alex thought she might never stop coming. She was not sure how long it went on, but she felt like her body had to be out of sperm after a while, but her cock kept proving her wrong. It did not even reach a point where it hurt. Her brain just sort of shut down, lost in a haze of sensation. She did not even realize she moved until Kara yelped and bucked in her lap.

"You sneaked up on me," Kara pouted.

Alex was not sure what Kara meant until she opened her eyes to see she grasped Kara's boobs in both hands. "Are you really complaining?" Alex hoped that sounded as teasing to Kara as it did to her and not at all like a jerk.

"No, but you were letting me touch you and this is distracting."

"Sorry. I just want to touch you while you touch me."

"Nope. That's not the deal. You can touch me only when I'm done, which will be when I hop on your…" Kara paused for a second. "You know in the month we've been having sex, we never decided on what to call your penis."

Alex was not sure if she heard right. After all, she was still a little loopy. "It's not a pet. It doesn't need a name. You can say penis."

"Is that what you call it?"

Alex shrugged. "Sometimes. I don't usually have to address it outside of my own head. In my head, I might call it a penis, a dick, a cock, an extra head I don't need, all sorts of things."

Kara tapped her chin, looking quite thoughtful. "I'll consider those, but isn't it an Earth custom to call your penis a name?"

"Not to my knowledge, Kara. Some alphas and beta guys might do it, but it's not mandatory. Now, can we get back to what you were doing?"

Kara grinned and ducked her head, taking Alex's taut nipple into her mouth again. Alex moaned as pleasure shot through her, going from her nipple to her cock, which seemed to be pumping out air now. Mentally, Alex saluted her dick's valiant effort. It went until it had no more left to give. It did not even have a chance to go limp. Alex's brain probably would not see any blood for a while.

That was guarantee as she felt Kara grind against her abdomen, introducing her stiff length to a warm, dripping haven. She had to let out another breath as Kara lifted up, just enough to reach between them and take hold of Alex. Alex was about to surrender to the paradise she knew awaited her, but somehow her mind was still working.

"Wait, Kara," Alex said, breathless in a way exercise would never make her.

Kara blinked. "What? What's wrong?"

"We should get you a little ready."

"I'm wet enough," Kara practically whined.

"Still." Alex moved a hand to Kara, but Kara slapped it away.

Kara wagged a finger at Alex. "No, you watch."

Alex could hardly process what was said before her brain could deal with what it as seeing. Kara put her hand between her legs and proceeded to stroke herself while sitting in Alex's lap. The sight was incredible, even if her view was blocked by Kara's yellow panties. Somehow, Alex's body produced enough fluid for her cock to practically weep at what she witnessed. And the little noises escaping Kara, moans she bit back, and coos stuck in her chest, Alex was not sure how she would survive the night.

"You want me to take this off?" Kara asked, a little whimper escaping her.

"Please," Alex actually begged. _You don't beg. You're a damn alpha_.

"Then, you have to keep your hands to yourself. Okay?"

Alex nodded. What else could she do? Kara had to know this was a lie. How the hell was she supposed to keep anything to herself with Kara doing such amazing things right on top of her? Kara eased her hand out of her underwear and Alex could not help herself. She leaned forward, grabbing Kara's hand, and licked her finger. Kara gasped and just stared at Alex for a long moment. Alex's heart pounded and she waited to be called weird or gross or something from the look on Kara's face.

"You literally just promised to keep your hands to yourself," Kara said.

Alex blinked and breathed a sigh of relief. "That was my tongue. Promise kept." She managed a smirk.

Kara did not look amused, but did not stop her actions. She stepped out of her panties and sat right back down on Alex. She locked eyes with Alex and then moaned as her hand went right back between her legs. The sight made Alex's cock ooze desire.

"Can I just…?" Alex found herself pleading, as her fingers grazed Kara's knuckles.

"No, you watch. I got this. If you're good, maybe I'll let you do it with me next time," Kara replied.

Nope, she would not survive the night. If Kara would talk like that, Alex was going to die on the couch. If she was lucky, she would do while inside Kara, but she was definitely going to give up the ghost on the sofa.

"You like what you see?" Kara asked.

"Who the hell taught you to tease? I'm gonna fuck them up," Alex replied.

Kara giggled. "It was you. You and your tongue and fingers and everything."

Damn it. She could not fuck herself up. Kara was doing a pretty good job of that, though. Maybe she did fuck herself up.

"I think I'm warmed up enough and I want to have some mercy on you," Kara said and she moved her hand from between her legs, taking hold of Alex once more.

Alex was not sure what to do with her hands or how to breath as the moment arrived. Kara sank onto her, moaning the whole time, and her hands automatically went to Kara's waist. Finally, Kara did not object. They both cried out, long and loud.

"Fuck, Kara. You can't tease me like this," Alex said, her body abuzz with energy.

"Like teasing you." Kara smiled at her as she put her hands on Alex's shoulders to brace herself.

Alex could only groan as Kara moved. Kara rode her like a champion. Alex decided to sit back and let Kara have this moment. She moved her hands from Kara's waist, stroking up and down Kara's chest, occupying bouncing breasts for a long moment. She flicked pebbled nipples, but did not tug, even though Kara seemed to like that in the past. She wanted to keep this light and gentle, as Kara seemed to be doing all night.

"Oh, Alex!" Kara bucked harder and faster, obviously chasing down her orgasm.

If Alex had been in charge, she would have made sure Kara climaxed at least one before getting to the main event, but Kara seemed fine pushing herself to her own end. Alex let one hand wander to the plain of Kara's back, enjoying the feel of soft, perfect skin. Kara must have liked the simple petting, leaning in for kisses, leisurely pecks and lingering of her lips against Alex's.

Alex was at her wit's end, but she felt like she could do this all night, as long as it remained steady. But, then again, she was certain her dick had nothing left to give anyway. Her arousal and blood might have kept her hard, but that did not mean she had anything to shoot should she reach that point. Or so she thought. As Kara's body pulsed and gripped her, she could feel fireworks popping in her nerves and her deflated knot throbbed, wanting in on the action.

Then, Kara's little noises grew in volume and Alex could feel her body willing to give _something_. Kara clutched her shoulders and cried out, body hugging her tightly. Alex growled, trying to keep her concentration and started moving her hips, wanting to give Kara even more. Kara's grip on her shoulders tightened and she practically smashed their mouths together. They were lucky to not lose teeth, but it was clear Kara's first orgasm bled into a second and Alex could not hold back. Driving her hips as much as she could, she dug her nails into Kara's back as she erupted again. Her knot knocked against Kara before slipping inside, making sure none of whatever Alex released escaped.

Kara collapsed against her, pressing their sweaty bodies together. The room was silent for a while with only their mixed panting echoing throughout. When Alex's fingers decided they could be trusted, she caressed a small space on Kara's back. Kara responded with lazy kisses to Alex's neck.

"That was amazing," Kara said, voice a little hoarse. She might have screamed more than Alex realized, but to be fair Alex had not had her brain for most of the night.

"It was really nice," Alex admitted.

"So, more like this sometimes, right?"

"Yes. More like this. Whenever you want."

"Good. Now, we have a problem."

Alex did not see a problem. She was buried in her favorite place, getting kisses from her beloved. Life was good for her.

"You want to eat now, don't you?" Alex asked.

"I think I earned it, but I can't move."

"Well, neither can I."

Kara pulled back enough just for Alex to see her pouting. Alex might have been able to resist since she was not in her right mind, but then Kara whimpered. Alex rolled her eyes and groaned. She would have to figure out how to feed Kara with Kara in her lap. It could be done.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara wanted to have game night almost immediately, but still needed a week to throw something together. At first, she worried over all of Alex's stuff being at the apartment. Her friends would know a little Alex was normal, but almost all of Alex was significant. But, she and Alex agreed to tell their little core group about the change in their relationship. Hopefully, things would go well and then they would tell J'onn, which they suspected he already knew, even without reading Alex's mind.

"This is going to be awesome!" Kara bounced as she carried a bowl of pretzels over to the living room. The pretzels rustled and a couple escaped over the side of the bowl thanks to her jitters. She ate the ones off of the floor. It was not like she feared germs or anything.

"So, we're going with my plan to let Winn sit in the spot we keep having sex on?" Alex asked, setting out the sodas and the cups.

"No!" Kara did not understand how they kept having sex exactly in the middle of the couch, but Alex was hell bent on making Winn sit there. It was not stained or anything. They always made sure to clean up after themselves, not wanting to mess up something that it needed replacing. They did not have disposable income like that.

Alex grinned. "Why not? It'll be funny."

"No, it's just mean and I thought you were being nicer to Winn. After all, he helped make so many awesome nights possible." Even though the red sun light lamps had been installed a week ago, Kara turned them on as soon as she got home every night and they had had sex all over the apartment since, including the coffee table. Kara had wiped it down over a dozen times, feeling guilty they would have to use it for game night.

"I am being nicer to his face. That doesn't mean I can't use him for an inside joke."

Kara shook her head. "You're terrible."

The pizza and wings they ordered arrived only a couple of minutes before their friends. Lucy brought Vasquez with her, which Kara thought was great. She wanted to hug Vasquez, but not only did they not have that sort of relationship, Vasquez did not know Kara was Supergirl. If Lucy felt safe enough to bring her around, it was probably okay to tell, but she would talk it over with Alex first.

"This place is nice," Vasquez said as she looked around the apartment.

"Thanks. It used to be Alex's but she gave it to me when I moved here and went with something smaller," Kara replied.

"I definitely didn't need all the space. I don't know what I was thinking when I first got this place," Alex said.

"That you needed some place to live, I'm guessing." Lucy smirked.

"Hey, we are not Agent and Assistant Director here. Don't make me have to show you who's in charge," Alex replied.

"I already told you I saw weak points in your defense I can exploit. You don't want to get embarrassed in front of everyone," Lucy countered.

"What did we just walk into?" James asked, coming in behind the ladies. Winn was right behind him.

"Alex trying to get her ass kicked," Lucy replied.

"That's a great story you're telling. Sounds like a dream and you woke up before it ended," Alex said.

Kara expected the banter from Alex and Lucy and it helped ease everyone else the evening. Vasquez took care of introducing herself to James, even though she had to know who he was considering he winced when she shook his hand. Winn and Vasquez did not seem to know each other, despite Winn's new employment status at the DEO. They then all assembled in the living room with Kara and Alex taking the couch. Winn sat at the far end at Kara's insistence. Lucy and Vasquez took the armchairs after moving them closer. James grabbed the chair in the corner and sat in between the couch and the armchairs.

"So, before we start playing, I just want to get an announcement out the way," Kara said.

"Maybe two announcements," Alex said.

Kara scrunched up her face. "Two?"

"Like we can play a game like normal people without having to worry about you cheating," Alex said.

Kara gasped and put her hand to her chest. "I don't cheat!"

"Yeah, just like you don't lie. You do both poorly," Alex said.

"You do," Winn and James agreed.

"You know what, now I don't even want to tell them we're dating because you're all horrible." Kara folded her arms across her chest and turned her nose up.

"Whoa, dating?" James said and his mouth refused to close after that. He looked between Kara and Alex, waiting for one of them to speak.

Winn's eyes went wide. "Dating?"

"It's about time. I told you to date the girl!" Lucy clapped.

Alex curled her lip. "Shut up."

"In that spirit and show of faith." Lucy turned to Vasquez, who smiled. "Yeah, Vas and I are dating." They held hands.

"Dating?" James repeated, his jaw now dangling open.

"Is this a coming out party? Should I have brought a date?" Winn asked, his face still twisted in confusion.

"Why? Are you going to tell us you and James are dating?" Kara arched an eyebrow. The question was serious.

"No!" Both Winn and James said and then they looked at each other.

"Why'd you say it like that? I'm a catch." James pressed his hands to his chest.

Winn's answer would surprise them all. "Too much alpha energy. You always strut around like you own the place."

"Hey, I thought that was rude!" Kara jumped on Winn, who was nervous and tongue-tied when she brought up his status, yet here he was, throwing James' around like it was the weather.

"Can we just play a damn game? Might have a chance at winning now." James huffed, folding his arms across his chest.

"Okay, but I just wanna be sure you guys all understand. I'm dating Alex. You know, like dating-dating," Kara said.

"We got it. Twist the knife a little deeper," Winn remarked. "Obviously, you like all that alpha energy." He made a hand motion to Alex.

For some reason, this sounded like an insult to Kara. "You don't know Alex. She's way more than some alpha energy." And to think, she had advocated for him to get a respectable part of the sofa.

"What are we playing?" Lucy chimed in as tension went to a level it did not need to be on a friendly game night.

"We picked out a whole bunch of games we couldn't play before because someone cheats," Alex said.

"It's not like I do it on purpose!" Kara threw her arms up.

Throughout the night, they teased Kara about her cheating, which was because of her powers. No one ever gave away the fact that she was Supergirl or had powers. Vasquez seemed to think it was just some inside joke she did not get because she was not part of the group. Hopefully, she would be eventually.

The best part of the evening was that everyone seemed fine with Kara and Alex being together. James even pulled Kara to the side, going into the kitchen to congratulate her.

"I'm happy for you, Kara. I think we all know Alex will take the best care of you," James said. He was a good guy.

Kara nodded, as it was true. Funny enough, Lucy told Alex almost the exact same thing Alex would later reveal, but that Kara would take the best care of Alex. Winn seemed to think the relationship change explained why Kara was curious about human sexual status. She did not confirm or deny.

"Have you guys always been attracted to each other or did something happen recently?" Winn asked.

Alex shook her head. "I wouldn't say always, but it's been a long time on my part. I always felt weird about it, though, because she's my foster sister."

James scoffed. "It's not like she's your blood sister and you've only known her since she was a teenager, right?"

"This is exactly what I said! They're basically high school sweethearts," Lucy said.

Winn glanced at her. "That makes a lot of sense to me. I mean, I think this would be weird if you guys were foster sisters since you were little kids or something, but maybe not even then. People get together with childhood sweethearts, too, and you're not blood related, so whatever."

Kara could not help the grin on her face. "Thanks, guys." She knew the acceptance would ease Alex's mind somewhat, but the guilt and shame would probably remain until they sat down and spoke with Eliza.

After a few games, several hours of loud talk, several slices of pizza for everyone, and wings all around, the guests left. Kara and Alex fell into bed, Kara curled into Alex. There was a dull glow of light in the room, which was a yellow sun nightlight. Kara could regain her powers as she slept, just in case she needed them.

"That went really well," Kara said.

"Yeah, which is why you're already planning another one in your head, right?"

"Oh, yeah! Next month. I think this is going to be monthly again. We have to get Vasquez in on this and comfortable. She was really quiet. I mean, I know she's usually quiet, but I want her to feel welcomed and comfortable, especially if I have to run off one day while she's here."

"You could always say you have to go to the bathroom, fly out of the bedroom window, and then I'll make up an excuse for you, saying you're sick."

Kara blinked. "Wow, that's really good. I never would've thought of that."

Alex laughed. "Because you're terrible at lying!"

"Am not."

Alex chuckled and leaned down, kissing Kara. "You are so, but it's just one of the many things I love about you."

That was enough to stop Kara from whining. She went in for another kiss. Maybe she would turn off the nightlight for now. It would come back on after thirty minutes of silence anyway.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: they tell Eliza. Will Alex survive?


	4. Hitting the Water (It Hits Back)

I don't own these characters; DC does.

A/N: this is the last chapter, there is sex in this chapter, and there is talk of a maybe-suicide attempt.

4: Hitting the Water (It Hits Back)

Kara tried not to bounce as Alex opened the door for her after they parked at a restaurant. Alex had planned a date and Kara was eager, maybe even anxious, to get to it. They were going on dates, like any other couple. It was wonderful. Magnificent and romantic. Alex always seemed to give it her best.

Best of all, at least to Kara, there were still donuts in the morning along with the dates, just donuts for her, though. Kara was not sure if the dates was financed from not having to buy her coworkers breakfast every day. It probably was not, but it was possible since that stopped a couple of weeks ago. Still, they were dating!

"We've never been here before," Kara said as she looked over the restaurant from the doorway. Dark wood tables with flickering candles greeted her in the dim lighting. Paintings covered the brick walls, all different artists, and Kara had to hold back the desire to study them all. Art was one of the best things about Earth, after Alex and her friends.

Alex smiled. "I know. I wanted this date to be special since it's an anniversary of sorts."

Kara could not help chuckling. "A week anniversary of our first date?" They had gone to play mini-golf. It was fun. She hoped they got a chance to do it again.

Alex's smile grew, letting Kara know she hit the nail on the head. Alex had done these tiny anniversary things for the past couple of weeks as well. Kara felt like it helped Alex get comfortable with their relationship, which was fine by her. It also seemed to help Alex keep the pace with being romantic, which Kara knew Alex feared she would struggle with.

"This should be more romantic than our first date. I was told this place makes amazing Cuban food," Alex said.

"You've never been here before either?" Kara asked.

Alex shook her head. Kara grinned, feeling giddy over getting to experience some place new with Alex. She had already felt like she might float off to space without her powers when she saw Alex somewhat dressed up for her, black slacks and jacket with a women's yellow button-down. This was too much. It was always too much when Alex dressed up for their dates. Kara looped their arms together, putting them on display as far as she was concerned. Yes, she had Alex in a suit on her arm. The world should notice and be jealous.

Kara especially liked how Alex carried herself right now. Alex always held herself like the agent she was, but there was something more in her spine right now, like she was proud to have Kara by her side, just as proud as Kara was to be with Alex. She hoped that was the case.

The restaurant was small, but the atmosphere was very romantic. There was dim light with low music, which was amazing. She wanted the guitar to be the soundtrack of their lives… at least right now anyway. They sat in a corner by the window, which had a wonderful view of a large park just across the street. Kara smiled as she and Alex looked across to each other.

"You look beautiful," Alex said.

Kara squirmed a little in her seat, happiness bubbling within her from those simple words. She purchased this dress not too long ago with the hope of wearing it on a date with Alex. She did not want to show up for a date in a dress Alex already saw her in, especially not a dress Alex helped her pick out for some other date. No, this needed something new.

"Is that dress new?" Alex asked.

Kara nodded, feeling her cheeks burning for whatever reason. "Yeah. I wanted to look nice for this."

"You'd look nice in anything, but I appreciate the gesture."

"I appreciate you."

"Don't keep buying new dresses for me, though."

Kara shook her head. "I want to look nice for you." It was the honest truth.

Before they could gush over each other, like the awkward dorks Kara was all too aware they could be, especially on dates, a waiter came over to save them from themselves. He gave them menus, both for food and drinks. He also rattled off specials, which all sounded good to Kara as she listened carefully. Alex watched her with her a small smile and a sparkle in her eye.

"This might take a minute for her to decide," Alex told the waiter. "Can you bring us two cokes as soon as possible? She's going to figure out what she wants to drink more than likely faster than she figures out what she wants to eat."

The waiter nodded and was off. Kara opened the menu and grinned. "Oh, they have milkshakes. Or things like milkshakes. I don't know Spanish. I can get one, right?"

Alex chuckled. "Get what you want, babe."

"Everything looks so good!" Kara was not sure what to get and she did not want to overdo it. She was very aware of the cost of feeding her. She also was very aware of the attention she got when she really let go in terms of food.

"Kara, I know how you eat. Get whatever you want. Don't worry. We'll lie and say we need to order for people at home and take the other stuff to go if you really like it."

Kara grinned. This was definitely a perk of dating someone who knew her secret. Kara was often cautious about how much she ate in front of people, trying to space things out when she could and always stopping while she was still quite hungry. On dates, it was worse. While she might order one entree, she tended to eat it quickly and earn stares or comments. Even if the comments were not hurtful, she never went on a second date with anyone who noticed. She never wanted someone to think she was anything less than human. But, Alex already knew.

"So, I think I'm going to take the pork home," Kara said as she stared at the menu.

"If that's what you want," Alex replied with a smile. "But, there's a lot of different pork meals on the menu. What are you getting?"

"I'm trying to narrow it down. Don't rush me."

Alex chuckled a little. "I would never."

Kara should not be giddy about food, but she was. Maybe she was giddy about getting a chance to be herself. When they waiter came back, he took their order, appetizers, two entrees, and a couple of takeout meals, all of them for Kara. Alex ordered her entree. The waiter hardly blinked, even as Kara clumsily mentioned the takeaway was for someone else. Alex chuckled, but did not say anything.

"Are you always this nervous on dates?" Alex asked with a teasing grin.

Kara wrung her hands together. "Actually…"

Alex reached across the table and put her hand over Kara's. "Oh, I'm sorry, Kara. Dates must have been nerve-wracking for you all the time, wanting someone to get close to, but not wanting them too close or asking questions or anything."

Kara gave a rather pathetic shrug. "It wasn't so bad. I mean, I didn't date a lot anyway." Of course, she did not date often because dating was nerve-wracking.

"Well, I promise we'll go on more dates if you want."

Kara grinned. She wanted that. Not so much because that was what other people did, like when she was trying to be "normal." She loved spending time with Alex and the idea of Alex wanting to romance her was enough to make her powers spike without the aid of the yellow sun. Alex wanted her. Alex could have anyone she wanted, but she wanted Kara and she wanted Kara and the rest of the world to know. This was amazing.

"Even if we go play mini-golf again? I liked it, even though you thought it was corny," Kara said.

"I should've done a better first date." Alex ran her hand through her short hair.

Kara gave Alex's hand a gentle squeeze. "No, no, no. It was great. First off, I love mini-golf. You know that. I had a really good time. I want to do more stuff like that and like this."

Alex smiled and nodded. "All right."

They sat in silence for a while, holding hands and listening to the music. Kara's heart fluttered as she watched shadows dance across Alex's face from the candlelight. She could not help marveling over the little bit of luck she had in life. Yes, she lost everything, but she had been delivered into the hands of someone who helped her rebuild herself, at the least, who helped her realize life was worth living, someone who pushed her to go on until she was ready and willing to do it herself. Alex was something special, even if she did not know it.

"You think when I go in tomorrow Cat will know you took me on such a romantic date?" Kara asked when everything was all said and done. She could not keep still, literally buzzing with happiness and energy from being well fed.

"I think the more important question is are you pollinating?" Alex smirked as she paid the bill with cash, leaving a generous tip for their waiter, who took all of Kara's food orders like a champ, even when she ordered two milkshakes and three desserts.

Kara batted her lashes at Alex. "Are you hitting on me?" She doubted she was "pollinating." It would be too soon.

"Want to take a walk?" Alex nodded toward the park.

"I'm going to have to tell Lucy you can be romantic when you try."

Alex rolled her eyes while Kara snickered. They took a stroll through the park, Alex holding Kara close. Kara could not help sighing. This was what it was like to have a bond mate? This was incredible.

"Did you know I'm happy?" Kara asked with a laugh as trees swayed around them in a light breeze. She looked at it as the trees dancing with them, nature approving of their union.

Alex chuckled. "I could guess. You're almost floating next to me. I'm glad I could make you so happy."

"You do."

And, despite tempting Fate by walking through a deserted park at night, Kara was able to stay happy. No one tried to mug them, or anyone else for that matter, so she did not have to rush off to save the day. This was definitely perfect. It might not be perfect later on, but that did not matter. And even if the time eventually was not perfect, being with Alex probably always would be, Kara was certain of that. How had Lucy known? Kara wanted to bestow a thousand thank yous and boons on Lucy and did not know where to begin. She would have to start somewhere, though.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex was not sure why she expected this to be a quiet night. Maybe she thought she would be rewarded for such a nice night out, but that did not make sense. Kara did not do quiet nights, even after peaceful walks in the park apparently. Quiet made Kara uncomfortable, which Alex could understand. Floating in space for twenty-plus years, surrounded by nothing but dark and silence, even if she was not aware of it, was more than enough quiet for Kara. Alex respected that, even when she just wanted to lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling, appreciating their closeness.

"You think Lucy was right?" Kara said out of the blue, her head tucked underneath Alex's chin.

"Right about what?" Alex asked. Something was on Kara's mind and she doubted it had anything to do with the movie that was more watching them than they were watching it. Lucy had been right about a lot of things. It was annoying really.

"Well, a lot of stuff."

"Yeah, but what's on your mind right now?"

"Well…" Kara's mouth twisted up in way that showed the words were there. It was possible she did not know how to say what she wanted to say or did not want to say. "I was just thinking about how my coworkers keep saying I'm a beta."

Alex could feel her brow furrow deeply. "Is this going back to you and sex ed?"

"Well, a little. But, I was thinking about how I ended up watching porn to try to understand alphas and omegas and Lucy said I should watch with you. She's been right about so much stuff. What if she was right about that?"

Alex coughed and sat up straighter. She was definitely not expecting that. Quiet night was done. Hell, even relaxing might be done if Kara continued on with this. But, she wanted to know where Kara was going with this and she wanted Kara to be comfortable talking about these sorts of things with her, even if she was not sure she wanted to talk about these things. _I'll probably never be comfortable talking about this stuff, but I don't want her to feel how I feel about sex and stuff_.

"You want to watch porn together?" Alex asked, holding back a hard swallow. It was a good thing the red sun lamps were on or Kara would have heard the spike in her heart beat. Or maybe she still did considering she looked at Alex with concerned eyes.

Kara shrugged. "One day, I guess. Not right this very moment."

"Well, just so you know, I don't really watch a lot of porn." It was not a lie.

Kara tilted her head and, damn it, it reminded Alex of a puppy. She was going to beat the crap out of Lucy the next time they were on the mat together for making her think of Kara as a puppy. She was also going to beat the crap out of Lucy for planting the idea of watching porn together as a good thing in a relationship with Kara.

"You don't like it? I wasn't too much of a fan of what I saw, but I wasn't watching it for the reason most people do. I wanted to figure out what was with alphas and omegas. Now, I'm a little curious about this whole beta thing since everyone keeps assuming I'm a beta. There are all these whispers at work that I'm wasted on you because you're this obvious, big bad alpha and I'm just a beta," Kara said.

Alex chuckled and embraced Kara, who settled against her again. "Really? I figured that would all go away since we get your donuts before you go in now and I haven't been by recently."

Kara pouted and wrapped her arms around Alex's waist. "I miss you coming by."

Alex could not help leaning in and kissing Kara's cheek. "I'll come pick you up for lunch tomorrow, all right?"

Kara perked up, looking at her with bright, shining eyes. "Okay. Are you going to come up?"

"No, I think I'll call you to come down. I don't want Cat to get pissed with you." She knew Kara was still catching hell over having donuts in the morning. She did not want to make it worse. Or even worse yet, get a lecture from Cat on how to treat her assistant/mentee.

Kara nodded and settled once more. "This is true. So, what is the deal with betas? Why do my coworkers think I am one?"

Alex felt herself relax a little. She could have this conversation. She flicked a few of Kara's locks with her fingers. "Because you lack all of the obvious characteristics that would make you an alpha or an omega. If you gave off any kind of pheromone scent, I'm sure they'd all think you were an omega from the way you act at work. And, as Supergirl people like to assume you're an alpha, but again, no pheromones, so all that is left is beta. Of course, Supergirl can get away with it since she's a known alien. With you, they're trying to figure out Kara Danvers."

Kara's mouth twisted up again. "So, I don't give off a pheromone scent?"

"Not a strong one, no. I mean, I can smell the hell out of you, but I have to assume that's the sex pollen." It made a lot of sense now.

Kara pulled away to glare at her. "I could learn to hate you, you know?" She folded her arms across her chest in protest.

A light laugh escaped Alex. "If you didn't learn yet, I highly doubt it." Alex put her arms around Kara and pulled her close. It was easy under the red lights of the apartment.

Kara yelped and tried to pull away, but could not without her super strength. "How the heck are you strong?"

Kara was still getting used to being what she called "normal" under the red lights. At first, Alex thought Kara was comparing herself to humans, but she had come to understand this is what Kara would be like on Krypton. She would be "normal," powerless. She seemed to thrive in the environment. Maybe it reminded her of home, even if Alex was now the stronger one.

Alex smiled. "I have to be strong to be an agent. You know that. Back to your beta question. The easy answer is that you don't exhibit the sex traits of either an alpha or an omega. Yes, there are pheromones, but there's also the assertiveness of alphas or the submission of omegas. It's lacking in you in the sense that you have both. You're submissive to Cat and other authority figures, but you're assertive whenever you need to be."

Kara scowled. "Lucy."

"I know. I know. Look, most things people think about alphas and omegas have been scientifically proven to be bullshit to a degree, but some are true, even if we don't want them to be and that's based on a balancing act of hormones."

"Do betas not have these hormones?"

"Not on the same level and this is one of the reasons why they don't have the scent issue to worry about. They also don't have to worry about heats or ruts. Mating marks don't affect them. Hell, they don't even get the urge to make a mating mark."

"Mating mark?" Kara's eyes searched the ceiling. "I feel like I remember that from sex ed."

Alex laughed. "Of course you'd remember that." She could not see why that would be the memorable thing from sex ed. She recalled when she took the class, the idea of rutting freaked her out and also trying to satisfy an omega's heat freaked her out. She thought she would never be able to do the latter and maybe she was right, but it did not matter now. Thinking about it, too, it was a little funny how she took the class before she presented and it never occurred to her that she could have ended up an omega.

"Mating marks seemed weird to me. I mean, humans hold themselves so high, above animals and all that and then some of you go around biting each other to lay claim to each other like a bunch of frenzied animals. I still can't figure that out."

Alex pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "It's not all bad or savage, you snob. The mating marks make mates closer. Just like Krypton has bond mates, the mating marks allow mates to become closer and connect on a deeper level."

Kara blinked. "Would you… would you want that?"

Alex took a breath and willed herself to be honest. "Yes. I want that with you whenever you feel like you're ready. Maybe it won't be the same for you, but it would mean something to me." Kara might take to mating marks like a beta. It would be there, but faint or possibly not even at all beyond the physical mark on her body. Hell, it might not even stick since once she got out into Earth's sun, she turned into the closest thing many of them would ever see to a god.

"It would mean something to me because it means something to you. And, if we do your mating marks, could we… well…?" Kara blushed.

"We can exchange vows in Kryptonian as well. If you want, I mean." She assumed that was what Kara was trying to say, but could not get out.

Kara's blush intensified until her whole face was red. "I would like that."

"But, before we do either of those things, we should probably tell my mom." It would be a nightmare. It might even kill Alex, but it was the right thing to do. Sometimes, she just wanted to do the right thing and she always wanted to do right by Kara.

Kara nodded. "And J'onn, right?"

"Well, yeah, of course J'onn." That probably would not be a problem. After all, their friends all took it with strides. Why would he not take it the same? Still, Alex's stomach flipped and she felt sick. _Maybe that's just over the idea of telling Mom_.

Kara snuggled into her. "See, Lucy might be right."

"What?"

"Because she's right about so much other stuff. She was right to push us together."

Alex sighed. _Even when she's trying to be subtle, she might as well just flash the damn Bat signal on what she wants_. "Kara, do you want to watch porn with me?"

It was painful watching Kara try not to smile as she shrugged casually. "Well, maybe watching it with you would help me understand the whole point of it. I mean, it was so rough. Are alphas really so rough with omegas? You're not rough with me. Well, not that you really can be. Oh, wait, no, I guess you can be with the red light. Do you want to be rough with me?"

Alex's eyes went wide. This took more turns than she needed in one night. "Can you just slow down already? First off, there's more porn than alpha and omega. Again, I don't really like porn, but if I do watch it, I don't watch alpha and omega because it's all about reinforcing stereotypes and showing the worst of the worst. It's terrible."

"So, what do you watch when you… you know, wanna get aroused or whatever?" Kara asked.

"Well…" Alex sighed. _You can do this. You should be able to talk to Kara about these things. You're a couple and you should be honest_. "I watch more romantic scenes in movies and stuff than anything else. I'm really not a porn person."

"Because of the way alphas are shown treating omegas in porn?"

Alex shook her head. "No, not really. If I do watch porn, it's never alpha and omega. I just… I've had bad experiences with omegas and I don't want to be reminded of them."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now, not really." Not ever if it could be helped. It would be nice to escape life without all of her embarrassing experiences being laid out in front of someone else, especially someone who did not witness it first hand.

"Is it why you told me you didn't want me to be an omega?"

"Yeah, it is. But, anyway, I don't watch alphas and omegas. It is rough and makes me cringe. I don't think I've ever met anyone like alphas and omegas in those scenes either. It's just too outlandish. I'll watch omega on omega sometime. Betas with omegas. I tend to prefer the female form to male, so not as much beta on omega as I'd like."

"Not as rough?"

"No. Sometimes, it can be sensual or gentle. I like that. I always felt like if I could get sex right, I'd want to be gentle with the person. I mean, I love them, right? Why would I want to hurt them?"

Kara nodded. "That makes sense, but you could be a little rough with me if you wanted to. I wouldn't mind."

Alex shook her head. "I would mind." She was not ready to explore something like that. Hell, she was not ready to have this conversation. "Something to keep in mind for my next rut, though."

"And when is that?"

"Soon. They come every four months. Any idea when you might sex pollen me again?" It would make her rut that much worse, but it should not be too bad. She had Kara with her now. Her rut should not be the torture and torment it had been in the past.

Kara shrugged. "I stopped really keeping track because you didn't seem responsive. But, again, it should only happen like twice a year, so you should be free and clear next rut. And, if not, would that be such a bad thing? I want you and you want me. You don't have to suffer again." She caressed Alex's abdomen, making delight dance across Alex's nerves.

"You don't either. Even if we haven't made it official, I'm your mate."

Kara grinned. "This is so good for both of us. Again, Lucy was right."

Alex groaned. "Go get your damn laptop."

Kara snickered, but Alex did not have to tell her twice. Super speed, as best Kara could after lounging under the red lights for almost a half-hour, for a laptop let Alex know she had said the right thing. Alex really did not have a taste for porn. She did not make it a point to watch it, but this was partly because she had a lot of sexual hang-ups, like being attracted to her foster sister. _If I want this relationship to work, I might actually have to start going to a shrink to work through some of this stuff_. Kara laid down in her lap and put the laptop on her own knees.

"What are you going to type in?" Alex asked.

"Female omegas on omegas. I figured it would be easier than searching betas and omegas. A bunch of guys would probably come up."

Alex arched an eyebrow. "You seem to know a lot about this for someone who only just started watching porn a couple of weeks ago."

Kara blushed. "Okay, so maybe I looked a couple more times since then. I was trying to figure out the whole alpha and omega thing."

"Even though I told you I didn't want you to be an omega?"

Kara puffed out her cheeks. "I was still curious."

That made sense and was true enough. "But, didn't find anything you like?"

"No, it's all gross when it comes to alphas and omegas. Maybe I should try alphas and betas since people think I'm a beta."

Alex shook her head. "You're a little eager for this." It seemed like Kara wanted to see porn with people like them, as if it would tell her how to behave when they were intimate.

"Because it might be fun! Everything with you so far has been fun and I want to see the big deal about porn. Not to mention, I want to know more about this alpha, omega, beta situation. Who knows, I might have to act like a beta more." Kara shrugged.

"You've been pulling it off without knowing what it is. I think you're good. Not to mention, studying porn is never the way to get anything done, especially when you want to know what to do in a relationship."

Kara was not listening to Alex and Alex knew that. She was way too curious about this porn thing. Alex decided to sit back and… well, watch Kara watch porn? She could not see herself enjoying this. _You'll be fine if Kara likes it_.

"So, how does this work? It seemed like the most popular was first, but they're always the worst," Kara said, flipping over and draping herself across Alex's lap as she put the laptop on the arm of the couch.

Alex arched an eyebrow. "Always?"

Kara ignored the question and went right to videos. She wasted no time typing in "female omega on omega." Alex wanted to look away, but Kara wanted to watch together, so she would watch together. The video started, Kara's eyes glued to the screen. Alex sighed and ran her fingers through Kara's hair.

"Oh, it is different. There's a lot more kissing than the alpha and omegas. Why?" Kara asked.

"People tend to think omegas are all sugar and sweetness and would spend most of their time together kissing and touching and being sensual rather than jumping right into the sex. They like to think omegas are all about foreplay. Besides, I'm sure mostly alphas make porn and they can't figure out what two omegas would be doing for a half-hour with no dick between them."

Kara nodded. "Does it still count as sex?"

"Sex is what you make of it, Kara." Alex stroked Kara's hair, scratching her scalp a little this time. She wondered how much Kara missed out on sex ed, sexual curiosity, and even puberty as she worried over the death of her planet, the deaths of her parents, being abandoned by the only family she had left, and trying to fit in among humans.

"I don't 'make of it,' though."

"Kara… have you ever at least considered sex stuff? I mean, I know you didn't do it and you didn't really masturbate."

Kara looked at her. "Not really. I tried dating, but more so because I didn't think you wanted me and I wanted to seem normal."

This was a little troubling to Alex. Out of all of the things she worried over with Kara, this one had escaped her and it felt like it should be obvious. Kara had so much on her plate, why would sex ever make it into the whirlwind of her mind?

"Kara, have you seriously been attracted to me since we were teenagers?" Alex inquired, curious a bit. Was the attraction true or just something Kara focused on for lack of a better target and from lack of knowledge?

Kara twisted her mouth up a little. "Well, yeah. To this day, I don't know a better person. You've always been… well, my hero. The more people I met, the more I realized how amazing you were and my affection sort of grew for you, continues to grow. I don't think I really associated you with sex until recently, though, because I didn't think about sex until recently. I just want to be with you."

Alex's heart melted at that response. How did Kara know the right thing to say without even knowing what troubled Alex? "You're with me. We'll always be together." At least in the spiritual sense. Hopefully, that would be enough for Kara one day.

"I like sex, though." It was a little funny the way Kara said it. So casual, like talking about a television show they were supposed to watch. "I mean, beyond it feeling good. It makes me feel close to you."

Alex nodded. "It makes me feel close to you, too." It made her want to strut around, too, because she was satisfying Supergirl. No other alpha could ever say that. _Could you be any more of an asshole alpha right now?_ Well, at least she never acted on the desire to strut.

"Is sex always like that?"

"Not from my experience. I used to try for the connection, but never quite made it like I do with you." She had chased the connection a few times and gave up when it never materialized. It made her stomach clench a little thinking about it.

Kara stared at her for a long moment. "If sex is supposed to be all connecting and stuff like that, why do they make porn like the alpha and omega stuff?"

Alex chuckled a little and her stomach settled again. "Sex is more than the butterflies and rainbows we want it to be. Sometimes, sex is dirty and gritty and people like that. Some people like a little pain with their pleasure. Beyond that, some people just like to imagine those things and porn lets them live their kinks without actually living their kinks. And, also porn is porn."

Kara nodded and her eyes went back to the porn video. Alex watched Kara rather than the video. Kara's face scrunched up in concentration, like she was studying the video more than watching it for pleasure. It was a little funny, but it also hit Alex a little heavy. Kara missed out on normal teenage things thanks to life and her circumstances.

"Oh," Kara said, as if surprised.

"What?" Alex's eyes dropped to the video. The omegas were still kissing, but they were also fingering each other.

"It makes me think about when you touch me. Is that one of the reasons people watch these videos?"

"One of the reasons."

Kara nodded and shifted a bit, elbow digging into Alex's abdomen. Alex wiggled, enough to let Kara know she needed to move. Kara moved back a little, supporting more of her own weight. She moved her hand to Alex's abdomen, rubbing the area, as if in apology. The simple touch coupled with the sounds from the video made Alex stir in her pants.

"Kara," Alex said, wanting to warn Kara about what was going to happen should this continue.

"It's okay. I kinda get it. This is a lot better than watching a big alpha throw around an omega," Kara said.

Alex was not sure if Kara really understood what she wanted to say, but then Kara cupped her through her pants, so apparently she got the message loud and clear. Alex shifted a bit, not sure how she should feel about this. But, should she have expected anything else? What happened when partners watched porn together anyway?

"Alex, can I…?" Kara pressed her thumb against the head of Alex's cock.

Alex's brow furrowed. "You want to?"

"I wanna keep watching, but I wanna touch you, too. Is that okay?"

"It's always okay." It would still take some getting used to, but she was fine with Kara touching her as long as they were alone.

Kara eased her hand into Alex's pajamas and caressed her while still watching the video. Alex exhaled, relaxing into the touch. Her eyes drifted closed and her fingers remained threading through Kara's hair. Maybe it would be a quiet, lazy night, even with the sounds of a porn echoing through the apartment.

"Hey, you're not going to watch?" Kara asked.

Alex opened her eyes. "I don't really care for porn, Kara. You go ahead and watch. You might find something you like. I'm okay like this." She was not sure if Kara would be all right with that since they were supposed to watch together, but Kara did not object.

Kara's hand remained on Alex, slowly jerking her off. Kara purred as Alex threaded her hair at the same rhythm as Kara's hand. It was nice and then Alex almost jumped out of her skin as Kara ran her tongue along the head of Alex's dick. Alex adjusted how she sat as Kara took Alex into her mouth. Alex had to open her eyes, needed to see what was going on.

Kara was still watching the video, or at least trying from the angle of her head. Alex tried to sit further back, wanting to see Kara's face, but all she could see was a crown of blonde hair since the couch did not recline. It did not matter as she could feel it all and pleasure flowed through her like a spilled liquid. It was nice, not something she expected with porn playing not even two feet away from her.

"Kara…" Alex moaned, feeling like she should say something, but she did not know what to say.

Kara pulled back. "Bed?"

"If you wanna."

Kara shut the laptop as the answer to that question and increased the output of the red sunlight in the bedroom, even though they were not there yet. Alex did not ask any questions, just watched Kara work. Kara put the computer on the unoccupied space on the sofa and then came in for a quick kiss before taking Alex's hand. Kara tugged her off of the couch, probably finding it harder than she expected, even though her powers were not completely out.

"Kara, wait." Alex tried to fit her pants, not wanting to trip on the way to the bedroom.

"No, come on. It'll be good." Kara tugged more.

Alex laughed. "I know it will, but I don't want to fall on my face before we get there. You want to have to treat my head injury?"

Kara halted dead in her tracks. "Good point. I'm sorry, but I wanna be close to you."

Alex chuckled again. "No, you wanna fuck. It's okay."

Kara eyed her, squinting. "There's a difference?"

"Yes. You got horny watching the porn and you want to fuck. I have no problem with that. We're going to be close no matter what and sex doesn't always have to be for the same reason."

Kara's face was completely twisted up now. "Like how do you mean?"

Alex suspected she was going to lose her boner, but she did not mind. She was glad to help Kara through this curiosity. She would rather Kara ask her about this than anyone else.

"First off, you know sex feels good. People do it just because of that, I'm sure you know. Then, there's being close, which is what we both like. It's a way to express how we feel about each other. It's fun, too. People do it for fun. It can be for all of those reasons or some of those reasons or other things. Some people do it to find what they like."

Kara turned her mouth up. "I like what we do."

"Well, yes, but there's so much more stuff, Kara. I mean, stuff I don't even know about. Stuff I haven't even thought about really, so I'm sure you haven't. But, there's so much."

"Like what? Should we actually just watch more porn?"

"If you want to." Alex did not want to, but she would muddle through it. Hell, they might discover something she liked or wanted to try.

Kara shook her head. "Not right now. I do want to be close to you and I want to cuddle with you in bed… after sex."

Alex chuckled, but did not turn Kara down. Kara took her by the hand and walked with her to the bedroom. Once inside, Kara kissed her so sweetly, like candy. Alex returned the show of affection, hoping somehow her kiss was just as soft, gentle, and satisfying. Kara's hands roamed Alex's torso before settling on her breasts. Alex smiled against her lips.

"I want to explore stuff with you," Kara said, hands sliding down to Alex's pants.

"Whatever you want," Alex replied.

"But, you've done stuff before. Stuff you didn't like?"

Alex pulled away a little. "Not really. My main problem is I've done stuff drunk."

"Why?"

Alex moved a hand to caress Kara's cheek and offered her a small smile. "I tried stuff with people who weren't you. I wanted them to be you, but they weren't and to deal with that, I got drunk before trying anything. It wasn't a good way to do things."

Kara's expression softened with worry, as it tended to do. "Well, now you can try things sober with me."

Alex nodded and leaned in for another kiss. Despite all of their talk of trying new things, they eased each other out of their clothings, as they tended to do. There were tender caresses as they got each other nude and settled on the bed. Alex lost track of time as she lost herself, drifting through the field of Kara's soft skin and the pleased, little sounds escaping her. Alex pulled back a little, breaking their kiss, as Kara's wrapped her fingers around Alex's cock.

"You want it?" Alex asked.

Kara nodded and let out a low breath. "Give it to me."

Alex groaned. "Of course."

Kara shifted onto her bed and tried to pull Alex on top of her. In the bedroom, under the red lights, Kara found herself unable to move Alex. There were times when Alex was certain this fascinated Kara, which was why Kara was trying so hard right now to move her. She gripped Alex's arms and tried and tried and tried. Alex smiled down at her.

"Alex," Kara whined.

"Yes?" Alex knew what Kara wanted, of course.

"I need you."

Alex leaned down for a brief peck on the lips. "I know."

Kara groaned and arched against Alex. The meeting of their skin made Alex shiver. She went in for another kiss, longer, deeper, and Kara got her way through her kiss. Alex moved in between Kara's legs and lowered her body until their breasts were pressed together. This was one of the best feelings.

"Please, Alex!" Kara clung to her shoulders, nails biting into her flesh. Alex loved the sensation.

"This might be a thing," Alex commented as she moved a hand between them. She hated not preparing Kara before putting her cock inside of Kara. It was a little hard to concentrate as her brain just wanted to focus on Kara trying to pull her down.

Kara was tense, neck strained, accidentally presenting her flesh in a way that made Alex want to mark her. "Stop teasing."

Alex licked her lips. "I'm not. I'm marveling. I very much like you pulling me, trying to move me."

Kara blinked and stared at her, almost as if she was out of the moment. "I like it, too."

"I also like touching you a lot." Alex proved her point by caressing Kara's clit.

Kara purred and arched into Alex's questing fingers. "I like touching you, too."

Alex felt Kara's hand brush against her erection. She groaned and made it her mission to get Kara to forget about her and just experience their time together. Her finger was replaced with her thumb and she made tight circles on Kara's clit, quickly learning that was Kara's favorite touch. Kara's head fell back and she let loose a loud moan. Alex pressed a little firmer and Kara's legs opened wider, silently begging for more. Alex slipped a finger inside of Kara, earning a sob from Kara.

"Fuck!" Kara clutched her tighter.

Alex throbbed at the sound of wholesome Kara swearing. Who else could make Supergirl curse and keen? Her inner alpha could not help preening over this and pushed her further. She added another finger and pumped slowly while making sure to keep her thumb exactly where Kara needed it, right where Alex needed it.

"You feel so good all the time," Alex said in a whisper. Having Kara around her fingers, pulsing hot and wet around her was enough to blow her mind.

"Alex, please!" Kara twisted a little.

"I've got you, baby. I've got you," Alex said, even though she was not sure what Kara was begging for. Maybe it was to climax, which Alex would give her, but it was more likely she wanted Alex's dick. Kara liked to explode on Alex's dick and Alex did not have a problem with that, but she liked to make sure Kara peaked at least once before she went after her own orgasm.

Kara sobbed again as Alex increased her pace. The way Kara dug into her arms, Alex knew she would have marks, but it did not bother her. She would wear them as badges of honor. If only she could wear tank tops to work and show them off.

Kara shot up, kissing Alex. Her hands moved to the back of Alex's head, keeping her in place, not that she wanted to go anywhere. Kara threw her leg over Alex's hip and she shuddered against Alex, pulsing around Alex's fingers. It was glorious, as Alex knew it would be, as it always was. After a few seconds, Kara's body calmed down, but she panted in Alex's mouth. Kara ran her hands up and down Alex's back, feeling lines in her shoulders.

"Now, please," Kara said.

Alex did not verbally respond as she took her fingers out of Kara and braced herself on her elbow. She rocked her hips, gliding through Kara's warmth. Kara moaned as Alex bumped her clit several times and she tried to pull Alex down as she pushed inside. Alex's head dropped to Kara's neck and she nipped at Kara's pulse as she was surrounded by Kara. It felt like she would drown in Kara. It would be the best way to go.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," Alex chanted into Kara's neck. She kissed and tongued the area, biting back the desire to do more.

"Yes, give it to me!" Kara gripped the short hairs at the nape of Alex's neck.

Kara's hold drove Alex's hips a little harder, the wet slapping sound echoing through the bedroom. Soon, that was drowned out by their moaning. Alex could hardly process the feel of Kara around her, even now, after so many times of doing this. It would never be enough. Kara wrapped her legs around Alex's waist, pulling her closer with each thrust. All too soon Alex could feel a hot stirring low in her abdomen.

"Kara," Alex groaned, pumping harder.

"Fuck," Kara replied.

It did not help to hear Kara swear and before Alex could stop herself she bit down on Kara's neck. Kara held her tighter and made a noise that was so sweet it seemed to suck Alex's climax right out of her. Alex's teeth sank in deeper as she exploded inside of Kara, who seemed to hold her tighter and tighter. Alex barely realized what happened as she felt her knot swell and Kara fluttered around her.

"Alex, that was amazing," Kara said.

"Shit." Alex pulled back, wanting to inspect the damage. While they had said they were mates, they had not discussed her biting Kara, especially when she could break skin.

"What's wrong?"

"I bit you."

Kara purred and it made Alex's insides melt. "I noticed. I think you humans might be onto something with that. It made me come."

Alex's knot throbbed hearing Kara say "come" in that context. "Okay, I need you to stop using sex words."

Kara chuckled a little. "Yeah? I wanna use more. You should teach me some."

Alex ignored that and rubbed the bite mark with her thumb. "I don't think I broke the skin, so we're okay."

"That felt so good. Why does it matter if you broke the skin?"

"That's usually the thing that triggers a mating. I'm not sure how it would work with you since you're not human. My bite might not affect you."

"What if I bite you?"

"That should probably still work. There are studies that show betas, who tend to not be affected by mating marks, can still mark their alpha or omega mates, who will feel the effect to a degree. The connection isn't as strong or as deep, but it does release the same hormones and chemicals."

Kara ran her hands up and down Alex's back. "You'll tell me more about that, right?"

"Not right now." Alex sighed and relaxed, collapsing back onto Kara, who mewed. "And stop with the damn purring. I can only come so much."

Kara snickered. "So, you can say come, but I can't?"

Alex responded to that by moving her hips. Kara keened and arched against her while digging her nails into Alex's back. Alex inhaled sharply, loving the scent of Kara and along with the dig of her nails. She kissed and licked the bite mark she left behind. She had not broken the skin, but she felt protective of it, like it was a mating mark. Her body relaxed, ready for sleep.

"Am I too heavy?" Alex asked, voice low and distant even to her own ears. She was already halfway gone.

"I like it," Kara replied, her voice also a whisper and she clutched Alex to her.

"Good." And with that, Alex fell asleep.

-8-8-8-8-

The bite mark healed by the time Kara got to work. The Earth's sun worked wonders, even though Kara wished it remained enough for her to display for a little while. Could her coworkers tell it used to be there? She would have to look it up. She wanted to know more about these mating marks. It felt so good to have Alex bite her and that was not even the mark, so yeah, she needed to know more.

"Kara, you're looking perky," Meghan commented as she made her way to her desk.

Kara doubted she could sit up any straighter. "I had several donuts today and some donut holes to go." Not to mention she had sex not even two hours ago with Alex before leaving for work. Sex was awesome. Sex with Alex was nothing short of divine. Those red sun lamps were the best.

Before they could exchange any other words, Cat called Kara into her office. Cat was pacing already, phone to her ear. Kara could guess what this was about, so she shuffled through her emails and settled on a confirmation email. She waited for Cat to acknowledge her, getting a simple look. She held up her tablet, displaying the email.

"Well, I'm looking at confirmation right now. No, see, my assistant is actually competent. I'm not sure if I can say the same for yours," Cat said.

Kara smiled a little from the compliment. Of course, Cat glared at her, which disappeared the smile instantly. Cat huffed and turned away, listening to the excuses on the other end of the phone. Kara was not sure, but someone messed up on an important dinner Cat was scheduled to attend. They had ignored Kara when she called yesterday to point out the invitation had not arrived yet, so now they had to face the fury of Cat Grant. It was not pleasant and Kara winced through every well placed barb from her boss. Then, Cat hung up.

"They're supposedly sending the invite by courier. If it's not here within an hour…" Cat did not finish the sentence, as Kara knew what to do.

"Did they tell you they tried to bump you for Perry White?" Kara asked, just wanting to bring Miss Grant's full wrath on them after the way she was treated yesterday, like she was some sort of liar.

Cat's gaze narrowed. "I suspected as much, but it's good to know I was correct. Is everything else in order?"

"The only change I have is this afternoon you can meet with those firefighters you want for the cover of Cat magazine."

Cat arched her eyebrow. "What happened?"

"They're flying out to the East Coast. Apparently, they're being honored in New York."

"They saved children from a wildfire here. Why does New York care? They can't possibly be short of news there."

Kara shook her head. "No, it's to help spread awareness of the California fires."

"I suppose that's acceptable. Everything else is in order?"

"Completely."

Cat nodded. "Don't look so smug. Just because you've been hyper competent lately doesn't mean I'll let your girlfriend bring in donuts again."

"But, donuts help!" Kara would rather have donuts in the office than getting them before she came in. She felt like she had to inhale the donuts now rather than savor them, as donuts deserved. Beyond that, she would like Alex to come up to her desk again.

"Yet, you've survived without them. Hopefully, your girlfriend has used the saved money to take you out somewhere worthwhile."

Kara nodded with a grin. "We had Cuban food the last night at this fancy place!"

Cat held her hand up. "I have very little interest in hearing about your date. As long as you continue to do your work rather than distract the office with useless donuts."

Kara gasped. Donuts were never useless! "The donuts aren't the distraction." If anything, Alex was the distraction and Kara could understand why Alex was such a distraction. In fact, she was about to be a distraction right now and Alex was not even there.

"It will never cease to amaze me how you keep your figure with your dietary habits. You think I don't see you out there stuffing your face constantly?" Cat inquired.

Kara's eyes went wide. She tried her best to pace her eating, but she could not help it. There were not a lot of things she needed on Earth, but she needed to eat, almost all the time. If Cat put together how much she ate, she doubted it would be hard for her to make the connection Kara was Supergirl, even if she had J'onn impersonate her a million times.

"I spend most of my time working out when I'm not here," Kara found herself saying. It was not exactly a lie. In fact, Alex might even be proud of her.

"Being with your girlfriend doesn't count as working out."

Kara almost swallowed her tongue and choked on a reply she did not even have. She had to get out of this office before Cat killed her with her words. She searched her mind for some duty that she needed to get to at the very moment. Nothing came up. Oh, Alex would not be proud of her.

"Is that the courier?" Kara turned and rushed out, throwing herself into her chair. With her super-hearing, she could hear Cat chuckling. So, that was on purpose. Why would Cat rattle her about her relationship? Was it a way to check on her? Kara wished Cat could just ask like a normal person.

Kara went to work until her phone buzzed. It was Alex, inviting her to lunch. She grinned and tried not to bounce in her seat.

"That was the girlfriend?" Meghan asked from across the way.

Kara cringed. "What? How can you tell?"

"You're grinning like a madwoman," Angela pointed out.

Kara tried her best to straighten her face, but she could feel smile. How could she not smile? Alex wanted to go to lunch. She loved being around Alex and since starting this new facet of their relationship, she found herself giddy about being around Alex. It was like when they were younger and first became friends.

"I would grin, too, if I had an alpha like that at home," Crystal said.

Meghan sighed. "Please, don't start."

Crystal held her hands up in surrender. She had been trying to be good after she figured out how her words about Alex made Kara uncomfortable. But, Kara had to admit, Crystal was not a liar.

"Everything is going well with your girlfriend, though, correct?" Angela asked.

Kara nodded. "It's going good. She wants to go to lunch again."

"One day she's got to let us kidnap you," Meghan remarked.

"I'm sure one day she'll be trapped at work." Of course, Kara would still go be by her side. She would just tell these ladies something else. She was glad they wanted to befriend her, but she just wanted to be with Alex. Besides, she wanted to be able to eat a regular lunch for her and she would not be able to do that with an audience.

"Then, we'll wait for that day," Angela replied with a chuckle.

-8-8-8-8-

"How is this even possible?" Lucy panted, pushing herself up from the mat as Alex stared down at her. Vasquez was smart enough to stay down, but Lucy had yet to learn. Alex owed her for the porn suggestion, after all. Not that Lucy knew that was going on.

"You'd think she'd have less energy from getting laid all the time," Vasquez remarked.

Alex was about to respond to that, but an agent rushed into the gym and cut their sparring session short. All three of them were needed for a situation. Alex hoped she did not have to cancel lunch. Still, the agent rushed them to a conference room where J'onn waited for them. Turned out, it was only to plan an operation for later that week, but Alex might have to tell Kara to make other lunch plans and possibly expect her home late at the end of the week depending on how all of this went. Seeing J'onn, though, reminded Alex, they needed to tell him.

"Hey, sir," Alex said, stepping over to J'onn once the meeting was over. As it turned out, the meeting did not even run long. She could still keep her plans.

"Yes, agent?" he asked.

"Are you busy this weekend?"

"You know how I feel about fraternization."

Alex held in a laugh, as they were at work and she had a reputation to keep up. Beyond that, she actually had no idea how he felt about fraternization. He had to know about Lucy and Vasquez. She suspected for a long time and she could not read minds. Not to mention, she was terrible at recognizing the signs for that sort of thing.

"Kara and I want you to come over for dinner," Alex said. They had not discussed when he would come over, but they had discussed telling him. She would let Kara know she invited him as soon as she could. If Kara had a problem with it, then she would take care of that.

"Are you cooking?" he asked with a bit of a smirk.

Alex squared her shoulders. "I can cook!" Well, she could do a little something.

"I'm not sure if I want to chance that."

She snorted. "Fine. We'll order out." She planned on that anyway since cooking for Kara was like cooking for a family of five. She did not have that kind of time.

He smiled a little. "Let me know what time."

"Of course." Alex stepped away, needing to go shower and get dressed for lunch with Kara.

She took her bike to the CatCo building, knowing Kara loved riding on her bike, in case Kara wanted to go somewhere far for food. Texting Kara she was there, she waited in the lobby of the building. She would have liked to go pick Kara up at her desk, but knowing Cat considered her presence a distraction was enough to keep her downstairs. She did not want to get Kara into any trouble. Kara practically bounced over to her when she got off of the elevator.

"Where do you want to go for lunch?" Kara wrapped their arms together and pulled Alex toward the door, moving her with much more ease than last night.

"It doesn't matter to me. You're the one who eats like she has a hollow leg," Alex replied with a smile.

Kara chuckled. "I've never actually understood that phrase. If I had a hollow leg, why would I eat more?"

"I believe the implications are you're putting food into the hollow leg."

"But, why?"

"I have no idea. Sometimes, phrases aren't meant to make sense. Now, where do you want to go?"

It was a good thing she brought the bike, as Kara wanted food from cross town. Alex enjoyed the way Kara clung to her back when they rode, as if she wanted to merge with Alex's back. _Is this how Kara feels when we fly together and I hold onto her?_ Alex imagined so.

They sat down at the restaurant and while they waited for food, Alex decided to let Kara know she invited J'onn for dinner. "I figured it's time we tell him. If you don't mind."

Kara shook her head. "I don't mind. I think it's a good idea since we've already told everyone else. So, when are we going to tell your mom?"

Alex blew out a breath as her stomach dropped into her feet. She wanted to put that off forever, but it was not possible. She loved Kara and wanted their relationship to move forward. For that to happen, she needed to tell her mother.

"Alex, it'll be okay." Kara reached across the table and took Alex's hand.

Kara could probably hear her heart pounding in her chest. Alex did not feel any better, even with Kara holding her hand. Of course Kara thought everything would be okay. Kara never got in trouble with her mother. Everything was always Alex's fault.

"I know it will," Alex lied. She was not sure how this would play out, but she still certain it would end in her death. Her mother would not stand for her defiling Kara in this way. So, even if her mother did not murder her with her own two hands, which Alex could not put by her, it was likely the words that would destroy Alex. She thought about her maybe-attempted suicide. Her mother could push her _that_ far.

Kara gave her a small smile. "Tell that to your heartbeat."

Alex only laughed, not having anything else to say. Thankfully, their food arrived before she needed to say anything. Kara jumped right into her food, enjoying two types of jambalaya as well as most of Alex's gumbo. Cajun food was a treat, as the restaurant was way too expensive for them to eat it often.

"One day, we should take a trip to New Orleans," Alex found herself saying. She and Kara had been through a lot, but they had not been to many places together. Would they be able to do this before telling her mother? She doubted it.

Kara's face lit up. "That would be perfect! We'll have a great time. I've actually never been to Louisiana. Have you?"

Alex shrugged and it took every fiber of her being to keep from slouching in her seat. "For work." She would never get to see New Orleans or any other part of the world with Kara. She knew she should accept that. _Yeah, and don't make plans you can't keep_.

"You've been a lot of places for work?"

Alex nodded. "A few." She did not really get to enjoy any of those places. When she went some place for work, it was seriously work, be it for aliens or just science in general. She rarely had time to enjoy the sights beyond seeing them from her hotel. _And, you never will, so accept it and don't rope Kara into your stupid fantasies that won't happen_.

"I want to fly with you." The look in Kara's eyes were like she relived a dream.

Alex shook her head. "That's dangerous."

"I know, but I love it. I love you."

Alex smiled and her stomach settled because of those words. Maybe that was how she would survive things with her mother. Kara would simply say those magic words to her and somehow everything would be all right. _Oh, please. You know that's not true. You're doomed. You've always been doomed_.

"I want to make plans with you, for the future," Alex said. Kara was her future, if her mother decided to allow her to live. _She won't and you won't, so again, stop dragging Kara into your fantasies. You know it'll only hurt her more when you're gone_. Her stomach dropped into her feet. The pain of Kara being alone hurt more than the thought of her mother killing her.

Kara smiled. "Me, too."

"Not just plans like trips, which will be nice, but… even like…" Alex blew out a breath. "I almost marked you the last night. I want to mark you." She wanted to, but this was new and Kara did not truly understand what a mating mark meant. Hell, she might never truly understand what it meant. Alex wanted that, though. She wanted all that entailed as well. _I want to live_. She needed to be strong, not just for herself, not just for Kara, but for all of this.

"I know. Can we talk about that after we tell your mom? You know I want to exchange bonding bracelets with you and vows and everything," Kara replied.

Alex felt a smile curl onto her lips. Kara had expressed this a number of times, but she still found it so hard to believe. Why did Kara want her? Kara said she was the best person had ever met and Alex did not understand that.

"How did I get so lucky?" Alex accidentally said that aloud. Maybe it would help her push through this thing with her mother, give her the will to fight back if she needed to.

"I wonder that sometimes, too. Out of everyone in the universe, I'm glad you're the person Fate decided to hand me over to."

"Well, really Clark and it was more my parents than me."

Kara shook her head. "It was you. You were the one who had my back, who tried to help me be a regular kid, and stuff like that. Even when you tried to help me with my homework, I marveled over everything you did. I mean, whenever your mom or dad tried to help, I didn't get it, but you always knew how to help me get it. You always knew how to make me feel comfortable."

"And uncomfortable." There were times Alex was not proud of. Times when she abandoned Kara, times when she shunned Kara, times when she just wanted Kara to go away, so she could be a regular kid, so she could get her parents attention, so someone could remember she was more than "the weird kid's sister."

Kara ducked her head and focused on eating for a while. "It hurt," she whispered.

"I know. I'm sorry." It hurt to know she hurt Kara. She might never forgive herself for her behavior, even with the reasons and justifications.

Kara shook her head. "I get it now. Hell, I think I got it then. It hurt, but then we got close and I felt really cool being close to you. Then, you left for college and it was weird again and it hurt again."

"I explained to you what that was about," Alex said. She did not want Kara to think she was abandoning her back then. They had already had problems when she had been made to move out of their shared bedroom. Kara had cried and raged, accused Alex of leaving her like everyone else. She never wanted Kara to think she was running away from her, leaving her behind, leaving her alone like so many others had done.

"I know, but it still felt weird and it still hurt to be without you. Because, in theory, I could've still saw you every day and we could've still hung out, but you know…" Kara shrugged a little.

Alex shook her head and cased the restaurant for what had to be the twentieth time. "Maybe we should talk about this at home. We can figure out what to do when J'onn comes over, too."

Kara nodded and they dropped the conversation for the moment. Once they were done eating, Alex bought Kara some cookies to go and then returned her to work. They shared a soft kiss in front of the building and then parted ways. Alex returned to work, finding Lucy in her office, flipping through a report.

"Do you need another ass-kicking?" Alex inquired.

"I don't know how, but you're cheating somehow," Lucy replied.

Alex scoffed. "You're just not as good as you think you are." Lucy was a force to be reckoned with for sure, but she was nothing like fist fighting with rogue aliens.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "You think way too highly of yourself."

"You're also a distraction for Vasquez."

Lucy stiffened. "What?"

"Oh, come on. You've noticed she fights a lot better when you're just watching rather than in on it. Making it worse, you know her instincts make her want to protect you, so she throws herself in front of you without thinking."

A soft smile settled on Lucy's face and her eyes became gentle. It was a look she often got on her face when Vasquez was involved. They were so in love with each other and it was impossible to hide. Alex hoped her relationship ended up something like theirs.

"Usually, stuff like that would bother me, but not with her because I know it's not coming from a place of arrogance or superiority. She just cares. She's a good alpha," Lucy said.

"She is."

"And a good friend?" Lucy leaned in, like that would help Alex admit it.

Alex let loose a snort. "We keep telling you, we're not friends."

"Yeah, which is why I'm here on both business and pleasure. We have to go through the details for the op and you're coming on a double-date with me and Vas."

"And why am I doing that?"

"Mostly for me to check in on your progress with Kara, but also for you and Vas to admit your friendship, dammit. You just had drinks together two nights ago."

Alex glanced away. "Yeah, because she wanted to know how to do that flip move and I wanted to know more about the updated communication system she's installing."

Lucy sighed and actually face-palmed. "I can't believe you two. I seriously can't. She said literally the same thing word for word. Did you two plan that?"

"No, why would we?"

Lucy threw up her hands. "Because there's no way in hell two people could be this ridiculous seriously!"

"Maybe you're the one being ridiculous. Anyway, I don't have time for a double-date right now. Kara and I are going to tell J'onn this weekend and then we'll probably tell my mom."

Lucy nodded. "Good plan. J'onn will be understanding."

"Does he know about you and Vasquez?"

"I made my intentions very clear to him before I ever asked Vasquez out."

"Of course you asked her out." Alex was not surprised by this, even though the rest of the world probably would have thought it was crazy for an omega to ask an alpha out.

"I am her superior. How would that look if she were to ask me out?"

Alex did not have an answer for that, as it did not seem right either way, but they worked, so whatever. Not wanting to end up putting her foot in her mouth, Alex steered the conversation to the operation. Work helped get her mind off the fact that she was going to have to tell her mother about her relationship soon. Soon, she would be dead.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara was home first, but she expected that since Alex texted her about some mission she had to help plan. She took care of dinner, picking up some of Alex's favorite things, wanting to help Alex relax when she came in. She also loaded Alex's favorite show onto the laptop and connected it to the television. She was all right with Alex having one beer, so she set one out. What else would help Alex relax?

Kara went and showered, putting on one of Alex's t-shirts and her shorts, no undergarments. The clothing was a little tight, but she did not care. She liked the feel of Alex's clothing on her, feeling Alex around her. Her hair was wet and she left her glasses on the coffee table. She then texted Alex, desiring to know when she would be home. Alex did not respond for a few minutes.

"I just got out of another meeting," Alex replied in the text.

Kara pouted. Alex would not be home for another half-hour then. Kara was tempted to start eating, but knew she would eat everything if she started now. That would not be helpful. So, she killed time by taking care of some work, making sure several things were in order for Miss Grant, especially after the mishap with the party. She got so into it, she missed Alex until the door opened and closed.

"Sorry I'm late. The last meeting wouldn't end." Alex let loose a long suffering groan.

"I don't mind. I got dinner," Kara replied, putting down her tablet.

"Cool." Alex wandered over to the sofa and stopped dead in her tracks. "Whoa."

Kara smiled. "You like?" She was not sure why she thought putting on Alex's clothes would be a good idea, but the look in Alex's eyes let her know this was a great idea. She would keep that in mind for later.

"You in my clothes? Fuck, yes." How Kara knew to do that would be a question for another time apparently. For now, Alex marched over to Kara and embraced her with a loving hug and kiss. Kara returned the show of affection and clung to Alex, hoping she could tell through the embrace that she was missed.

"You want to get comfy before we eat?" Kara asked.

"You'll be all right?"

Kara smiled. "Yeah, I've been handling some work. I can do that until you're done."

Alex nodded and was off. It seemed to take her forever, but also no time at all to return. As soon as she was on the couch, Kara snuggled into her. This was the best part of the day for Kara, being able to just cuddle into Alex without fear of crushing her, being able to feel her and be close, like a normal couple, be it on Earth or on Krypton. Alex kissed the top of her head as she put the tablet down for the second, probably final time tonight.

"Have I told you how much I like this?" Kara asked, arms around Alex's middle.

"Like what?" Alex leaned forward, inspecting the takeout containers.

"Cuddling up to you."

"You used to tell me all the time back at home, especially during storms."

Kara cringed. "Storms were the worst." There was always an overload of her senses and it so hard to deal with, overwhelming and her mind could never settle enough for her to calm down. They were still hard to deal with, but she learned. "I'm glad you were there or I'd have just cried the whole time."

"You did cry the whole time."

"Yeah, but I got to do it tucked against you and it helped more than you'll ever know. I always worried about holding onto you too tight. Now, I don't have to worry and it's so nice. I would stay like this forever if it was possible." It helped when Alex fed her some of the takeout. Yeah, this was the best ever, even better than sex. "This was one of those things I missed when you went to college. There would be storms and you… you weren't there." She held in a sniffle, not wanting to worry Alex. It was the past.

Alex pulled her closer and rubbed her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I thought you could handle it and you could."

"But, I didn't want to. A lot of the stuff that I learned to handle when you left, I didn't want to. I just wanted someone to be there for me, to not leave." Kara could not help sniffling now as her eyes stung with the threat of tears. She was always so alone and she hated it. It was like being eaten alive slowly from the inside, like having a creeping disease slowly killing her and she could feel each moment, each movement of it.

Alex cooed to comfort her. "I told you, Kara, I didn't leave you."

"I know, but you were still gone and I was still scared a lot. I was able to push through and I guess it was good because it helps me as Supergirl, but I still missed you so much." She gave Alex a squeeze. She never wanted to be without Alex now. Never.

Alex ran her fingers through Kara's hair. "I'm sorry, but it's good you learned to be independent. I had to learn the same thing. I was lost without you depending on me and the world was crashing around me without you or Dad. It was all so much. Too much really."

Kara blinked. "I never even thought about what you were probably going through when you left. How selfish am I?" Alex talked about how she crashed and burned on her own. Without J'onn, who knew what would have happened to Alex. "I should've been there for you, like you were there for me." _I probably wouldn't have even known how to be there for Alex_.

Alex laughed and fed her again. "You're more than allowed to be selfish, babe. I don't mind you being that way because you've been through so much. Be selfish with me whenever you want to. Take as much of me as you need, as you desire. It's all I want right now. You give so much to everyone. Please, take every now and then."

Kara's heart swelled. Alex was so sweet, which was why she did not want to take from Alex like everyone else did. She wanted to give and give and give. "But, I don't want to take from you. I want to give everything to you. I want to make your life as easy as possible."

Alex sighed. "I don't think my life was meant to be easy, but I'm happy whenever you're happy. So, if being selfish and getting what you want with me makes you happy, then it makes me happy."

Kara's brow furrowed. It made sense, but she did not like the idea of taking from Alex. She knew what it was like to have everything taken from her. She did not want to drain Alex like that, hollow Alex out like that. That was not an act of love. She loved Alex and wanted to fill her to the brim with love and affection, wanted Alex to overflow with her adoration.

"You know what would make me happy?" Kara asked.

"More food?"

Kara laughed. "Good guess, but no. I want a better pet name. 'Babe' is so generic. Anybody could be babe. Same with baby." She knew she could not argue with Alex about giving to her. She would have to learn to do it without Alex noticing.

Alex snickered. "Really? You don't even have a pet name for me, but you want a better one?"

That was true. Kara was not sure what she would like to call Alex. Alex was her everything. Was there a word to encompass that?

"You are my Brightest Star," Kara decided right there.

"Your brightest star?" Alex asked.

"Yes. It's part of the Kryptonian vows. You're my star, but so much beyond that. You shine with Rao, bring light to my world, and make it possible to navigate my world at night. My Brightest Star."

Alex blew out an exaggerated breath. "Okay, so I guess I'll start working on something beyond babe or baby."

Kara smiled and they began eating while also watching the show Kara loaded up. Well, it was more watching them. Kara was focused on the food and Alex seemed to be focused on her. As they ate, Alex could not keep her hands to herself. Kara liked the attention, but she also liked the feel of Alex's clothing on her and Alex pressing the clothes against her was all the better. She liked the idea of Alex enjoying her in her clothing. Soon, the food was gone, but the cuddles remained.

"What are we going to do about J'onn coming over?" Kara asked.

"We serve dinner and tell him. I don't see what else there is to do," Alex replied.

"How do we tell him?"

Alex was quiet for a moment. "Good question. Knowing you, you'll blurt out that you love me while I try to figure out the best way to say it."

"Well, I do love you. In every way possible."

"And I love you, but how do we explain that to J'onn?" Alex rubbed her chin. "We probably could just tell him that and he'll understand."

"Especially if you hold my hand while we say it."

Alex chuckled. "And I'll kiss your knuckles if necessary."

"Oh, I love that idea." She imagined Alex kissing her hand like in a movie. "He might also understand if I tell him you're my Brightest Star. He knows about Kryptonian culture. But, back to the hand holding thing because that's always good, but we haven't tried you kissing my knuckles. We might need to practice, so it doesn't seem awkward. Can you do it right now, actually? Oh, wait, no, can you do that and then we go to bed and make out a lot?"

"You certainly have a lot of requests." Alex took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"Oh, that's just the start."

"Well, before we get to that, someone has to clean up out here."

Kara puffed out her cheeks, but they did have to clean up. Now would be a great time for super speed, but she had been under the red sunlights in the apartment for way too long at the time. It would be too much effort to recharge her powers, only to drain them again, so she could sleep with Alex.

They cleaned up together, mostly having to throw things out. Kara grabbed the laptop before going into the bedroom. It was not so late they might not stay up to watch something. As she put down the laptop on the nightstand, Alex came up behind her, kissing her on the neck.

"I hope you're not trying to watch more porn," Alex said, hands wandering Kara's abdomen.

Kara sighed, reaching behind her to caress Alex's cheek. "No. Just in case we wanna catch up on a show after."

"I promise you, you will want to fall into a deep sleep after I'm done with you."

Kara groaned at the thought, at the vow. She had no doubt Alex would keep that promise and she looked forward to it. She pushed back against Alex, the curve of her ass hitting just a little high for Alex. Alex did not seem to mind, hands working under Kara's shirt. Kara hissed as pleasant jolts went through her already, skin itching for more of Alex's touch.

"You feel so good to me, Alex," Kara said.

Alex responded by nipping Kara's neck. Kara moaned and took Alex's hand, easing it down into her shorts. But, she did not get what she was trying for. Alex moved her hand, making Kara whine. The hand traveled to her bare thigh, caressing the area like a pet. Kara wanted to melt.

"You're not wearing underwear," Alex said, voice a whisper in Kara's ear.

"Maybe never again," Kara replied. At least not at home.

Alex groaned and slipped her hand into the shorts from the bottom rather from the top. Kara fell against Alex, not surprised Alex kept her on her feet. She felt a single fingertip ease through her warmth. The angle was odd, so it was hard to buck against Alex's finger, showing she wanted more. She whined.

"I thought… I thought you wanted to give me everything I wanted," Kara said.

"In due time, ba… beloved."

"Better, but not great."

Alex growled and she gave Kara more, as planned. Kara sighed as Alex's middle finger slid inside of her. She clutched Alex's neck and Alex gave her breast a good squeeze. Then, there was a twist to her nipple and Kara was not sure how she managed to stay on her feet without knocking Alex over. She had to be dripping down Alex's hand now. She was definitely rippling around her finger. Lips on her neck added to the sensation, reminding of the bite mark from before, and before she knew it, she came apart right in Alex's hands. Kara panted as Alex's movement slowed, but her lips remained on Kara's neck and her fingers flicked a nipple.

"I need you. I need you. I need you," Kara said, shoving her shorts down to her ankles. She then grabbed for Alex's shorts, pushing them down as well.

"I got you." Alex gave her ass a pat, which made her want to bend over. Kara was not sure why that was, but it did not matter as she gave into the impulse. She was in the perfect position to receive Alex.

Kara cried out, throwing her head back as Alex slid through her wetness. The cry turned into a pleasured scream as Alex pushed inside. _Oh, Rao. Oh, Roa. Oh, Rao_. Her body was ablaze and she clutched the bedspread, backing up into Alex.

"This never gets old," Kara said, letting a long breath out into the mattress.

"No, it doesn't." Alex ran her hands along Kara's back before grabbing her hips and going to town, pounding right into Kara oh, so perfectly. It was not exactly rough, but it was not as gentle as Alex tended to be.

Kara twisted and turned into the mattress, moaning and groaning as Alex made her body sing. Alex was so perfect. This was perfect. And then Alex reached between her legs and made things even more perfect.

"Fuck…" Kara sobbed and reached back, needing to hold some part of Alex as she was dragged into a sea of elation. Once there was flesh firmly in her hand, Kara felt safe in letting go and climaxed right there, drowning in bliss.

"You have such a filthy mouth," Alex said before dropping down to place kisses to Kara's shoulders. "Let me know when you can move because you need to get on the bed."

Kara could only make a noise. Words were hard. Moving was even harder and she only wanted to lie there, enjoying the feel of Alex. Then, Alex pulled out, earning another whine. Alex lifted Kara up, just enough to get her on the bed. Kara put her arms out, wanting Alex against her. Alex fell into her arms while her legs fell open, entreating Alex for more.

Alex reached between them and moaned as she slid through Kara's passion before she pushed inside once more. Kara threw her head back again as Alex settled and pumped, causing a rush of ecstasy through Kara. Alex leaned down, kissing Kara as she moved her hips, sparking the feeling higher and higher with each thrust. Kara moaned into Alex's mouth, but did not break their kiss. Kara wrapped her legs around Alex, moving with her, yanking her closer. Alex shifted, changing the angle a bit, hitting new spaces inside of Kara, fanning ever higher flames. Alex managed to move her hand to palm, mold, and caress Kara's breast, igniting new pleasure. Kara was certain this was what it felt like to touch the sun, having Alex so close. The idea was enough to push Kara over the edge once more and this time Alex followed her with the best groan.

"I love that sound," Kara said.

"Hmmm?"

"The sound you make when you come."

A different type of groan escaped Alex. "Who taught you that word?" The question was asked as Alex settled against her and nuzzled her neck. She could feel light kisses to her throat, each press sending sparks down her nerves. The ghost of a mark still managing to haunt her and she hoped that would be the case until the mark was replaced.

Kara laughed. "Porn." This was not true, but she knew it would bug Alex.

Alex made a groused noise into her skin, which was fine. Alex fell asleep before her knot went down. Kara stayed awake, caressing Alex's back, tracing her muscles and scars, memorizing the plane of her back. This was peace and Kara had not realized what peace truly was until she could be with Alex like this. It was like being able to carry a bit of Alex inside of her, easing an anxiety, chasing away loneliness, and promising companionship. It warded off the seeping disease of being alone. She knew if she allowed it, Alex would give her everything and she tried not to feel guilty over that.

"I want to give you everything as well. I'm not sure how, but I want to," Kara said. She would work on it. Maybe even ask J'onn, as long as it went well when they told him.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex and Kara did not make it a point to use the dining room table, but Alex found herself setting it now. J'onn was due in less than thirty minutes. Kara was cleaning up around the apartment, which she had been doing all day. Kara did not seem to think anything was clean enough and Alex knew it was from nervousness. She did not understand why Kara was nervous, though.

"Kara, it's only J'onn," Alex said as she plated the food they ordered.

Kara looked at her with big, sorrowful blue eyes. "It's not only J'onn. His opinion matters so much to you, so I want everything to go right and for him to give us his blessing. I want him to be happy for you."

Alex moved and took Kara's hand. "He will be and even if he's not, that's not going to make me stop seeing you. I love you." She leaned in, giving Kara a kiss that she hoped held all of her affection for the woman before her.

Kara pressed against her, deepening the kiss. A knock at the door caused them to break apart. Alex caressed Kara's cheek before going to get the door. J'onn stood before her.

"J'onn, thanks for coming," Alex said.

"I brought wine," he replied with a smile, holding up his bounty.

"You didn't need to, but thanks."

They all went to sit down, opened J'onn's wine, and began eating. They discussed things going on at the DEO for half the meal, but eventually that died down. J'onn looked at the two of them and Alex knew this was the time.

"You invited me here for a reason, Alex," J'onn said.

"I did. Well, we did." Alex motioned to herself and Kara before reaching over for Kara's hand. "I thought… we thought… well, you should know. We're together, like a couple. We're together and in love."

"Like married couple in love," Kara added.

J'onn grunted and nodded. Alex was not sure what that meant and the fact that his expression did not change did not help. Kara squeezed her hand, enough to hurt a little since they did not have the red sunlamps on.

"How long have you been together?" he asked.

"A couple of months," Alex answered.

He nodded and he looked between them. "It makes sense, I suppose."

"Did you know?" Kara asked.

"I did not, but it makes sense. Your devotion to each other is deeper than many relationships I've seen and I've been alive for over three hundred years," he replied.

"Are you okay with it?" Alex asked, surprised by the lump in her throat.

"We can still work together, right?" Kara chimed in.

"I don't see why you wouldn't be able to work together. First off, it's not like I would realistically be able to stop you without killing one of you. Your bond has always been more than anything anyone could stand between. I don't see how adding to your relationship changes anything, unless you plan to make out in the middle of a fight," J'onn said.

"Uh, of course not," Alex said, holding in a cringe. She had no plans of being anything but professional during work hours. "I would never."

"Then, I don't see how this changes anything. Your relationship has always been an asset. Why should it not be the same now?" he countered with a shrug.

"Were you expecting this?" Kara asked.

"No. I've never actually tried to categorize your emotions for each other or your bond. It always seemed like something beyond my understanding and I've always respected that. I think the closest I've ever considered for you were soul-mates," he answered.

"So, you didn't think of us as sisters?" Alex asked. It would not surprise her since he was one of the few people who knew Kara was not human, but they had carried the "sister" label for long, it was hard to believe someone did not buy into it.

He shook his head and sipped his wine. "No. It's never occurred to me. I might refer to you two as such, but it's more because that's what you call each other. Knowing you didn't come into contact with each other until you were teens, knowing Kara is from another planet, it's always colored my perception of you and your bond. It's always made me wonder. How did you get so close? Where did this bond come from? The only answer I ever had was soul-mates."

Kara tilted her head to the side a little. "So, you see us as soul-mates?" Her eyes seemed to sparkle a bit.

"I think that's the best way I could describe it. I look at it as if you two were stranded alone somewhere, you'd be able to survive because of each other, but you'd also be able to readjust to society when you got back because of each other. You'd keep each other sane in every situation, keep each other safe in every situation, and you'd never feel like you were alone as long as the other is somewhere out there. You both know if something happened to the other, you wouldn't stop fighting until you were back together. You bring out the best in each other and try to regulate the worse," he said.

"It hasn't always been like that," Alex said. "In fact, it might have only gotten like that recently."

Kara shook her head. "I don't think so. I think it's always been underneath our skin, even when we're apart, even before we opened up to each other."

Alex was not sure, but she knew one thing for certain. "There's always been something."

"And there probably always will be something," J'onn said. "You two took a small seed and now it's grown into a mighty tree. It's on its way to being one of those giant redwoods and soon it'll be beyond those." He clapped his hands and then held up a finger. "That's what it is. You two are the stuff of legends."

Kara blushed and Alex chuckled, waving that off. "I wouldn't say that much." Of course, it did not stop Alex from sitting up a little taller.

J'onn shook his head and leaned forward, invested in a way that Alex enjoyed. He cared so much about them. "There are Martian fairy tales that tell stories similar to you two. Epic heroes who save the world and each other. There were myths like you, adopted siblings, one of the gods and one of mortals and still equal as heroes."

"And lovers?" Kara asked.

He nodded. "And lovers in some cases. Also, same sex if that's an issue."

"Mars sounds way more advanced than here, then," Alex said.

"Are we same sex on Earth?" Kara asked.

Alex groaned. "Ah, geez." She would prefer Kara to not being sexually philosophical around J'onn.

"I'm just saying, technically on Krypton, you wouldn't be considered the same sex as me. Same gender maybe, but not sex," Kara replied. "But, it wouldn't really matter since Kryptonians stopped reproducing through sex decades earlier."

"Then, why does it matter?" Alex asked.

"It doesn't." Kara smiled at her.

"Have you two told anyone else?" J'onn asked.

"Just friends, the core group that knows I'm Supergirl. We're going to tell Alex's mom soon," Kara replied.

J'onn nodded. "Everyone took it fine, I gather?"

"Yeah. It was good, which is why we figured we'd tell you," Alex said.

He nodded again. "I'm glad you hold me in such regard to let me know."

"Honestly, I thought you knew already. At least knew I was in love with Kara," Alex admitted.

"At no point in time did I suspect a romantic aspect to your relationship. I always considered your bond something beyond my understanding. Because, as much as I loved my wife and my daughters, I never had a peer that I felt so strongly for like you two do with each other. I didn't know what to make of it. I accepted it because I had enough Martian history and literature to at least equate it to something," J'onn replied.

"That's really cool," Kara said.

"So. We're fine?" Alex asked, needing to be sure.

"Yes, it's fine. Again, I couldn't stop you if I wanted to, anyway. But, I don't want to. I respect your relationship and your bond. It's not going to change anything at the office, is it? No mushy talk or giggling, right?" he inquired.

"Of course not!" Alex sat up straighter, earning a laugh from Kara. She shot Kara a glare, but continued to sit at attention.

"It hasn't changed anything and it won't," Kara replied.

He nodded and smiled at them. "Then, I wish you both the best. I hope your story doesn't end in tragedy, as was the Martian tradition."

Alex winced, but kept in that she felt this could only end in tragedy, even if she survived this issue of telling her mother. One day, Kara would alone, or at least without her. Alex was not sure how long Martians lived, but hopefully, J'onn had a long life ahead of him and he would be there for Kara. It was not like she could count on Clark, the big idiot.

"So, do you have any plans for the future?" J'onn asked.

"We've spoke about bonding traditions for both of us, but nothing too deep yet. This aspect of our relationship is still new and we're still navigating it a bit," Alex answered.

"I'm still trying to get familiar with human sexual behavior," Kara added.

Alex was horrified. "Kara, he doesn't need to know that!"

He laughed and held up a hand. "I don't. Again, I wish you both the best in this new aspect of your relationship. As long as it doesn't interfere with anything at the DEO, I don't have a problem with it. I suspect it'll get in the way just like when you saw each other as sisters, but I'm used to that."

Alex could not dispute that. Whenever Kara was involved, things would always be messy with her, regardless of what their label was. But, at least J'onn understood that. Maybe more than she ever gave him credit for. Hell, maybe more than she gave herself credit for.

The rest of the night was normal. They talked, Kara and Alex wanting to know more Martian fairy tales and J'onn seemed more than happy to share. They had dessert and then J'onn left. They cleaned up and settled on the couch for some television. Kara laid in Alex's lap and Alex busied herself by running her fingers through Kara's hair.

"So… all that's left is to tell your mom," Kara said.

"Yeah." Alex's heart went into her feet immediately. It felt like her insides shriveled up and maybe she would not survive even the thought of telling her mother.

"I know it scares you—" Kara started.

"Let's do it next weekend." Might as well jump in front of that bullet now. If she survived, they could get on with lives and if not, Kara would not have too many memories of this time together to hurt her.

Kara stared at her. "Are you sure?"

"No." Honestly, whenever it came to her mother, the longer she could keep something from her, the better, but she knew Kara did not live by that same philosophy. Who was she to drag Kara into her dysfunction?

"I don't want you to do something you don't want to."

"We're going to have to do it eventually. Beyond that, we should do it sooner rather than later as it'll only get worse if she finds out from someone else." Alex was already certain her mother was going to skin her and roast her for this relationship, but if she learned about it from another source, flayed and cooked would sound like paradise. _Either way, you're dead_.

"You look like you're going to throw up, though."

"I'm sure I do." In fact, she might actually vomit, if not now then when they went to tell her mother. "Still, we have to do it."

Kara sighed. "Is there anything I can say to make this better?"

"No." Alex could use the week to treat Kara, as she needed Kara to understand how she felt and how special she thought Kara was. She could also plan for her death whatever day her mother was free. She could already hear her mother scolding her, judging her, condemning her for taking advantage of her sister. Each imagined word, gesture, look already poisoned her blood, melted her veins, and stabbed her resolve, her will.

"Alex."

"Huh?"

"Come back to me."

"Huh?" Alex stroked Kara's hair. "I'm right here."

"You're a million miles away here." Kara reached up and placed her finger to Alex's forehead. "Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to."

Alex sighed. "Yes, we do." Mentally, she already went through why they would have to do it.

Kara sat up and gave Alex a gentle kiss to her mouth. It was meant to soothe and it did in a way, but now Alex would have this ball of anxiety in her belly. She would start her own destruction before they even made it her mother. The ball of anxiety would grow and she would shrink, turning into an insignificant bug for her mother to squish. It was probably a long time coming anyway. Maybe it was inevitable. Either way, it was coming.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara could tell Alex was upset with the idea that come Friday night, they would tell Eliza about their relationship, but she did not know how to help Alex. Words did nothing. Alex's behavior was a little strange now as well. Monday, they had lunch together, which was not odd, but then Alex came to pick her up after work, which was not the norm. Now, there was a giant bouquet of flowers being left on her desk.

"Oh, wow. Those are so beautiful," Crystal cooed from across the way, hands pressed together against her mouth.

"Damn it," Kara hissed. Alex was going to get her in trouble. She had no place to put this monstrosity to get it out of the way before Miss Grant saw it.

"Somebody is loved," Meghan remarked.

Winn wandered over and winced. "Wow. Is this an apology bouquet? Because, if so, what the heck did Alex do? It had to be super bad."

"She didn't do anything and I hope that wasn't a reference to my awesome song and dance." Kara tried to glare at Winn as he laughed, but it did not stop him. She grabbed the card and read it, _I just wanted you to know I love you_. It was hard to be angry with Alex over that, but this was still a huge issue. She blew out a breath. "Okay, you know what, no one make a big deal out of this. If we all pretend it's not here, Miss Grant might not say anything."

Thankfully, everyone around her was kind enough to do just that. They all went about their business, working. Kara glanced inside Cat's office to see her staring at the flowers. Kara was about to fumble with her glasses, but instead, turned her attention to her computer and went right back to work. This happened to work. Cat did not say anything about the flowers until Kara had to step into her office to go over a few things. That went smooth, but Cat could not let the bouquet go.

"Tell your girlfriend a bouquet that big is trying too hard unless she's planning to show up and propose right after it's delivered," Cat said.

Kara pushed up her glasses. "Uh, yeah. I'll definitely tell her that one." She agreed, actually. The bouquet was too much. She rushed out to finish up her work.

At the end of the day, Alex was there to pick her up again. This time with an SUV that she probably borrowed from the DEO, so they had something to haul the flowers in. Kara liked the attention, but something was wrong. She took Alex's hand and felt how hard Alex tried to squeeze, like she never wanted to let go, like she was afraid to let go.

"Alex, we're okay, right?" Kara asked as Alex opened the door for her, like she had seen in movies.

"Of course we are. Why would you even ask?" Alex smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. In fact, it looked like it hurt her face.

Kara did not get a chance to respond to that as Winn popped up. "Hey, Alex. Just so you know, everyone went gaga over the flowers you sent Kara. Very nice." He gave Alex two thumbs up.

Alex smiled. "I just wanted to let her know I was thinking of her and she's special."

"Cat didn't even say anything about it. So, it was really good."

"I'm glad."

And just like that Kara could not address the issue with the flowers. Alex was proud of herself and Winn made it seem like an awesome thing. The muffin basket that came the next day was more awesome and easier to conceal, but definitely a sign that something was wrong. Alex should know better than to send her things at work like this. Beyond the obvious attention, she was tempted to eat all the muffins. This could not continue.

"Alex," Kara said as they settled into a booth in a cafe not too far from the CatCo building for lunch.

"Yes?" Alex reached across the table and took her hand, stroking the back with her thumb. This was something Alex had taken to doing the past couple of days as well and Kara could get used to it.

"As much as I appreciate it, I need you to stop sending me stuff at work. I'm going to get in trouble," Kara pointed out. Not to mention made fun of. "And it draws attention to me, which we both know isn't a good thing."

Alex straightened. "You're right. That's not very smart of me. I just wanted you and everyone else to know you're loved. I'll stop."

"Why are you doing it?"

"I just want you to know I love you."

Kara smiled. "I do know. You don't need to send stuff to work for me to know that."

"Still, I hear romantic gestures are good."

"Well, that's true, but still not at work." Besides, she knew there was something more to these gestures than just romance.

Alex propped her hands up on the table, palms forward. "No, I will definitely stop. I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to you. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

Kara nodded. It was clear Alex had not thought that through, but why? It was not like Alex to do things like that. There had to be more to it than that.

"Alex, are you okay?" Kara asked.

"I am. It'll be fine," Alex answered too quickly.

"What will be fine? Is it work?" There was a mission lined up and Alex had helped plan a good portion of it. Could that be bothering her?

"No, no, no. I already declined the mission since we have to see Mom on Friday."

"Is that it?"

Alex glanced away. "It'll fine."

"Of course it will." Kara gave her hand a light squeeze. "If it's not fine, we can leave. I'll talk to Eliza. Hell, I'll take all the blame if necessary." Eliza was hard on Alex, that was no secret, but she did not want Alex to let that drive her crazy before they even made it to Midvale.

"It's not about taking the blame, Kara. She's going to assign blame, to me. It would be fine if only I know this is the thing that'll make her rain down fire and brimstone on me. She moved me in a different room to protect you, Kara. She took me out of my space for you."

Kara swallowed. It never occurred to her how hard that had to be for Alex. It was one thing when they were sharing a room, for Alex to have to share her space with this stranger, this alien in every sense of the word. But, then when Alex was moved out, like it had not been her room originally, like it had not been her house originally. Alex probably felt like she was the one who had been adopted and not in a good way. It was like Alex was the outsider.

"I know your mom hurt you with some of her decisions, but she can't make decisions for you anymore. She can't hurt you anymore," Kara said.

Alex shook her head. "Everything she does can always hurt me, everything she says can hurt me. Decisions your mother made for you decades ago still hurt."

Kara could not call her a liar there. This was going to be a mess and there was no way to prevent that. She just had to be there for Alex and hope they could pick up the pieces when it all came down. Maybe Eliza had learned from the Supergirl coming out incident how to deal with Alex.

"It'll be okay," Kara found herself saying. What else could she say?

After lunch, Alex returned Kara to her job and left. Kara did not stay put, having an errand to run anyway. Before she got to that, she went to the DEO, going to J'onn's office. She was in her uniform, just in case someone came in while she was there.

"Can I help you with something, Supergirl?" J'onn asked without looking up from his paperwork.

"We're going to tell Eliza about us in two days and I think Alex is making plans for her own funeral. You've known Eliza for a long time and noticed her relationship with Alex. Is there any way I can make this painless for both of them?" Kara paced in front of the desk, speaking a mile a minute, moving her hands around.

J'onn capped his pen and watched her for a long moment. "I think you have to let them work things out on their own. With Alex and her mother, there will always be issues. Yes, some of those issues stem from you, but many of them go deeper than that and eventually they will have to examine that."

Kara frowned. "Deeper? Like how? Like Eliza wanted another kid deeper or what?"

"No, not like that. Just from observing the two together and knowing what Alex has gone through, Eliza has to eventually come to terms with her parental decisions."

"What if she never does?"

"Then she'll lose her daughter eventually and there's no way she'll let that happen. She's already lost enough with Jeremiah. You have to let them work out their differences, though. I know it's awkward because you're there and you're part of it, but it's their issues."

Kara's frown deepened. "There's nothing I can do?"

"Be there for both of them when things go awry."

"How can I be there for both of them? They'll think I'm choosing sides."

"Do they ever think that?"

"Well, no. They're weirdly evolved with that." Kara sighed, shoulders dropping. "I can't do anything else? I want to help mend their relationship."

"They have to start first. Just be there for them. Remind Alex her mother isn't trying to hurt her. Maybe remind Eliza her words have power, both to hurt and heal."

Kara nodded, hating that was the best advice she probably could get. "Okay. Thanks. You really think everything will be all right?"

"I think Eliza doesn't want to lose her daughter. I also don't think Alex wants to lose her mother. They'll do what they can. You can ward off any pain that might force them apart and give them time to talk."

Kara was not sure about that, but she did not have anything beyond that. So, she took it and ran with it. Bidding J'onn farewell, she went back to work.

-8-8-8-8-

It took all of Alex's self-control to not reach for liquor the second they entered her childhood home. Her mother hugged both her and Kara before leading them into the kitchen where dinner was prepared. Alex resisted the urge to throw herself in a chair and also kept from vomiting, which she had to credit to agent training. Kara smiled at her and took her hand.

"Dinner's almost done. I forgot how much I had to cook for Kara, so there were a few last minute additions," Eliza said with a smile.

"You want us to help you start taking stuff out?" Alex asked. Something to do would keep her from letting her anxiety grow out of control. She already felt like her chest was impossibly tight and breathing was a chore. She would suffocate to death without anything even being around her throat.

"No, no, no. I've got it. You girls relax for a second. I'm sure it was a tiring drive," Eliza said.

It was not great driving home right after work, but it was a thing Alex had done, as she did not trust Kara to drive. Kara liked going fast and did not understand the car might not react in time to things, even with her super-reflexes. Alex and Kara went into the dining room and Alex hoped being out of sight of her mother helped ease the tension in her chest. While Eliza finished up in the kitchen, Alex took a few deep breaths. Kara took her hand in both of hers and kissed her knuckles.

"It'll be fine. It'll be fine," Kara said.

Alex wanted to believe that, but this was the most impending of impending dooms she had ever felt, including when Kara was ready to sacrifice herself for the Earth. Eliza came back out, food in hand. She noticed Kara holding Alex's hands and narrowed her gaze, but did not say anything. It was not until everything was out and Eliza was seated that she had questions, and comments undoubtedly.

"So, what brings you two by? Is everything all right?" Eliza inquired.

"Everything's fine," Kara practically chirped, eyes wide and smile wider. She really was terrible at lying if a person knew what to look for.

"That's why you haven't let go of Alex's hand since you two sat down. What's wrong? You can tell me anything," Eliza said, eyes on Alex.

Alex wanted to call bullshit on that, but could see the worry in her mother's eyes. Right now, Eliza did not suspect the worst in the sense that she knew what Alex had done to Kara. Right now, Eliza suspected the worst in the sense that she was concerned something could be wrong with her daughter. Well, time to wipe that emotion off of the face of the Earth.

"I'm dating Kara. Well, we're dating each other," Alex said, using every ounce of her training to keep her mother's gaze and not throw up. Mentally, she high-fived herself for keeping it together during her greatest fear. After this, she would go drown in booze, though. _Uh, no, that's how you end up in the hospital, probably dead from alcohol poisoning during a maybe-suicide episode_.

"We're in love!" Kara grinned, as if that would help.

"Alex," her mother said the name with that measured disappointment Alex was all too familiar with. It would only get worse each time she said it now until it reached a level where Alex was certain her name actually translated to "you're the worst thing I've ever done in life and I hate your existence."

"Eventually, we're going to mate and have a bonding ceremony," Alex said. Well, it was the plan. Now, she would probably die at the dinner table, not having eaten a thing, so not even respected enough for a last meal.

"Alex, are you sleeping with your sister?" Eliza inquired, scowl in place, eyes hard. She did not look disgusted or even disappointed. She looked furious, like if she could, she would slap Alex from across the table. Good thing her arm was not that long and she was too angry to remember she could move.

"I am sleeping with _Kara._ I'm in love with _Kara_ ," Alex replied. Everyone else understood that. Hell, J'onn compared them to legends rather than condemn them.

"We're in love," Kara said, maybe as a correction, maybe to try to take the heat off of Alex. There was no taking the heat off, though. Her mother did not even seem to register Kara said anything.

"She's your sister, Alex!" Eliza glared at her even harder, like Alex was an enemy.

Oddly enough, Alex felt calm for once in the wake of her mother's fury, being looked at as if she was a foe. She was used to things like that, faced foes every day. Maybe she was even a little numb to it, numb to her mother's words, her anger. Kara was not her sister. People knew about them and accepted the relationship as something good for them, not something wrong. This was not wrong and she needed to be sitting across someone who thought it was to finally realize that. She sat up straight and looked her mother dead in the eye. This was not wrong.

"Kara isn't my sister. Kara is so much more than that. Hell, there aren't words," Alex replied. She could not think of anything to cover the emotions she felt for Kara. If she could pull them out of herself and lay them out, they would span wider than the universe itself.

"Soul mates?" Kara chimed in. Apparently, she liked that term. Perhaps it was the best one.

"You took advantage of her, Alex! You know Kara doesn't know any better!" Eliza was on her feet now, glowering, practically breathing fire. "You're supposed to protect her and you've used that against her!"

"How?" Alex screamed, climbing to her feet as well. "How the hell did I take advantage of her? Kara knows if she's in love or not."

"Kara could easily confuse her emotions for you for love. Hell, you could do the same! You both are always together, always under each other, so you don't know how you feel!"

"We're not always under each other. There were years in between when we hardly saw each other, barely spoke to each other, which I'm sure made you happy. That's done and gone, though. We know how we feel. Why can't you just be supportive?" Alex replied.

"Of you being a degenerate? You're supposed to protect Kara and you're taking advantage of your position in her life. You might not be doing it on purpose, but you are."

Alex's mouth trembled and she realized it was not in anger. Sorrow had welled up in her before she realized it. Her mother hit her harder than an enemy could hope to, downed her quickly, but she was not out. Her eyes burned, tears threatening to overtake her. A squeeze from Kara's hand kept everything at bay. She took a breath, steeling herself, shutting down the desire to cry, shutting off the hurt from her mother thinking the worst of her. She would fight back.

"You've always thought the worst of me, thought little of me, tried to break me with a few well placed words and looks. I didn't expect it to be any different right now, but I'm different now. I'm stronger. So, I'll just say this, Kara is not my sister. She and I aren't sisters and we never were. Like I said, we're so much more and if you think I'm a degenerate, a horrible person, someone who took advantage of Kara, then so be it. Anything else you want to level at me? Might as well let go with both barrels. I'd say let me know how disappointed you are in me, but I guess that comes with the territory of being a degenerate. So, maybe just disown me right now and get it over with," Alex said with a shrug. It was not so much that she did not care, but she was exhausted. Why keep fighting her mother? Why have a mother?

Kara's eyes went wide and she tensed, her hand almost crushing Alex's. Alex knew what it was about, beyond her relationship with Eliza. Kara had lost her mother, had not had a chance with her and here Alex was throwing hers away. Well, she doubted Alura spent Kara's life making her feel unworthy of her own name and bloodline. Kara did not have to worry about Alura thinking she might harm a guest, did not have to hurt over the fact that Alura did not check on her, and did not agonize over the fact that Alura did not seem interested in her life at all.

Eliza blinked and paused. "Disown you?"

"Yes. Isn't that what this has always been about anyway? I've always been unworthy of being your daughter. I've always been second best and that's out of a choice of two." Alex did not even want to think of what would have happened if there were other choices. She probably would have had to live under the stairs.

"Alex, that's not…" Her mother's voice faltered and she raised a trembling hand briefly.

Alex scoffed. "Oh, please. I've known for a long time that you don't want me. Maybe you never wanted me."

"Why would you even think that?"

"How could I not?" Alex shouted for the world to hear and then laughed as she covered her face with her hand for a second. "When was the last time I did anything that was good enough for you? When was the last time you even acknowledged something I did? Even when you call me on the phone, you're only checking on Kara. I get it. You feel responsible her. Hell, you _are_ responsible for her and her wellbeing and that's a big thing. But, it's your everything and apparently that's fine for you, but for her to be my everything, then it's a problem."

"Alex…" This time the name was whispered, quivering, almost like it could crumble in the air. Alex did not have a category for this sound.

"Maybe I should just…" Kara practically vanished.

"You really think I want to disown you?" her mother asked.

"Why wouldn't I think that? When was the last time I did something you were remotely happy with? I come in here and tell you I'm in a relationship with Kara and you don't even ask how it makes me feel. You jump right into what a horrible person I am. You never miss a chance to remind me I'm practically Satan," Alex replied. It would have been an exaggeration were it not for this moment.

Her mother frowned, but it was different from before, like there was a bad taste in her mouth. "I don't think that, Alex. You're my daughter."

Alex folded her arms across her chest. "Poor you, right?"

Eliza flinched. "It's not like that. I just… I worry."

"About Kara."

Her mother glanced away and put her hand on the back of a chair. "Well, yes. I worry about Kara. I've taken that child under my wing and into my house. So many bad things could happen to her because of all the ways she's different and so many bad things have already happened to her. I have to worry about her, but I worry about you, too."

Alex snorted, throwing her head to the side a little. "Oh, yeah? You don't know anything about me beyond your assumptions and you don't care."

"Of course I care. You're my daughter."

"Yeah, the one you didn't want."

Her mother shook her head. "I can't believe you think that. Why would you think that?"

"What else am I supposed to think? Tell me the last time you were proud of something I did. Something I did on my own, not connected to Kara." Alex was not surprised by the silence. "Now, tell me every horrible thing I've done, connected to Kara or not. You can start with this and then go all the way back to when you thought I'd fucking rape Kara or some other bullshit when I presented."

Eliza's body jumped and she put her a hand to her chest. "I never thought you were going to rape Kara!"

"Oh, please, Mom! You moved me out of my own goddamn room almost the second I presented and pressed a bottle of prescription grade suppressants into my palm right after! I didn't even have to go to the doctor for them. You just got them for me and made sure I always had tons of them. I took all of my fucking suppressants one day and you couldn't even be bothered beyond your goddamn disappointment! And, best of all, your favorite line, 'protect your sister, Alex. Watch out for your sister, Alex. Make sure your sister is okay, Alex.' Why not just say 'fuck your life, Alex'? It would've been more honest," Alex said.

"Alex, what makes you think I don't care about you?"

Alex blew out a breath and touched her forehead for a second. "Uh, literally my entire life since Kara showed up! Everything you've ever said to me centers around her. And ever since I presented, you've made sure I understood perfectly well that she's an innocent who needs to be protected, especially from me, and I'm awful whenever I look at her in a less than sisterly manner. I got it. Don't worry. I got it."

Eliza squinted as she studied Alex, like she thought Alex was out of her mind. "Alex, you're wrong. Okay, yes, maybe I should pay more attention to your achievements. I just… worry about losing Kara. I worry about something happening to her just because she's not from here and she's lost everything. She doesn't deserve that, so it's always at the forefront of my mind. It's been even worse since your father's death and I'm sorry for that." Her mother's eyes glistened, like she was genuinely sad and maybe she was. It was easy to be sad when her father's death came up.

Alex let loose another snort as she folded her arms across her chest. "All you worry about is Kara and you always think the worst of me, especially when it comes to her." Nothing her mother said could negate the evidence piled up over the years.

"That's not true."

Alex tilted her chin up. "You know what, we're both scientists. So, let's examine the evidence. Let's make it easy and we'll go with big things, starting with me presenting as an alpha. Again, the first thing you did was usher me out of my own room to protect your precious Kara. Despite all the shit I've done for Kara, you actually thought I'd try to hurt her. You think you take care of Kara? I take care of Kara!" She pointed to herself.

"I didn't move you out because I thought you would hurt Kara."

"Oh, really?" What nonsense would her mother spout to make this something other than it was?

"I moved you out to protect _you_ from _her_."

For a long moment, Alex could have been felled with a feather. Of all the things her mother could say, that was the excuse she was going with? "Nice try, Mom. I don't need protecting from Kara and I never have. I'm the big bad alpha and you'd know, right? You'd know how horrible I could probably be, right?"

Eliza took a breath and shifted from foot to foot for a moment. "I didn't think you would be horrible. I'm an alpha. I know what we're like."

"Yeah, you thought I was the worst of the worst. You thought I'd be some asshole who took what I wanted from Kara, like I could even do that!" Alex flung her hand out, motioning to the ceiling. Still, it hurt and it hurt deep because her mother was an alpha. Her mother should have known what she was like, but instead treated her like one of the most negative stereotypes of an alpha there was. Her mother acted like she was not to be trusted around someone with a vagina.

Eliza shook her head. "Yes, I saw how you looked at Kara and how she looked at you. When you presented as an alpha, I thought this was set up for heartbreak for you. I believed Kara would eventually become very well adjusted to Earth life, like any teenager, and she'd want to experience so much of the world beyond our little section of the Earth. I could see you loved her, but I wasn't sure it would last and I knew it would break your heart. I knew for a fact it would crush you when you took all of those suppressants. Kara had such a powerful hold on you."

Alex paced a couple of steps in each direction before she put her hand back to her forehead and regarded her mother. "So, everything you did was protect me? That's why you didn't say anything about me almost killing myself? That's why you moved me into Dad's study for my new room?" _I expected a lot of bullshit, but the lies? Not expected_. It helped her build even more armor to withstand her mother.

"I put you there because I thought it would help you deal with his death. You always liked to be surrounded by his things. You always liked his office."

Alex took a deep breath to control herself. "Did you put me there to protect me from Kara or did you put me there to let me be around Dad's stuff right after he died? Which is it?" She could not believe her mother could tell her these lies.

Eliza held up her hands in surrender, as if that would calm the situation. "Both. I thought you needed a different space from her and your father's study was open. I thought it would do you good to be around his stuff. You loved his books and his journals. You have so much history with that room, staying up late with him, plotting as you two used to call it."

Alex hated the warmth that spread through her thinking about her father when she was younger. He liked using the words "plotting" and "scheming" whenever they were up to something. If they were just going to build a pillow fort, they had to devise a plot on how to design it. If they planned to walk to the beach at night to view the sky, they were scheming on staying up late or getting out of chores. Even when she got older, if they were going to build a model together, it was still a plot on putting it together. Most of their plots and schemes were born in his office, whispered or doodled on scraps of paper.

"You didn't even talk to me about his death. You just shoved me in his room," Alex said. "I was haunted by him." He was everywhere in that room. A tear slid down Alex's face. "I couldn't look anywhere or go anywhere in there without thinking about him, remembering him, feeling him, but not really, and knowing I would never see him again. I couldn't deal with that." She had spent very little time in that room, more often than not sleeping on the couch. She did her homework with Kara in her former room, left whatever she could in her old room, and left her clothes in the laundry room. Her mother never seemed to piece together why.

Eliza gasped, as if she had not considered that. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how to talk about him, not with you, but in general. I thought… I thought just holding you when I could was enough."

Alex forgot about the random hugs she got from her mother after her father's death. Sometimes, Eliza seemed to have radar for when she needed one and Kara was not already attached to her side. But, it was far from enough. Her mother sighed.

"You would've been better off with him. He always knew you so much better than I did, better than I do," Eliza said, rubbing her face with both hands.

With a frown, Alex shook her head. "But, you're the one who's here. You putting me in his study after I presented, it was like you were throwing me away, putting me in a hole with him, burying me with him." She pointed to the floor before she paced again, a couple of steps in either direction and then her focus was back on her mother. "Part of me thought it was because I was an alpha and since you're an alpha, I thought you knew something terrible about me."

"I wasn't trying to make you think that. I would never do that, not on purpose. I was just trying to make you comfortable and protect you." Her mother seemed to be pleading with her to understanding, but Alex was not there yet.

Alex shook her head. "I still walk around thinking something's wrong with me, Mom. Do you even get that? I'm so messed up, on so many levels." She tapped the side of her head. "My first time with an omega, I had to get so drunk because I thought there was something wrong with me and I was scared she'd realize it. I was so drunk. I barely remember what happened, except for the worst part of the night anyway. Do you know I threw up on her? I actually threw up on the poor girl."

Alex hated the memory, not just throwing up an omega who looked way too much like Kara for her to not know where her desire lied. The idea of having to get so drunk in the first place to go through trying to have sex and to go through with trying to have sex with an omega who looked like Kara. She doubted there was enough alcohol on Earth to make her forget how messed up she was or how messed up she felt at the time. She could still hear her mind telling her how disgusting she was for wanting to have sex with her sister.

Eliza's expression melted into pure sorrow. "Alex, you have to know I didn't mean for you to carry that with you."

Alex motioned to the chair her mother had been sitting in. "You just called me a degenerate not even five minutes ago. So, no, I don't know you didn't want that for me. I've carried around that feeling since I presented. All you did was confirm for me what I thought you already thought."

"I don't want that. I don't want you to feel that way."

Alex arched an eyebrow to that statement. "What have you done to leave me to believe you even want me? I've been your bodyguard and babysitter for Kara since she showed up and nothing more. When was the last time you cared about me or something I did on my own? Hell, something I even did for Kara beyond what you asked me to do? You didn't realize I was failing out of school. You didn't say anything about my maybe attempted suicide. I don't even know what the fuck that was and you've never bothered to ask! You didn't even say anything when I stopped surfing!" There were so many huge moments in her life that her mother barely commented on, like they did not matter, like she did not matter.

A tear slid down Eliza's eye and Alex was certain she knew why. Everything she said was true. Her mother was very hands off when it came to her and she always had been. The problem was that without her father there, the neglect was glaring. She wished her mother would just own it.

Eliza took a deep breath and moved to stand right in front of Alex. "I've never meant to make you feel like this, Alex. You're a wonderful daughter. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life, as a friend, a sister, a daughter."

Alex arched an eyebrow. "Lover?"

Eliza gave her a slow nod as more tears slid down her face. With a sniff, she tried to wipe them away. "Of course. I never meant to hurt you, Alex. I thought I was protecting you. You've led me to believe I did an awful job at that. I never considered how many of my decisions might have affected you so negatively. I thought I was doing what was right. I never thought about how my silence affected you. When you took all of the suppressants, I didn't think you were trying to kill yourself. I thought it was an accident to try to control your rut and I didn't say anything because I thought you were embarrassed."

Alex threw up her hands. "Of course I was embarrassed. I was in a hospital. I missed a week of school. I couldn't figure out if I was trying to kill myself or not. I felt like an idiot. What kind of moron can't figure out if she was actually committing suicide? But, you still should've said something. You're my mother and I almost died and you didn't say anything. You didn't even say you were happy I didn't die, happy I was still here. Like, what the fuck?" Alex hated to think she was just like her mother, emotionally unavailable, except when it came to Kara. _No, you tried. You just didn't feel anything for those other women or you were too traumatized to make it anywhere with them_.

Eliza wrung her hands together, reminding Alex of Lady MacBeth of all characters. "Words sometimes fail me with you, but I thought you understood my touch."

"Your touch?" Alex could feel her brow furrow as she stared at her mother.

Alex was ready to go off on her mother, but then suddenly Eliza had her hand, holding it firmly with both of hers. It paused everything inside of Alex and then took her back to her hospital bed. Tears slid down her cheeks, just as they had done back then. It had only lasted a minute back then, but she had felt so much. _Fuck_.

"Words help and you never try with words," Alex said. Her mother was tactile with her, like she was with Kara, but it was impossible to understand what touches meant without words.

"I understand that and that was a failure on my part. So, allow me this chance to try again."

"Try again?" Alex held in a scoff. She wanted to say it was too late, but those words refused to come while her mother had her hand.

Eliza gave her hand a squeeze. "Alex, you're in a relationship with Kara? I suspected you two might have feelings for each other. I'm glad you waited to act on them, so you can be sure."

"You don't mean that," Alex said, yanking her hand back. "You're just trying to clean it up now. You don't mean it." The first reaction was the true one. Her mother would never say something to try to make her feel normal or encourage her to be happy, even now.

"I want you both to be happy and I know you make each other happy. I also don't want to be the person to make you miserable or make you feel less than when you're an amazing person. You're an established scientist and a federal agent. You save lives almost every day. You've saved the world before. I'm not disappointed in you. I could never be disappointed in you. I love you, Alex."

Alex wanted both to believe every bit of this and call bullshit on it at the same time. She craved her mother's love and approval like any child, but her anger had become a part of her. To lose that anger was to lose a piece of herself. She was not sure what to do.

"Can I think on it?" Alex asked.

"I think we both need to let these words settle. Are you going to stay the night?"

"I'm in no shape to drive." She felt beyond drained.

Eliza only nodded and Alex made her way upstairs without a second though. She paused at her father's study. She never thought of it as her room, but some of her stuff was in there, mixed with his. It had been home for two years, but never home. Sort of like home stopped being home when he was gone.

Alex moved on, going to her original room, Kara's room. Kara made it her room in the same way Alex made her father's office her room. It had necessities in it and nothing more, even though Kara had lived in the room longer than Alex had lived in her father's office. Kara had not had much with her when she came to live with them and apparently had not collected much. That was a thought for later, though.

"You heard all of that," Alex said to Kara, who was curled up in her bed, eyes wet and cheeks streaked with tears.

Kara nodded and sniffled. "I ruined your life."

"No, you didn't." Alex sighed and stripped out of her clothes. She crawled into bed next to Kara and wrapped her in a strong embrace. Kara cuddled in close and Alex wiped away any remaining tears. "Me and my mom have always had problems. I think it just hurt more and stood out more because you didn't seem to have those problems with her."

Kara shook her head. "She and I committed the same sins. We never consider you."

"No, it's not the same thing. I'm here to protect you. Mom is my sire. She's supposed to protect me. That's her job and it hurts that I don't feel like she did it, like I wasn't worth it. Do you feel like I don't my job?" Alex asked, heart already shredded. If Kara said anything to confirm that, Alex was certain she would die in the bed.

"I don't think it's your job to protect me, but you do a good job at it. I don't want you to be burdened with me."

"You're not a burden. I love you." She kissed the top of Kara's head. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, and I think even though your mom is kinda bad at showing it, she loves you, too."

Alex sighed. "Agreed. That doesn't make it hurt less." It also did not help her understand where they stood now or who she would be if she let go of that past hurt, that past anger.

Kara looked at her with a smile. "But, this might be the road to healing, right?"

"Maybe." Alex would not hold her breath. Her mother had a lifetime of behavior to change and Alex did not see that happening, even after that emotional speech. Plus, again, the anger was part of her, so she might have to learn to let it go, change herself.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Kara asked as she snuggled in as close to Alex as she could without crushing her.

"I think this was mostly between me and Mom. Anything you want to talk about?"

Kara was quiet for a moment. "You threw up on a girl? An omega?"

"Yeah. I was really messed up drunk. It didn't help that…" Alex took a deep breath. It was hard to say to Kara, even though she knew Kara heard. "She looked like you, Kara. She was tall with blond hair and blue eyes. She had a really cute laugh. I guess I thought since I couldn't be with you, I could be with someone like you. Turns out, no. I threw up all over her and it wasn't because of the alcohol, as I had perfected drinking at that point. Not to mention, it happened twice."

"Twice?" Kara's voice was loud in the dark.

"Yeah. I tried again with a very similar girl and threw up again. I was polite enough to miss her. They were omegas and what happened with them soured me on omegas. That's why I don't want you to be an omega. I just want you to be you. I only want you."

Kara's face lit up a little. "Well, I can only be me."

Alex kissed Kara's forehead, feeling at ease from the feel of that bit of skin. "That's good. You're the only one I want."

"I still feel bad."

"Don't. My relationship with my mother has never been ideal. My father was just there to cover up the flaws or drag her along. Some of her reasoning, I even understand. I mean, putting me in Dad's study as a way of making me feel closer to him. I could see how that would work in her head. Do I think she was protecting me from you? No. She was protecting you from me and it hurts. I mean, she's an alpha. She should know I could control myself, but she thought I'd take advantage of you."

"She should've talked to us about this."

"Yeah, but she's not a talker. At least not when it comes to me and unless I push for it." Alex was not one to push, though, not with her mother.

Kara made a noise in the back of her throat. "I want us to talk."

"We do and we will." Communication was definitely key. She would never take it for granted again.

"And if we ever have a child, we have to talk to the child, too."

Alex was not sure if it was possible for her and Kara to have children. It was something she would focus on researching now that she could stop worrying over Kara being poisoned in small doses by kryptonite. She would also look into speeding up Kara's recovery from kryptonite. There was a lot to do.

"If we ever have a child, we will talk as much as possible." Alex had no desire to repeat the mistakes of her mother.

"You think you'll be able to sleep?" Kara asked.

"I think I'll be all right." She said what she needed to say. Now, the ball was in her mother's court. Eliza could see reason or they would have to make new holiday plans.

-8-8-8-8-

As it turned out, Kara was the one who could not sleep. While Alex might tell her she did not ruin her life, Kara still felt responsible for all of this misery and woe in Alex's life. If nothing else, she was the reason Jeremiah died and he was the parent Alex _needed_. He was the glue of this family. What would Alex have been if her father was still around? She could not even fathom the greatness that would have been.

It also hurt to know Eliza thought she would hurt Alex. Yes, she could understand thinking she would want to explore the world, but she would never find someone better than Alex and she would never leave Alex believing she was less than the best person ever. What had she done to give off such a low impression of herself? She would ask in the morning.

The morning came too slowly for Kara and she got up before Alex did. She made some breakfast, an entire box of frozen waffles, and sat at the table, eating and waiting. Eliza wandered down, seeking coffee more than likely. She looked worse for wear, hair in several directions and bags under her eyes. She glanced at Kara, but did not say anything until she got her cup of coffee.

"You okay?" Eliza asked, easing into a seat next to Kara. She wrapped both hands around the cup, which she was something she did for as long as Kara could remember with her. It was like the heat did not bother Eliza.

"I'm eating all your frozen waffles," Kara said.

A tiny smile settled on Eliza's face for a split second and she patted Kara on her wrist before her hands returned to her mug. "They're there for when you stop by."

Kara nodded, knowing that good and well. "You've always been so good to me, Eliza. Why did you think I wouldn't be good to Alex? I love Alex and I always have. Why do you think I would just leave her behind?" She had been left behind too much in life to ever curse Alex in such a way, even though Alex would not be alone if she did.

Eliza shook her head. "It was more of a fear than an actual thought. I always knew you'd blossom. I didn't know into what." That was possibly a Supergirl reference. "I thought you would go off and explore the world to find yourself while I always felt like Alex knew who she was, so she didn't have to go look."

 _If only Alex knew who she was_. It would save them all a lot of pain and suffering. "Alex would be surprised to know you think so highly of her."

Eliza sighed and Kara was certain she could see and hear the woman deflate. "It's terrible to know how hard I failed her. I failed her, Jeremiah, and my family. I failed as an alpha." Her eyes looked into her coffee mug, but they might as well had been staring inside of her, inside of an abyss.

Kara twisted up her mouth. "I don't really know what that means. I'm not sure how I passed sex ed." Maybe she used to know more about human sex stuff than she did now.

"You've probably just forgotten things you once knew as you haven't had a chance to use the information again."

Kara nodded. "Maybe. So, as an alpha you're supposed to do what for the family?"

"Protect them, keep them safe, not hurt them, and I've hurt Alex. I've hurt you. I didn't—couldn't—protect Jeremiah and I think that's affected me more than I realized now that I see how much I hurt Alex. As the alpha, I'm expected to protect my omega and our babies."

"You couldn't have saved Jeremiah, though. You weren't with him and you couldn't be with him every moment of the day."

Eliza's shoulders dropped. "Intellectually, I know that, but emotionally, I can't accept it." She scratched a spot on her shoulder that was covered almost entirely by her nightshirt. But, Kara was almost certain she could see the beginning of a bruise. An old bruise, possibly teeth marks. "I should've been there for him. I should've been there just for the simple fact that Alex needed him. Alex needed him and I lost him."

"You didn't lose him. It wasn't your fault. You have a lot on your shoulders, but that shouldn't be one of them," Kara said. She could not lie to Eliza and say things were out of her control. A lot of what happened with Alex was very well in her control, but Jeremiah was beyond her.

"Kara's right, Mom. You shouldn't blame what happened to Dad on yourself," Alex said as she strolled into the dining room.

"If something happened to Kara while you weren't there, would anyone be able to convince you it wasn't your fault?" Eliza countered.

Alex's head rocked to the side. "I see your point." She sat across from Eliza. "You don't look so good."

"I stayed up all night thinking about how I screwed up as your mother, as your sire. I think the worst thing out of this all is you think I don't care about you. I love you so much, Alex. You too, Kara. I love you both and I don't want to be the one who hurts everyone in our family. I've let fear and failure do more harm than should've ever been allowed," Eliza said.

"So, you're okay with our relationship?" Kara asked, pointing between her and Alex with her fork.

"I want you two to make it. I know how much you mean to each other. I hope this new aspect of your relationship doesn't change things for the worse," Eliza replied.

"That's what you're scared of?" Kara inquired.

Eliza sighed. "Yes. Among other things. I truly thought I was protecting you when I separated you."

Alex shook her head. "Mom, do you realize that when I presented as alpha and then you, my sire, pulled me from my own room, do you know how that impacted my mind, my development? I thought something was wrong with me. I thought something was wrong with me until about two months ago."

Eliza's eyes drifted back to her mug and once again it seemed like she was searching inward, hopefully trying to find the right words. "I can't apologize enough for that. I thought I was doing the right thing, but there was a lot of things I didn't take into consideration. I understand that now that you pointed it out. I want to be better moving forward."

"Well, first, again, you have to talk to us more. We're talking to each other more. You have to do the same," Alex replied.

Eliza nodded. "Yes."

"Seriously, Mom. Don't talk _at_ us. Talk _to_ us. If you have concerns, let us know without dictating what you want us to do. If you have fears, let us know without making us feel bad about something," Alex said.

"And maybe if you have praise, let us know because every now and then, we might do good work." Kara gave Alex a smile. Alex deserved a little praise and probably would not know what to do with herself should her mother express pride in her.

Eliza's eyes drifted to her coffee cup and now Kara was sure she was looking for the right words. She seemed to find them sooner and easier than before as she looked across at Alex. "I've always been happy and lucky to have you as a daughter. It's my shame for not expressing it more often. You're a wonderful person. I need you to know that."

Kara could hear Alex swallow, even though it was low enough that Eliza could not have possibly heard it. How long had Alex longed to hear such words from her mother? Kara could not imagine.

"Maybe you could come to National City one day and come out with us to dinner," Kara said with a smile. "Just sort of observe us in our natural habitat."

Alex and Eliza both chuckled and Eliza nodded. "I'd like that."

After that, they sat there in silence for a long while before Alex offered to go get breakfast bagels. It gave her time to gather her thoughts. Eliza went to office, but they all regrouped when Alex returned. They settled in the living room and watched a movie. It was nice, relaxed. A good type of quiet with Alex in the middle of the couch, Kara curled up against her one side and Eliza sitting next to her on the other. _I hope this is how it is from now on. I want Alex and Eliza to have a good relationship_.

This seemed like a good fresh start for the Danvers family. Kara and Alex left on a good note. They got home in time for a shower and then went to bed without plans to go to sleep. With the red sunlamps doing their jobs, Kara could feel Alex all around her in every way possible as she snuggled into Alex.

"Thoughts?" Kara asked.

"That wasn't as painful as I expected."

"Well, you expected her to literally rip you apart so…"

"Emotionally, she sort of did for a moment there. I just gave as good as I got."

Kara nodded. "But, it's probably going to start the healing. You set the broken bone. Yes, it hurt, but now it can heal properly."

"We'll see."

"Are we okay?"

"Of course we're okay. At least from my end. What about you?"

"I just want to make sure I start thinking of you more, of your needs. You deserve to be pampered as much as anyone else." She had already planned to do that, but it could not longer just be a plan. She had to make it happen as soon as possible.

Alex chuckled and kissed Kara's forehead. "This is more than enough for me. I don't need a lot to be happy and I've learned this over the years. Having you close, like this, and loving me, that's enough."

Kara purred and rubbed her calf against Alex's leg. "That's enough for me, too. Being with you." She still had to figure out how to spoil Alex, spoil her rotten. For now, this was enough, though. It was more than enough for her. "I love you so much."

"I love you as well. I love you in more ways than I thought possible."

Kara understood that, feeling the same way. Alex was the brightest light on her darkest night, the sun of her world. She wanted to show her appreciation and she would, as soon as she got some ideas. For now, she cuddled in closer to Alex and just enjoyed the listening to her breathe. This was the best thing on Earth.

-8-8-8-8-

The end.

Well, guys, here we are, three chapters and well over 60,000 words more than I expected to write for this. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for the support. I hope you come back to read more of my work. If you like my work, please go check out my books on Amazon under the name S. L. Kassidy. Come say hi to me on Facebook, too. Back to my padded cell with me. Thanks again.


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